Breathing Underwater
by strangedazey
Summary: Set one year post Avengers. Loki had been imprisoned on Asgard until Thor brought him back to Midgard to heal. But war is coming. What side will Loki choose? Loki x OC
1. Chapter 1

So this began because of my obsession with Loki... And turned into a shameless fix-it fic.

Disclaimer: I own nothing except my scary brain and any mistakes are mine alone. Please read and review!

* * *

"_The world breaks everyone, and afterward some are strong at the broken places."_

~Ernest Hemingway

**One year earlier**

Home was just another word for pain; the pain of loss, the pain of failure and humiliation. He was being sent home to be judged for the crimes he had committed on Midgard as well as Asgard, and had no reason to think Odin would be lenient because of their so-called familial ties. He thinks he will long for death before they are finished with him.

He was right.

**Present day**

Rose took a deep breath in a supreme effort not to scream in frustration as she waited. Seriously, what was _wrong_ with her? All it had taken was a tearful phone call from her friend Jane, a visit with Jane's new boyfriend Thor, and her resolve had crumpled like wet paper. The idea of shy and bookish Jane in love with the God of Thunder and future king of Asgard would have made her laugh if it wasn't so obvious how gaga the two of them were over each other, it was almost painfully sweet to watch. But evidently the overwhelming cuteness had sucked any form of intelligence out of her head, because she had agreed to let Thor bring his brother to her house to stay.

Thor was afraid that Loki wouldn't survive another year in the prison of Asgard, that he had given up and was waiting to die.

Jane thought she would be uniquely suited to keeping the God of Mischief out of trouble and confined at her remote home at the base of the mountains in West Virginia.

Rose wasn't sure if Jane thought she'd be good for Loki, or that she was just as batshit-crazy as Loki in her own way and would be the best one to try and understand him.

This was what she got from running away from her life in the city, she thought with a sour look at the dark clouds gathering in the north. People thought that just because she lived in the middle of nowhere that she was prime babysitter material for a wayward _god. _She snickered at the thought, maybe she really _had_ gone crazy and this was just a bad hallucination and she would be waking up soon.

Rose rubbed her eyes and sighed, she'd seen the footage on the news alone with the rest of the population as Loki had almost destroyed the world, and while she did think he needed to rethink his methods, being punished indefinitely (or tortured to the point of death) may not be the best way to bring about a change of heart. So, here she was, waiting for Thor to break his brother out prison on Asgard so he could be confined yet again here with her. Thor had warded her property so Loki couldn't leave unless he or Rose allowed him to, and the irony that she had in fact just become his new jailer wasn't lost on her. Jane must have told Thor about what her issues with people were, because after talking to her he was convinced that this place with her was the best place for his brother to recover (or regain his sanity) from his incarceration.

She'd shamelessly read Thor's mind, and seeing Loki's condition through his eyes had led to some serious doubts about her own state of mind. How the hell did they think they were going to keep him confined? How the hell did Jane think that she would be good for _anyone_, let alone someone who was so broken? Her life was just barely livable as it was, how did that mean that in any way that she was going to be good for anyone else?

She walked over and sat on the swing on her back porch and looked at the swirling clouds, the loud crack of thunder barely registering, she was so lost in her thoughts. Rose watched as the first drops of ice-cold rain pattered down and darkened the smooth wooden planks of the porch, then got to her feet. She decided to go start getting some medical supplies together, after listening to Thor, something was telling her that her new roommate wasn't going to be in good shape when he arrived. She turned and gave one last look at the dark-grey sky, then thought maybe she'd start a fire was well. It seemed like the day had suddenly turned cold with a vengeance. Rose shivered as she walked in the house to wait.

Loki stood and waited as he was shackled and gagged yet again. Though how far Thor (his mind refuses the word brother) thought he could get in his present condition, he really could not imagine. He still wanted to cringe at the look of pity that Thor had given him when he had opened the door to his cell. Could still felt the searing pain of the lash, his back had been whipped to a ruin, until the blood had ran down his skin unchecked. His powers had been stripped from him, so there was nothing he could do to heal himself or even at least disguise how badly he had been beaten.

He would not take pity from _anyone_, least of all Thor.

Thor had flinched at the sight of his brother's mangled back, but oddly enough had said little for a change, and just covered Loki with a cloak, taking care to make sure his face was concealed as well. Loki could not even stir up enough interest to care where Thor was taking him as he heard the locks rattle in his cell door. The next thing he knew Thor was helping him up onto his horse, then the pain made the world fade to grey once again. Then came the familiar crackle of sound as the Bifröst came to life. He had a moment to hope he would get lucky and it would collapse again; only this time killing him in the bargain, and then they were gone to whatever fresh Hel awaited him.

A great crack of thunder that heralded their arrival, and normally he would have just attributed it to Thor showing off, but he could feel no magic being worked. It was just a simple thunderstorm. Then without a doubt he knew where Thor had taken him, they were on Midgard. He wanted to laugh at his earlier thoughts of Hel, because really? Midgard was much worse. Then of course it started raining.

The pounding rain had quickly soaked through their clothing and beat like an indifferent drum on the hood of his cloak. As it was all he could do to keep on his feet, Loki just let himself be led. The shackles that bound his wrists were rune etched silver, the spell of confinement woven into the very fabric of the metal, until his magic was restored, there would be no escaping them. He heard the sound of a door being opened and then was ushered inside a building by his brother's hand on his shoulder.

_No_, he corrected, _Thor's_ hand. He ground his teeth in frustration at himself, would he _never_ learn?

Rose was _pissed_. Oh, she understood the idea behind the chains, in theory anyway. Loki had almost destroyed the whole world, viewed humans with the utmost contempt according to Jane. But, and this was the part that had started her temper on a slow burn, if his powers were bound and she knew he wasn't able to hurt her, why the need for the magical handcuffs?

Thor's voice was hard as he spoke to Loki, if this didn't work he was out of ideas as to what to do to help him. Jane had said if anyone could get through to his brother, make him see that his life was still worth something, that the Lady Rose would be the person to do it. He tried to not let the despair he was feeling show as he began talking, "Your magic is still bound and while you cannot die, you will suffer and heal as if you were mortal." He directed his next words to Rose, as Loki appeared to be ignoring him, "He cannot commit violence nor take his leave of this place and or its lands unless you command it of him." He pulled the hood off his brother's head as he spoke, "Lady Rose has been most gracious and offered for you to stay with her, I think you will find the accommodations much more to your liking." Thor looked sheepish as he realized he hadn't made the proper introductions, "May I present my brother Loki, Prince of Asgard." He purposely didn't look at Loki, he could feel his brother's eyes boring holes in him as it was, "Brother, this is the Lady Rose."

Rose was stunned into silence as she just stood and gawked at Thor's brother. They had him shackledand _gagged? _She watched her new roommate drip water all over the wooden floor of her living room without comment until she noticed the water was tinged with red and felt her hands start to shake. She opened her mind to Loki, and stifled a moan at the instant onslaught of pain, and turned on Thor with a furious look.

"What have they done to him?" She crossed the room to stand by Thor and gestured to Loki with a trembling hand, "Unchain him now." Loki's green eyes were dulled with pain, his normally pale skin was ashen, but he still had enough strength to give her an imperious look at her for barking orders at his brother. She could feel his instant reaction of _anger/shame/refusal _at what he perceived to be pity. Rose disregarded the fury in his green eyes and reached out to unfasten the pin at his throat, ignoring the _she's touching me _horrorin his thoughts, though it did make her smile for a second. She carefully peeled the wet material away from the raw mess of his back, then put a steadying hand on his arm as she looked at the damage. For a minute all she could do was stare at him in shock, she'd seen a lot of things as a doctor, then a lot more horrendous things when she worked for Nick, but they'd made a fucking mess of him.

She fought to keep her voice level, because she knew if she didn't she'd start screaming as she spoke to Thor. "I'm going to need to clean his back or it's going to get infected. If he's not allowed to heal himself?" She put the question in her tone, not surprised at Thor's emphatic shake of the head. "He can lay on the table while I clean him up then." She'd felt Loki start to sway under the light hold she still had on his arm, and turned to face him again. Rose frowned again at the sight of the metal gag that covered the bottom half of his face.

"I want him out of the shackles now," she said. She studied him for a minute, thinking the gag must close in the back and given the way Loki towered over her, there was no way she could reach it unless he proved willing to accept her help. She watched him glare at her while Thor released him from his chains, and thought the only thing keeping him upright was rage.

He gave Loki a sad smile, "I hope when we see one another again, we have a better time of it." He clasped Loki on the arm, pretending not to notice the way he flinched away from him.

"Lady Rose, if I could speak with you?" Thor then gestured for Rose to follow him outside, and as they stepped out on the porch, she grabbed his sleeve.

"I need the key that unlocks the muzzle," Rose blurted out before Thor had a chance to speak. He probably thought she was crazy, but she really couldn't bring herself to care at the moment. Thor gave her a grave look then held out his hand to her, as Rose took the tiny silver key from his palm, she gave Thor a wink, "At least now he'll have to speak to me." She saw Thor's blue eyes widen at her words, then he gave her a genuine smile.

"I think you will find out quickly enough Lady Rose, that getting my brother to talk has never been a issue." He gave her a bow and left with a much lighter heart, the Lady Rose had a quick a mind as his brother it seemed. He laughed to himself as he launched himself skyward, thinking to himself that Loki may have finally met his match in the little human healer.

Rose sent up a quick prayer to whatever god that might be listening as she went back in the house, she had a feeling that she was going to need all the luck she could get.

Loki was still standing in front of the fireplace where she had left him, and he was most definitely _not_ looking at her. He kept those intense green eyes locked on the fireplace like the flames were the most interesting thing in the world. She sat the tray of medical supplies down that she'd brought in with her and walked over to stand beside him. He didn't turn to face her, but she saw the muscles in his body tighten with every step she took closer to him.

"You're too tall for me to the unlock that unless you bend down," she held her hand out as she spoke to show that she truly did have the key. His eyes flashed to her hand and back to her face.

"Will you let me free you?" She'd asked for the key, because she wanted him to know that it mattered to her that he was freed, that she offered him a choice in what happened to him, small as it was.

Rose kept her eyes locked on his as she waited for him to decide how their time together would start.

Loki felt a spark of genuine surprise at her words. He had not been offered a "choice" in anything for what seemed like a very long time, and he gave the dark-haired girl his full attention now. He supposed by the standards of Midgard she would be considered pretty enough; her hair fell in a riot of curls down past her shoulders, her eyes were a pale grey and she had a light dusting of freckles across her the bridge of her nose. Her skin was paler than normal for his people, then he gave a mental curse at the thought, not _his_ people, no matter what his wishes were. And she was _short_. He towered over her, and she would seem delicate next to the regal height of the women of Asgard. He watched as her mouth twitched, like she was biting back a smile at his inner turmoil.

Loki frowned at her as he bent stiffly at the waist, trying to ignore the awful pain in his back as he stooped to allow her to undo the metal covering his face. What harm could it do to allow her to unbind him?

Rose gently combed her fingers through his dark hair looking for the lock to the gag. Blood had dried in the ends of his hair, and she was trying to get to the lock without ripping half his hair out in the process. The key opened the lock with a tiny click and she carefully lifted the mask from off his face and got her first direct look at the God of Mischief. His face was lean, with high-cheekbones and a wide mobile mouth that looked like he'd be quick to smile or laugh with it. Or, at least he probably used to be, she thought. Large green eyes studied her as well, and she wondered briefly what he saw when he looked at her. She brushed away a lock of dark hair that had fallen in his eyes away from his face and felt the _confusion/how dare she touch me/pain _coming off him in a tangle of emotion.

Loki jerked away from her touch, and immediately regretted it as the pain in his back made the room do a slow spin. He felt the girl catch him around the waist as he staggered, then she gave a startled yelp as they over-balanced, right before they went down in a tangle of limbs. He had a second to hope he didn't kill her when he fell on her; then the pain seemed to be everywhere, and it was the last thing he remembered as he collapsed to the floor.

Rose tried to relearn to breathe as she started to squirm out from underneath Loki, for all his slim build he was surprisingly heavy. As she started shifting him to the side, she felt a hum of awareness from his mind right before he raised himself up on a forearm with a hiss of pain. Green eyes blinked down at her in confusion for a moment and if she had had the breath for it, she would have laughed. She settled for brushing the hair out of his eyes again, and noticed that this time he tolerated her touch without the snide mental commentary.

"I'm going to clean the wounds on your back and help with the pain," she tried to give him an encouraging smile as she spoke. There was definite doubt in the look he gave her; but he gave her a small nod before he obligingly raised himself higher, so she was able to wiggle out from under him before he collapsed back to the floor with a groan.

Rose hurried over to where she had left her medical supplies, even though she no longer worked as a doctor, she still had the basics and after she'd gotten the call from Jane, had restocked well beyond the norm for her. She gave a small laugh thinking that the basics probably never covered a Norse god that had been almost flogged to death. She looked at Loki's still form and tried to decide the best way to do this, she wanted to keep him in front of the fire, he had felt decidedly cool to the touch and she didn't want him going into shock. He couldn't die, but according to Thor he wouldn't heal at a normal rate, or what passed for a normal rate if you were from Asgard, and would suffer as if he were mortal.

Rose dropped down next to the now still god, after he'd dropped his head on his arm he hadn't moved at all. She touched his arm, and when he didn't respond to that, she quickly checked the pulse at the big vein in his neck and was rewarded with the slow thud of his pulse. He was alive, just passed out for the time being. She blew out of breath in relief, time to haul ass then before he came to.

Rose shifted Loki as gently as she could to one side, tipping him onto the blanket she'd brought, then she slid him across the wooden floor on it until he was as close to the fireplace as she could get him. Rose frowned at the blood that caked the waist of the thin trousers he wore, then with a shrug took her heavy medical shears and made a slit along either side of his waist, then carefully tugged off his boots. She watched him for signs of life, but he still appeared to be out cold. Dilemma time. She knew that the minute she stripped him and started on cleaning the mess they'd made of his back that he'd wake up, and the pain would be horrific. And _then_, thanks to her special _gift _and the fact she'd be in constant contact with him she'd get to feel it too. Rose muttered "_Fuck it," _under her breath. At least if she had to be touching him, she could dull the pain for him so he didn't suffer too terribly.

She started tugging off the blood soaked trousers and mentally kept her mind trained to his for signs he was waking up. Then all she could do was stare for a second, because:

A.) The God of Mischief evidently didn't believe in underwear.

And B.) He had a _great_ ass. He was all lean muscle without an once of fat. Anywhere.

Rose shook her head at the unfairness of it, she could exercise from now until the end of time and her butt would _never_ look that good.

Then of course, that was when she finally noticed that Loki was awake again. She felt his thoughts coalesce in a tumble of pain and anger as he raised his head and glared at her, making Rose blush so hard it felt like all the blood rushing to her head was going to make it explode. Ignoring the need to just die from embarrassment, she quickly got busy cleaning his back. It had been lashed to the bone in places, and at the first touch of the cloth to his back Loki snarled at her, twisting around and grabbing her by the hand so quickly she didn't even see him move. The pressure on her hand had stopped just this side of pain, but she could feel the unbelievable strength he kept contained. He could crush the bones in her hand to powder with just a hard thought it would seem, but his grip was careful, even though his eyes were glowing with anger. The fact he had kept from lashing out and really hurting her told Rose a lot about the man lying in front of her.

Loki glared at her, "I do not need your pitiful excuse of what passes for healing in this misbegotten realm." The girl narrowed her eyes, then slowly nodded her head in agreement. He raised himself up on his arms, ignoring the screaming protest from his abused back. "Just leave me alone." He started to let go of her hand, then froze as she squeezed his fingers.

Rose felt him start to push her away and spoke fast, "I may not be on par with a god, but I can assure you, my healing technique is _far_ from pitiful." Then she let her power wrap around him and drained away the pain. She took care to keep her breathing slow and even, not showing any sign of discomfort. She had one chance to get him to acknowledge what she could do, if he knew what this was costing her it wouldn't work.

Loki bit back a moan at the sudden absence of pain. He should be telling her to stop, to unhand him, but just took a moment to luxuriate in the pain being gone before it finally occurred to him as to how she was able to do this. Then he jerked away like her touch was burning him, ignoring the pain that roared to life again.

"You're a thought-sifter," he said flatly. She gave him a puzzled look at the term, but her full lips curved up in a smile as she very deliberately laid her hand on his shoulder as he watched. This time he could feel her using her power on him, and Loki wasn't sure if it was the fact that she no longer was trying to hide what she was doing or not, but it was making his eyes want to roll back in his head at the sensation. He felt her run her hand along his cheek whispering for him to rest, and the God of Mischief felt sleep overtake him.

Rose blew out a shaky breath, she had to work quickly now. She wasn't used to using that much power anymore and she didn't want him to wake up before she was finished. She cleaned the lash marks, making sure that they were completely disinfected before she started to bandage him up, lightly covering the worst of the whip marks. It wouldn't do him any good to get some sort of cross-species infection from being exposed to weird germs on Earth, she thought as she covered him to the waist with a soft blanket. His natural healing ability was faster than a human no matter what Thor said to the contrary, but he was still going to be in considerable pain for the next few days. Then she hurried to get cleaned up as well, thinking she wouldn't do him any good if she face-planted from exhaustion right when he woke up the next time.

Rose showered in record time, dressed in what passed as pajamas for her (t-shirt and sleep shorts) and got some much needed food. She made some tea for Loki, thinking getting some fluids in him would be a good idea, then went and checked on him. He was starting to toss and turn from the pain, moaning softly as he tried to shift around to a more comfortable position. She quickly grabbed his arm to stop him as he tried to turn onto his back, and Loki opened his eyes and gave her a pain-filled look of confusion.

"C'mon Loki, I need you to drink this," she said encouragingly, as she offered him the tea. He gave her a suspicious look, but he took a small sip of the tea. He must have decided it wasn't going to kill him, because he took the cup from her after that and drank the rest of the honey sweetened drink down in big gulps. She took the cup from him and sat it down, then just gaped at him when he grabbed her arm and started tugging her closer.

"Cold," he whispered. Loki wrapped his arm around her, and buried his face against her.

Rose had been surprised that he had accepted her touch without the revulsion he'd shown her early, the fact he was now cuddled up to her like this though was just shocking. She lightly rubbed his arms, choking down a wild urge to break down laughing. The Norse god was curled against her like she was his favorite toy. She looked down at him, then sighed and wiggled around until she was more comfortable. Loki then wrapped _both_ arms around her, and proceeded to use her for a pillow. Rose watched his brow wrinkle at the ache in his back, then reached out to touch his mind and dampened the pain. She could see the instant relief as the lines on face smoothed out and he relaxed into her with a soft sigh.

Suddenly exhausted herself, Rose cuddled Loki closer, stroking his silky dark hair until she fell asleep as well.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you so much to all that read and reviewed!

Disclaimer: It's not mine, I'm just playing with it.

* * *

"The heart is the only broken instrument that works."

~T.E. Kalem

Loki woke up slowly, thinking that for the first time in longer than he could remember he was warm. He raised his head up looking at the little mortal and thought that the fact that he had evidently slept all night with his face buried in her breasts should have filled him with disgust, should have horrified him. But for now, all he could feel was … good. It had been so long since he had known any sort of peace he found himself almost unable to recognize the feeling any more.

He studied the girl while she slept, knowing the only reason he felt as well as he did was due to how empathic the girl was. She had absorbed his pain almost completely, a rare talent indeed that would challenge the skills even of a healer from Asgard. The fact that she was just an inferior mortal, made it nothing short of astonishing. The fire had died down to a soft glow, and he watched bemused as the girl wrapped an arm around his shoulder, noting that even while sleeping she seemed mindful of his wounds. She must be dreaming, he thought as she mumbled something in her sleep to low for him to hear, then froze in place as he heard her whisper his name. She dreamt of him?

Then she slowly stiffened in his arms as she came awake, and now that he was more aware of it he could feel the light mental touch as her mind reached out for his. He braced himself for the intrusion; the times in the past he had been forced to allow others to touch his thoughts, it had been nothing short of a brutal invasion, but she was delicate as a moonbeam.

He shied away from the memories of Thanos then. The blackness that had consumed and stripped away all that he was, until he had screamed and wept and begged him to stop. Or later when he had just begged for them to kill him.

Loki cut off that line of thinking immediately and willed himself to relax as he closed his eyes again. If he could find a moment's peace even if it was with this mortal girl, he would seize it with both hands.

Rose felt Loki run the whole gamut of emotion before calming himself, then he gave a sigh as he relaxed against her again. She wasn't sure if she wanted to hug him or smack him for thinking she was inferior. The thought where he'd compared her to a moonbeam though … it made her give a little hum of pleasure as she gently rubbed the bare skin of his shoulders. It quickly turned to a yip of surprise when he suddenly raised himself up a forearm, green eyes blazing, his face inches from hers.

Loki studied her with a single minded intensity that he could tell was scaring her, could feel the sudden rapid beat of her heart, and all it did was make him angrier. Why would she want to help him? Why would she want to comfort him? He was a stranger to her, there were no bonds of friendship between them. No boon he could grant her in his currently reduced state. Suddenly incensed, Loki shoved himself back from her, ignoring the ripping pain from the lash marks. He made it to his knees, then staggered to his feet. The fact he was naked and she was staring up him with her face flushing a bright pink did nothing to improve his temper. He sneered down at her; Midgardians and their foolish notions concerning nudity. He had a perverse urge to laugh at the look on her face though, you would have thought the girl had never seen a naked man before.

Rose knew she shouldn't stare at him like that, or that she should at least try and blink before her eyes stuck like this and she went blind, but she just sat there like an idiot and drank in the sight of him. His hair was a wild tangle around his face, he was too thin, his time in prison had cost him weight he couldn't afford to lose. But lean muscles rippled with every movement, and if he wasn't as big as his brother in some ways, well … she had to think he was bigger in others. She must have been staring silently long enough to disconcert him, because he crossed his arms as he glared at her.

Loki scowled down at the girl, "Have you looked your fill yet?" He gestured to himself with the wave of a hand. "I know you only have the pitiful example of the so-called males of Midgard as a comparison, but surely you've seen a naked man before." He put as much contempt as he could in his voice, thinking if he angered her enough she would soon be begging Thor to come and get him. Then he would no longer have to look into her grey eyes that saw too much and laid him bare before her.

Rose gave him her most innocent smile as she got up, "Well, now that you're up, I want to get you moved to a bed. The floor isn't the best place to sleep." She'd felt the bitterness of his thoughts, but oddly enough most of it was self-directed and not aimed at her, no matter his words to the contrary. But she couldn't resist the temptation to needle him a bit as she continued talking, "And yes, I've seen more than enough."

She pointed him in the direction of a room down the hall, and waited until he'd gone a few steps in front of her before hitting with the rest of it. Making sure he could hear the laughter in her voice, she said, "You know, I was really expected something … I don't know … _bigger, _I guess. Seeing as you are a _god_ after all." Rose grinned as she watched his shoulders hunch in response, then he surprised her as he spoke without turning around.

"I am the God of Mischief and _**Lies**_. I do not have to be able to sift your thoughts to know when I am being told an untruth." Loki listened to her laugh, then gritted his teeth as pain raked across his back and made the world go out of focus. The girl quickly looped his arm over her shoulder taking his weight as he leaned heavily on her. He would have reprimanded her for touching him yet _again_, but he was no longer sure he could stay upright without help.

Rose let him lean on her as she opened the door to her bedroom, then helped him stagger to the bed and quickly pulled the covers back. All the color was gone from his face, and she could see that blood had started to seep through his bandages in spots as he struggled onto the bed. "I'm going to need to re-bandage your back, you're bleeding again." She kept a light grip on his arm to steady him as he tried to lay down.

Loki finally gave up trying to look graceful and just flopped on his stomach with a grunt of pain and buried his face in the pillow.

Talking. She was talking again. He thought if he ignored her long enough she would eventually go away and leave him in peace.

Rose knew he was still awake, so she just went and got her medical supplies and started changing the bloodied bandages. As bad as it was, the deep cuts were looking better already, which was surprising since Thor had said he wouldn't heal at an accelerated rate with his magic being bound as it was. There were still raw muscles exposed, but he'd healed enough at least she couldn't see bare bone anymore. She felt his muscles tighten up under her hands, so she alleviated the pain as much as she could, letting it flow out of him and into her. It was becoming easier again, thinking back to when she'd first started using her powers. In the beginning it was all she could do to make it home from work before she'd collapse from exhaustion. But it had gotten better with time and continued use, evidently mental abilities were like any other and became stronger and more capable with regular use. She saw Loki shiver and pulled the blanket up higher on his waist and got up to start a fire to help warm the room up. Her house wasn't huge, but her grandfather had built the rooms big enough that each bedroom had its own fireplace. She just stood and watched the flames for minute after she got it going, glad for the extra warmth herself. She'd been comfortable enough cuddled up with Loki, but standing in just sleep-shorts and a ratty t-shirt it was still cool.

Then a wave of despair hit her, so black and full of loathing all she could do was try not to drown under the onslaught of it.

Loki turned his head and watched the girl stand in front of the fireplace, looking lost in thought as she stared at the flames. He knew that the humans didn't consider what she could do magic, but he was struck again at how skilled she was after she'd soothed his pain while she had cleaned his wounds again. For all that his sorcery had been scorned (and feared, he thought) if the little mortal had been born to the Aesir, she would have been venerated for her powers. She would have been taught to use and expand them to make the most of her abilities. There would be much that he himself could teach her if he were so inclined.

Not that he would of course, the very notion was preposterous.

Mortals were so very finite in their thinking, all she really needed was to be shown how to make use of what she already had, and she would be a true force to be reckoned with. Loki shut off that line of thought with an almost audible snap, and buried his face in the pillow; ignoring the fact that it smelled like her, and the baffling fact that he took a small measure of comfort in it.

Because _nothing_ in this wretched realm was comforting. Not the absence of pain. Not the fact he could feel she wanted to help him.

And he didn't understand _why. _

There was nothing, because he was trapped here. And even if he _could_ go home, what would he go home to?

There was _**nothing. **_

Rose felt tears burn in her eyes as Loki's grief hit her like a slap and kept her movements slow and deliberate as she walked over to the bed and knelt down beside it, laying her arms along the edge of the bed. God, she knew despair. Knew the feeling of utter surety that nothing would ever be as you needed it to be in order to survive. As she watched Loki try to smother himself in the pillow, she hesitated for a second then reached out and let herself stroke his inky-dark hair away from his face. He flinched at her touch, then slowly turned his head to face her, big green eyes haunted as he met her gaze.

The suspicious look on his face would have made her want to laugh, except he'd leaned into her touch like he was unconsciously wanting the contact. Then almost like he'd heard _her _thoughts, he jerked his head away from her hand, high-cheekbones flushing with color.

Loki was mortified that he had let the girl coddle him like a child, and his voice was harsh as he spoke. "What do you _**want**_?" He ground the words out, then made himself glare at her, and for good measure thought how stupid she was again_. __**Loudly. **_So he knew she would pick up on it. He gave her a disdainful look as her eyes shot wide at the insult, but it quickly turned to puzzlement when she gave a huff of laughter.

Rose grinned at Loki as she stood up, "If you're not going to sleep, what do you like to eat? You need protein and fluids to help with the blood loss." She heard the next thought like he'd yelled it at her, and started laughing as he hid his face in the pillow again. "And no, all food on Midgard does not taste like _shit_. At least not when I'm cooking it. Well, most of the time anyway." Then she went to get changed and get the God of Mischief something to eat.

Rose carried the tray loaded with food and set it down on the dresser. She'd gone a little overboard making things, but she wasn't sure what he would eat. He didn't react to her coming in the room, but she could feel the hum of his thoughts and knew he was awake. She poured a cup of tea and drizzled honey into it, he'd seemed to like that well enough last night.

"Would you like some tea?" she asked. She didn't think he was going to answer her for a minute, then he gave an exaggerated sigh and slowly started to sit up. She put down the cup and handed him a pair of old sweatpants of Grady's that she'd found in the spare room. When he raised an eyebrow in question, she gave him a wide smile. "As pretty as you are, it's kind of cold to be walking around naked." The offer to help him dress was met with look of complete disgust so Rose turned her back and left him to it.

As Loki slowly pulled the shapeless black trousers up, he looked at her and frowned as he spoke. "Are you married then?" She gave him a look of incomprehension and he rolled his eyes at her, "These are far too large to fit you. Do you have a husband?" Of course it didn't _matter. _Refusing to examine the intent behind the question, he watched her put some type of food on a plate. Which he assumed she was going to want him to eat, Loki tried to stifle a shudder at the thought.

"Oh," Rose said. "No, I'm not married. They belong to my brother, he must have left them here sometime." She handed him the plate after he got settled, "I gather you've eaten food here before from what you said." She was wildly curious to see what he'd think of it, his expression had been waffling between disgust and suspicion while he'd been watching her. She hadn't been sure what he'd like, so had gone for the basics; bacon, eggs, and toast, reasoning he would at least like some of it. He poked at the eggs with the fork, then gingerly took a small bite. With his eyes partially closed. He must have decided it wasn't going to kill him, because the look on his face brightened and he took a bigger bite.

Rose snickered, "You look just like my brother did when he was little and you tried to get him to eat something he hadn't tried before." She stirred an obscene amount of honey into the bowl of oatmeal and handed it to him.

"A few times," he said. "The substance in that bowl looks disturbingly like vomit." He scowled as she laughed at the look on his face. "It does," he insisted. "It looks horrid."

Rose laughed again, "It's oatmeal. I know it doesn't look the best, but it tastes good. I put loads of honey in it and apples." As he just continued to stare at the bowl, she took the spoon from him and took a bite. "See? I'm still alive." She scooped up another spoonful and offered it to him, and laughed again as Loki's green-eyes shot wide with surprise.

Loki couldn't think of the last time anyone had played with him. It bothered him that he couldn't remember. Then it bothered him that he even cared enough to even try and remember.

But he did try the oatmeal.

Later, with his stomach full, and warm for the first time in months, Loki was pleasantly drowsy. He studied the girl as she came back in the room with a small jar, and a towel tossed over her shoulder. She was wearing the blue trousers that most Midgardians seemed so fond of, and a thin woolen shirt in a dark-wine color that looked soft to the touch. She had the sleeves pushed up and had a silver cuff on her left wrist. Other than that she had wore none of the trappings that women seemed so fond of normally. Her dark hair was a mess of curls as she pushed a lock of it behind her ear, and it was then he saw the uneven texture of the scar that started at the underside of her wrist and disappeared under the sleeve of her shirt. He caught her hand, and she froze in place when he turned her arm into the light, pushing her sleeve up. Loki turned the bracelet in his hand, taking note of the inscription in the smooth metal, then ran his fingertips over the scar that marred her skin. It looked like someone had tried to peel the flesh off in a long strip, he had seen a warrior that had been skinned alive in battle once, and it had a similar look to it. He was disgusted that a healer would have been abused so. It just proved that the people of Midgard were an uncivilized race, she should have been kept safe and - .

It was all Rose could do not to yank her arm away from him when he grabbed her, but his grip was surprisingly gentle. She knew what it looked like, could guess what he was thinking even if she was trying to keep out of his thoughts. "I did it to myself." Rose felt his shock at her words and made herself continue. "I was trying to … help someone, and I only made it worse." She gently tugged her arm out of his grasp, pushing her sleeve down as she spoke. "It's a story for another time."

Loki was puzzled at her words and thought for a moment to demand that she tell him, but then again, what did it matter to him why the girl would do such a thing. It mattered naught at all. He started to lie down again and winced at the pain. As he tried to peer over his shoulder to see the damage, the girl sat down beside him.

Rose took a deep breath, and held the jar up. "This will help with the pain. You're healing fast enough it's pulling the skin tight and making the pain worse." He gave her a suspicious look, but slowly laid down again. At first he flinched at every movement as she carefully rubbed the salve around the edges of the wounds, but she felt him slowly start to relax.

"Why are you doing this?" Loki tilted his head so he could see her face, "We are strangers to one another. Why would Thor bring me here?"

"Would it make sense if I said I'm not really sure?" Rose wiped her hands on the towel as she considered her next words. "Maybe Jane thought I could help? Maybe it's because I live in the middle of nowhere, so if you decide to turn me into a smear on the wall it won't make the news." She sighed, "Maybe because people think we both need to rejoin the world."

"I do not need your or anyone else's _help_," Loki said hotly. "I never asked Thor for his interference, and this is _not _my world as you put it." He felt a wave of dizziness as he tried to sit up, shoving her hand away from him when she tried to steady him. Then he grabbed her by the arm and gave her a shake, "What possible reason could you have for aiding me?" He saw her eyes widen as she tried to pull away from him and couldn't get free, and for the first time she really looked afraid of him.

He bared his teeth at her, "I am the _**nightmare**_ people tell their children of you _stupid _girl." As he watched her all the color drain from her face, Loki was suddenly disgusted with himself. He truly was no better than an animal if he would lay hands on a _sei__ð__konur_, a magic user of her ability. He let her go, and she stumbled back away from the bed and almost fell in her haste to get away from him. She stood trembling in the doorway, then fled the room without a backward glance.

Loki told himself he was glad, that she would now know better that to try and befriend him. He almost believed the lie. Almost.


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks to any and all who've read and reviewed! I lurve you all!_  
_

**Warning:** This chapter has a rape scene in it, so might want to give this one a pass if that's an issue for you.

Disclaimer: Still own nothing. sighs

* * *

_"The thing that is important is the thing that is not seen."_

~ Antoine de-Saint Exupéry

Rose ran out of the room and didn't stop until she was outside, taking deep breaths of the icy-cold air. The rain was still falling in a steady drizzle, and was doing its best to turn the world into a sleety mess. She was so pissed at herself that she'd let him get to her like that, she knew he'd think that it was _who_ he was that had freaked her out so badly, and it couldn't be farther from the truth. She gotten enough of what he was thinking to tell that he thought if he could drive her away, she would have Thor come and get him. Or that he'd be punished for his behavior, felt that part of him was yearning for the pain, for absolution. For an end to it.

"Well, _tough shit," _she snarled. It had been years since she'd voluntarily touched another's thoughts, and yet when she'd first woken up she had linked her mind to _Loki's_ like it had been the most natural thing in the world. Like he was _hers_.

"This is _so_ not good," she muttered as she rubbed her eyes. Then she stepped off the porch and tipped her face up to the rain, the freezing cold stealing her breath as she thought of all the reasons why she should stay away. And all the reasons why she knew she wouldn't.

Loki closed his eyes as he listened to the soft pattering of the rain. He would _not_ feel guilty about what he had done to the girl, that he had driven her away was for the best, and if he had made her fearful of him, well, it was a good thing. He would be glad of it, he thought. Then he willed himself to sleep.

He woke later to the sound of the windows being pelted by rain that had turned into ice, and judging by the light, he had slept for most of the day. He listened for sounds from the girl, but other than the hiss of sleet against the glass, he heard nothing. He slowly sat up, ignoring the immediate pain in his back, and took a good look around the room. The furniture was simple, but of high quality, the wood a dark reddish-brown. The covering on the bed was done in all shades of shadowy-grey, and was silky and warm to the touch. There were pictures of what he assumed was her brother on the wall, other than the difference in height, they looked remarkably alike. Pictures of the two of them with older people, that looked to be their parents. He noticed in the more recent looking pictures that the easy smiles were gone, and there was a subtle distance between the girl and the others.

There was a black and white picture of her standing next to a tree that had been rent almost in two by a lightning strike, she had her palm on the tree where the long jagged mark ran the length of it and was looking back over her shoulder at whoever was holding the camera. The lack of color made her pale eyes almost glow against the contrasting shadow and light, and her expression was serious, almost sad.

He got up and made his way over the fireplace and took a couple of logs from the neat stack and tossed them on the fire. As he watched the flames crackle to life he wondered if she would still look at him like he mattered to her, and Loki closed his eyes and cursed himself for a fool.

Then he stiffened as he heard the soft tread of the girl behind him, and watched her approach out of the corner of his eyes. She walked over the fireplace and stood next to him, holding her hands out to the fire before she spoke, and yet when she did, she said nothing he expected her to.

"You asked me why I was doing this," Rose said softly. "Why I would help you? Because I know what it's like to have your life shattered and know that nothing will ever be the same again."

Rose held up her scarred arm, then lifted the hem of her shirt to show a massive scar that ran from just below her ribcage diagonally across to her hip. He looked from the scar to her face, the question plain in his eyes.

"I was so smug, so sure that I knew everything at the time." She sighed and let her shirt drop, "I had all the plans. I was going to school to become a doctor, heal the sick with my magical powers and all that bullshit." She kept her eyes on the fire as she spoke, and her voice didn't waver, "I was doing great on the doctor part of it. Could feel what I could do get stronger every day. I had an apartment in the city, it was just a small room in this old house that had been converted into a apartments, and I had the best neighbors, Jim and Sara, and their six year-old daughter Katie." Now was the hard part, the part that after all this time made her breath hitch in her throat and eyes burn with tears, "I got to know them and used to watch Katie when her mom would run errands or just for fun. She was one of those kids that just made you happy to be around, she had these big brown-eyes, and long red-hair. A wicked sense of humor and she was hell-on-wheels. And I loved her."

Rose made herself look at Loki then, "I had gone to pick her up to go ice-skating, and her uncle answered the door. He'd stayed with them before, so at first I didn't think anything about it. He told me that Katie wasn't feeling well, so he was watching her while her parents went out for dinner. I could see in his mind what he was going to do to her." Rose swallowed hard, "I should have run, should have screamed until someone came to see what was wrong, but instead I told him to leave her alone. That I _**knew**_ what he was thinking." She laughed, but there was no humor in it, "He moved pretty damn fast then, he grabbed me and bounced my head off the wall and knocked me out."

She held up her arm, the scar standing out in bold relief against her pale skin, "The next thing I knew, I was waking up handcuffed to a pipe in the basement of the building. All I could feel was this sense of wonderment from him, that I could read his mind. He kept asking me to read his mind, to tell him what he was thinking. And I read his mind until he had had enough. Then he raped her, over and over again while she screamed for me to help her."

"I must have cut myself pulling against the handcuff, because when he came back he was mad about all the blood. Then he got out the knife that he'd killed her with, and he gutted me with it. Said a _thing_ like me should never be able to have children, bring another _monster_ like me into the world."

Rose had watched his eyes narrow at her words, "You're not a monster Loki. I've seen a monster, and you are not one." She watched his pale face flood with color a spilt second before he erupted in a fury.

_**"Do not presume to think you know anything about me!" **_Loki yanked her against him as he screamed at her. She put her hands out to catch herself as she crashed into his chest, but stayed silent and let him rage at her.

"I should have killed them _**both**_ while I had the chance. He lied to me my whole life, _**their pet monster**_. A trophy of war." All the things that he could not tell came out in wild rush of pain.

"After I fell, Thanos fed upon my rage, giving me the scepter." Loki could not stop the words as they poured from him now, "I was his for the taking, and even as Thor begged me to stop I could not."

Rose didn't think that Loki was even aware that he was weeping as he spoke or that he was shaking with grief.

"How can I ever go home? They will hate me forever for the things that I have done." Loki's voice trailed off to a broken whisper as he sank to his knees.

Rose dropped down next to him, hesitated, then tugged him into her arms. He stiffened against her, then all the fight went out of him and he let her hold him.

"Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in," Rose quoted the Frost poem softly. Loki had his head on her leg letting her smooth the hair back from his face, and he huffed out a brief laugh at her words. "I'm going to figure out how to get your magic working again. I don't think it's doing you any favors being cut off from who you are like this." The look of shock on his face would have been funny, if she didn't know the reason behind it.

"Why, are you afraid it's going to make me crazier to be without it?" Loki's tone was dry as he rolled his eyes up to meet hers.

Rose slowly shook her head, then made a sad face at him, "No, I don't think that's even possible."

Loki's eyes shot wide with outrage before he caught her teasing tone, then his mouth curved up in a reluctant smile. "I'm not sure what it says about your own sanity that you want to return unlimited power to a murderer."

Rose laughed, "Truer words have probably never been spoken. But I'm going to do it anyway." She leaned over and kissed his cheek, smiling at the look of shock on his face.

She'd kissed him, Loki thought. She knew what he'd done and …he couldn't help himself then, he kissed her back. Her grey eyes widened in surprise, then she returned the gift, brushing soft lips against his before he deepened the kiss, nipping at her bottom lip, licking into her mouth until they were both gasping.

Rose felt hot color burning her cheeks as she watched Loki give her a self-satisfied smirk, so she just had to kiss him again, didn't she? As they broke for air, she rubbed her cheek against his, then got to her feet and offered him a hand. "My bother is going to be here any minute; he's a much stronger healer than I am anymore, after we get you feeling better physically, then we can work on the magic part of it."

Loki was disgusted with how quickly his strength seemed to run out with his magic being inhibited, he had been able to do little other than lie down yet again and wait. Rose had told him her brother would be there soon, and while he did not want to meet him lying down, it seemed a better choice than falling on his face in front of him. That she had said her brother was more adept at healing than she was _anymore _was telling. That once, before the child had been murdered she was able to do as much. He had seen such things before of course. None were spared in times of war, and while rape of children had not been unheard of, only the very worst of animals would commit such an atrocity.

He wondered how the man had died. How she had killed him. If she ever regretted it.

Rose was sitting on the couch when her brother came in, he had a suitcase in each hand and a duffel bag over his right shoulder and all of them looked like they were bursting at the seams.

"Holy shit. Is there anything left at your place or did you just go ahead and bring everything you own?" Then she flung herself at him, letting her brother spin her around as best he could laden down with luggage.

"Don't bitch Rosie. You were the one said to bring clothes, food, and booze," Grady shoved a bag at her as he dropped the other two on the floor. "Take this, and I'm gonna grab the food-alcohol portion of this evenings entertainment. Then you can tell me why you have an alien in your room. You know, the guy that tried to destroy the world as we know it."

Rose grinned at him, she was only four years older, but no matter how much taller he was than her, he'd always be her _little_ brother, "Didn't you hear? It's what _all_ the cool kids are doing."

"C'mon, I think there was a rumor about food. Then you can meet the alien," she gave him a nudge. "Did you bring pizza?" Then she laughed at the snotty look he gave her.

"Don't doubt my powers little sis. Of course there's pizza."

"Pineapple and jalapeño?" she said hopefully.

"Is there really any other kind?" Grady yanked her in for another hug. "I've missed you, even if you are the world's biggest pain in the ass."

Loki had seen the photographs that she had, but was still surprised how much she and her brother looked amazingly alike. They would never be as he and Thor had while growing up when all and sundry remarked how dissimilar the two were. Grady had his curly dark-brown hair cut short, and they both shared the same large dove-grey eyes, but while Rose was short and well, curvy, her brother was tall and slim. Loki gave him a cool look and had the feeling that he was being sized up as well, for all he had acted friendly enough. He had expected for her brother to be more reserved, what with who his sister had in her bed, but he had kept up an easy flow of lighthearted stories about what he'd been doing in school and work.

After trying the pizza with both of them watching him curiously for his reaction (it had been surprisingly good). Neither one seemed surprised he liked the beer her brother had brought with him. Rose had protested him drinking it at first, but her brother called it "anesthetic", and after a brief mental argument between them you could _almost _hear, she had given in.

After they had cleared away the dishes Grady had asked to see his back, and Loki had rolled onto his stomach letting Rose peel back the bandages.

Grady's eyes widened with shock that he was glad the Norse god couldn't see. He'd hate to be turned into a cockroach because he couldn't keep his shit together any better than this. He'd grabbed his sister's hand, "Why was he beaten like this?"

Loki's voice was matter of fact as he spoke, "Odin thought that my reign had lasted long enough, and it was time to answer for my crimes." He turned his head to meet Grady's eyes. "Not all the people of Asgard are as you think them. If my … mother … had not begged for leniency, what was would have been done would make this seem naught but a scratch."

"But he's your _father_," Grady wasn't faking the horror in his voice.

"But he's not my father. Not really," Loki said quietly. He turned his head at the look of pity he was receiving and tried not to think on it.

Rose grabbed her brother by the shoulder, and gave him a look that had shut-the-hell-up written all over it. Grady gave her a raised brow, then proved his lack of stupidity by actually getting the hint.

"Okay, now go ahead and heal him, then I can tell you what else you can help me with," Rose gave Grady her most innocent smile. He gave her a frown, but nodded his head.

He held a hand up so Loki could see it, then slowly touched his shoulder. Grady's narrowed his eyes in concentration, and it started to work. Rose could see the skin and muscle re-knit itself when Grady pulled back with a yelp, shaking his hand like he'd been burned.

His grey eyes were wide as he gave a nervous laugh, "That didn't go quite like I expected it to."

"What the hell happened?" Rose asked. "It was working." She gave Loki a puzzled look.

Grady raised an eyebrow, "His magic may be suppressed, but trust me, it's there." He shook his hand as he spoke. "It didn't like me touching him like that." At Rose's look of confusion he elaborated, "Not as much a physical touch as a mental one. He rejected what his magic perceives as a threat."

"I did not-,'" Loki paused. "It was nothing I meant to do."

"No, it was more of an instinctual thing I think," Grady answered. "Shit. I want to try again."

Rose ignored the excited look on Grady's face at the idea of a challenge. "Then why did it work for me? I mean I couldn't heal the cuts directly, but could remove pain from him."

Grady his sister a grin, "Well, if I had to guess, either he doesn't look at you like a potential enemy, or he trusts you on some level." At the look of shock on both Loki and Rose's faces, he couldn't help but prod them a little, "More like your magic is compatible with his in some way that he recognizes."

Rose pretended like she hadn't heard that last part, "So heal him through me then."

"Are you sure that's the best idea?" Grady's tone said what a bad idea he thought it was.

"Yes, just do it Grade," she put her hand on Loki's shoulder, then held out her other one to her brother.

Grady nodded then gripped her hand tightly, and world erupted in white-hot pain that had her biting her lip until she tasted blood.

Loki saw all the color drain out of Rose's face, he started to pull back only to have her brother shake his head in negation.

"Don't. It's almost done and I'm not going to do this to her twice. She'll be fine," Grady's voice was hoarse, but steady enough as he spoke.

Rose watched the lash marks shrink until they were little more than angry red lines on Loki's pale skin before she pulled back. It would have to do because she was making a hollow pain-filled sound that had Loki giving her poor brother a look that promised bloody retribution. Then she lunged to her feet and ran for the bathroom, barely making the toilet in time to throw up everything she'd eaten for the last week. And possibly her spleen. God, it felt like someone had dipped all the nerves in her body in gasoline then lit them on fire. She felt gentle hands pull her hair back, and laughed weakly.

"Too late, I think I already shellacked it," she turned her head to meet Loki's confused eyes, and laughed again. "Somehow I bet this is a first for you." Then her eyes rolled up in her head as she passed out.


	4. Chapter 4

__Sorry it took so long to get this beast up. Real life's been making me it's bitch the last couple weeks!

Disclaimer: I still don't own Loki... is sad.

* * *

_"I knew nothing but shadows and I thought them to be real."_

~ Oscar Wilde

Loki carried Rose back to her room; when she fainted he'd barely caught her before she would have hit her head on the tile floor, and then she'd gone totally limp in his arms. The way her brother did not seem alarmed at all by this made Loki think that this was not an abnormal thing, and something in his chest pulled tight at the thought of her being hurt like this before.

Grady watched from couch as the God of Mischief carried Rose to her room (there was a phrase he never thought he'd use in a sentence) and lightly laid her down on the bed. He saw Loki frown as he pulled the blankets up and she moaned in her sleep, but what he thought was much more interesting was how gently the Norse god brushed her hair back from her face. He grinned at Loki's back, looked like Rose had made herself a friend.

"She'll be okay," Grady didn't flinch at the hostile look that Loki pinned him with as he spoke, but it was a near thing. It drove home in spades that _this_ was the being that not so long ago would have rather destroyed the world than live in it with humans. The only thing that kept him from being completely creeped the hell out was the fact that there was no way Rose would have helped him if she thought he was going to run right out and lay waste to the planet after he was back on his feet. Plus, he could always read his mind if he really needed to. Though in retrospect the way the healing had gone, he might end up scrambling both their brains instead.

"If you'd lay with her it would help," Grady snorted out a laugh at the shocked expression on Loki's face at his words. "Uh, not the way you're thinking. I meant to _sleep_, the other way."

Why would that be of any help to her?" Loki demanded suspiciously.

Grady shrugged, "Because your magic likes hers. It's magic. Just because. Pick a reason. You're over a thousand years old, you should know it doesn't always make sense."

Loki thought the boy had a point. Sometimes there was no rhyme or reason to the way magic reacted. It just _was_. "Why can she not heal as you are able to? She said that she had been able to at one point." It wasn't _exactly_ what Rose had told him, but he wanted to know.

Grady just raised a eyebrow at him, then gave him a slow smile, "Can't lie to a mind read, it's not my story to tell. You should really ask her about it."

Loki gave him a cool look and said, "But I am asking you." He gave Rose's brother a smile that was mostly teeth and waited.

"She told you about Katie?" Grady sighed as Loki nodded at him, "She killed the uncle. Exploded his heart and most of his brains for him." He rubbed a hand over his face, "She was a mess afterwards, mentally and physically. Then SHIELD got a hold of her. That prick Fury used her as a human lie detector and I think as their way to get rid of some _really_ bad guys without leaving any evidence behind. I mean heart-attacks and strokes are natural causes of death, right?" He looked at the blank television screen as if it were going to give him answers before speaking again, "She'd came home to stay with our parents, and … our mom has something of what we have." He pointed to his temple, indicating the mental ability they shared, "She was trying to help Rose, and Rose …well, long story short, Rose almost killed her. It wasn't on purpose, they'd gotten in an argument and she just lost control, but she damaged something in her brain and mom never recovered."

Grady stood up abruptly and started walking towards the kitchen, "Go check her will you?"

Loki wanted to snarl at him for giving him orders, but had seen the sheen of tears in the boy's eyes as he left the room, so he got up and checked on her without comment. It appeared she hadn't moved from where he'd laid her and he took a moment to study her as she slept. It would seem that they both had done things that they could never forgive themselves for, he thought. Then he slowly laid down on top of the blankets and wrapped an arm around her, and because she wouldn't know he let himself trace a finger over the delicate arch of her brow, starting when her breath ghosted over the back of his hand. He told himself that he felt nothing when she curled into him, she had her head tucked under his chin and he rubbed his cheek against the silk of her hair. He tightened his arms more securely around her thinking that he would allow himself this one moment of weakness.

Just this once, he told himself.

Rose felt better when she woke up. Other than a raging need to pee and a headache; which was _way_ toned down from the skull-splitter she had had earlier, she felt a lot better. It was still dark out, so it was either later the same day or she'd lost a day somewhere. After getting a shower, she pulled her hair back into a braid, brushed her teeth _a lot _to get the nasty taste out her mouth, put on her robe, and walked out to see Loki and Grady sitting on the couch drinking beer and watching the chest-burster scene in _**Alien**__. _She wondered about the movie choice, then saw the giant stack of videos that Grady had evidently piled up on the table with _**Avatar **_right on top. She gave it a quick shove and knocked it behind the end table. _So not going there, _she thought.

Rose just shook her head. It shouldn't have surprised her that Loki would get along with Grady, he was a tribble like that, everyone usually liked him. The movie choice seemed a tad odd, but what the hell, it had been a long day.

Loki looked completely disgusted, "Why do they not kill the parasite?" (The people on the t.v. screen looked on in shock as the little alien ran from the room) Then Loki pointed at the television, "Why would you humans think that a parasitic creature hatching out like that is entertainment?"

Grady shook his head, "I don't have a clue." He gave Loki a considering look, "You know it's probably for the same fucked-up reason people videotape babies being born." He took a long swallow of his beer, "I mean who wants to see their wife's vag stretched out like that? It's just gross."

Rose could see Loki turning over her brother's words, she had a feeling some of Grady's more colorful use of slang he wouldn't get, but she could tell the second he figured it out because his eyes widened slightly before he huffed out a laugh.

Dear God, she could only picture all the new things her brother could teach the people of Asgard if he ever visited there.

"How long was I out?" She noticed that Loki turned immediately at the sound of her voice, then looked away without saying anything. It left her wondering what her brother had been telling him, probably way more than she wanted him to, she thought with a sigh. Grady had evidently shown Loki where the shower was and had given him some different clothes, because he was wearing a black t-shirt and a pair of faded jeans.

Grady looked over his shoulder at the clock, "Only about three hours." He gave her an exaggerated thumbs up and a big shit-eating grin, "At least it wasn't three _days_ like last time. Way to shake it off."

Rose gave him a Charlie Sheen "winning" hand sign as she walked over, then the finger because taking crap from your little brother was never cool, and sat with them. Loki obligingly moved over for her, and Grady handed her his beer. Rose took a drink then shuddered, and covered her face with her hands "This part always scared the shit out of me." They watched as Tom Skerritt's character looked in the dark tunnels for the alien, and Rose peeked through her fingers just in time to see the alien attack. Then all three of them jumped.

Well, it had been almost a month and they'd all survived. Though Rose thought it was going to be a near thing for Grady when he'd asked Loki about the whole horse-myth thing. But it had been _really_ funny.

So Grady had been naturally curious about the god who was currently living with his sister, and had been reading Rose's book on mythology. His head popped up from the book, and he had looked horrified, "Oh my God, did you really fuck a horse? Cause that is some messed up shit if you did." He'd given Loki a considering look, "Well, unless you were a horse too …" His voice trailed off at the way Loki had turned away from the computer and was just staring at him with murder in his eyes, then he gave Loki an evil grin, "Nope, that's messed up no matter how you look at it."

Rose watched Loki as his eyes narrowed to green slits, and prayed that he wasn't going to turn Grady into a bloody smear on her floor.

"I did not. Fuck a horse," Loki had then gotten up and stalked from the room.

Rose snickered thinking about it, she supposed she should be grateful that he didn't have his magic back and her brother was still alive (and not turned into a lower form of life) and breathing.

Then the thing with the drinking happened. She was still impressed that they had lived through it.

Loki had said that alcohol on Midgard wasn't strong enough to get a god well and truly drunk, so Grady had naturally viewed it as a challenge and had given him some of the home-brew that their grandfather had made.

Rose had taken in the sight of her brother lying face-down on the floor and Loki sprawled out on the couch and just shook her head. The latter was pressing the heels of his hands to his temples like he'd been trying to keep his brains from falling out.

She'd nudged Grady with her toe. "What the hell did you give him to drink?" Grady hadn't answered aloud, just pointed in the direction of the plain brown bottle sitting on the table. "Dear God, it's a miracle you don't have brain damage."

At that Loki had dropped his hands and opened one horribly bloodshot eye, "I think that may be up for debate." He nodded in Grady's direction, "If I feel this badly, how is it he is even still alive?"

Rose shrugged helplessly and tried _really _hard not to laugh at the pained expression on Loki's face, "Because he's Grady."

Loki was starting to show flashes of the humor that Thor spoke of when he had first told her about him. He was curious about most everything that he hadn't encountered before and had read most of her extensive book collection, and it didn't matter _what _it was. Except possibly the mythology book that had vanished off the face of the earth (after the horse incident), when Grady had asked if they had seen it, Loki had adopted a look of angelic innocence as he denied culpability. Rose shuddered to think what her next bill would be like for cable, she thought that between the two of them they'd watched every movie in the world that Grady had thought was necessary for Loki to see. And they'd settled into a kind of weird routine, she and Grady would take turns cooking the meals, Grady had tried to teach Loki to cook (this idea had been met with a look of utter disdain) but hadn't had much luck. Loki kicked _both_ their asses on regular basis at chess; she'd beaten him _once, _but only by reading his mind and cheating as much as possible. She would have thought he'd have been pissed about it, but instead had seemed impressed by the devious amount of thought that she'd put into beating him. After Loki found out she had horses, they all went riding together. Rose took turns riding double with her brother and Loki, though when she rode with Loki she might have wrapped her arms around him tighter than she needed to when Bane had slid going down a steep hill. That was another thing. Bane, who was normally a total bastard to anyone new, had taken an instant liking to Loki that shocked her. Now if you couldn't find Loki, he was likely out with the horses.

Rose knew that Thor really believed that his brother would be better off without his magical abilities, at least for now, but she was really starting to disagree with it. Loki was lost without his sorcery; he never said anything to indicate how much it bothered him, but she saw the way he would reach for a spell and not be able to complete it, saw the look of utter frustration on his face that he was quick to cover up. It was making her more determined than ever to help him, which led to her next conversation with Grady.

"What do you think is the best way to get way to get his magic hooked up," she ignored the way Grady was bugging his eyes out at her in exaggerated horror at her words.

"Do you really think that's the best idea? If I remember right it was only a year ago that he was imprisoned after he blew up a town, and then tried to re-Hitler Germany."

"I know what it's like to be cut off from yourself like that," she held up a hand to hold off Grady's comment to that. "No, I _don't _want to talk about it. One problem at a time, okay?"

"Alright, alright, but you're going to have to be the one to talk him into letting his guard down enough for me to read him and see what's blocking him." Grady's face got serious again, "I don't think that whatever block that was put on his magic is the issue anymore, I think that he's fighting it."

"But why? You can see he's lost without out it." Rose shook her head.

"Best guess? He's afraid of something," Grady gave Rose a deliberately blank look, "I'd think that you could relate to that." He grinned at his sister then, "Let me know how the talk about me reading his mind goes."

Not real well was the answer to that. They had tried together, until it was obvious that Loki would not relent about letting Grady do anything at _all_ to him that related to reading his thoughts. Grady had thought that Rose would have better luck on her own (sticking with his statement that Loki's magic had an affinity for hers) and had gone back to WVU, so he didn't miss any more classes. So now it was just Rose and Loki again, and tensions were running high.

Loki could feel his magic just under the surface of his consciousness , and like a slippery fish it kept twisting its way out of his grasp. Rose had explained that she and her brother were going to try and help him (though he could not understand why) and they _did _try. Grady had said that he thought he had blocked himself off from it, and the only thing hindering him, was Loki himself. The idea was ludicrous of course, but he had tried to access it until the pain of trying had made it feel like his head was going to split in two. The look of sympathy that Rose had given him was almost his undoing, and it had taken more effort than it should have not to lash out in her in blind fury. Not that she hadn't picked the errant thought from his mind and given him a stony look in turn. Loki smiled at the memory, there were times he thought the people of Midgard were fortunate that Rose did not have god-like powers herself because she might well have razed it to the ground in a fit of temper herself.

He watched the snow continue to fall out the window and heard the sound of Rose coming in the front door. Loki turned to see her struggle with a load of firewood and silently crossed the room and took it from her, ignoring her words of thanks and stacked it by the fireplace. The cold had pinkened her cheeks and she gave Loki a smile that made him forget himself and smile at her in turn before he could stop himself. Then he just stood and stared as she held her hand out to him, until his confusion boiled over and he couldn't bear it anymore and he asked her the question that had been preying on his mind for weeks.

"I do not understand why you would help me like this," he said softly. He knew he sounded like a petulant child that kept asking "_why_" but he did not understand the reasoning behind it at all. He had almost destroyed her world and yet this mere slip of a girl treated him as if he had … value … to her. And he did not understand _why._

Rose just continued to hold her hand out to him, likening it to approaching a half-wild animal. They remembered enough from their life before that some part of them longed for the contact, but after being too long alone was still wary enough to be suspicious of it as well.

"I think I have an idea that will work this time," she said smiling at him. She could see the suspicion in his eyes and finally exasperated, said, "Now give me your damn hand and quit being such a drama-prince."

She knew he didn't get the exact meaning of the slang term, but obviously _"chicken" _translated itself in any language, because he took her hand and yanked her against him, making her laugh at the affronted look on his face. Then she stood on her tiptoes and cradled his face in her hands and watched his green-eyes widen in disbelief, and then she kissed him.

Loki drew back in shock and just stared down her. Rose's grey-eyes were sparkling with mirth and her cheeks were still pink from the cold, and despite all his misgivings he kissed her back. For a minute all he could feel was the warmth of her mouth under his, and the warm affection in her mind that she felt for him.

Loki broke the off kiss as he realized that he'd read _her _mind, and then it was like he stepped off the edge of the world. His magic returned with a rush that sizzled along his nerve-endings, making him cry out with the pleasure-pain of it. He dimly heard Rose calling his name as collapsed to his knees, then the world faded to black.

Rose had felt his magic return in surge that set her teeth on edge, and thought for a second that it had killed him until she saw the steady rise and fall of his chest. She closed her eyes in relief, then leaned over and kissed his cheek. Then his eyes popped open scaring a surprised shriek out of her. Loki sat up wild-eyed and staring at her like he'd never seen her before as she slowly reached out and ran her fingers along the side of his face, then froze in place as he captured her hand in his. Rose had a wild urge to laugh at the look on his face, the green in his eyes was nothing but a thin ring around his dilated pupils. She kept waiting for him to say something (like far-out or this is some good shit) but he said nothing as he mutely studied her fingers like he'd never seen a hand before. She couldn't resist and tugged her hand free and cupped his cheek in her hand, brushing her thumb over his mouth. He leaned into her touch with a soft sigh as he closed his eyes, and she got a brief flash of his thoughts, of how alone he felt. And she leaned in and kissed him, opening her mind wide to his, letting him feel how much she wanted him and his green-eyes shot wide with surprise.

Then Loki pulled her to him, licking a wet line from her collarbone to her mouth, nipping at her bottom lip as she tangled her fingers in his hair and then pulled her in for a kiss.


	5. Chapter 5

__Warning: Thar be smut ahead! So if that's not your thing, might want to skip this chapter.

Disclaimer: Still own nothing.

* * *

_"Remember tonight, for it is the beginning of always."_

Danté Alighieri

Loki moaned as Rose tangled her hands in his hair while he kissed her, and for just a moment let himself forget, and then the enormity of what he'd just done hit with all the force of a fist to the heart. This was not who he was. He was not _Thor_ to become enamored with a mortal. Yet to his mortification, he was almost shaking with the desire to pull Rose closer still, closer until there was no Loki, no Rose, just the promise of what could be.

"This cannot happen," his hands were wanting to tremble and he cursed himself for the weakness. He could not have this, not now, not ever. If she knew what he really was, what he had done, she would, she would-

"Loki," Rose touched his arm. "It will be alright."

She caught his hand in hers and the kindness in her eyes almost undoes him completely, and he pushes it all away, pushes away what she offers him, because he cannot have this, "You will contact Thor and have him come and retrieve me. There is no point for me to continue to stay here with you." He puts as much contempt in his voice as he can muster, "What could you possibly help me with? I am Loki of Asgard and I-"

"Am filled with glorious purpose?" Rose said dryly. "Next thing you're going to do is ask me to kneel, right?" She got to her feet and offered him a hand, which he ignored in favor of glaring at her, green eyes almost black with rage. "You're going to have to try harder, Zod. The whole kneel-before-me thing has been done before."

She sighed as he just remained stubbornly silent, "I get it Loki. I get it-"

"You _get_ nothing! You _are_ nothing! You are nothing to one such as I," Loki shot to his feet and turned on his heel, stalking from the room without looking back.

Rose heard the front door slam so hard that she was amazed he hadn't knocked it out of the frame. "Well shit, that went well." She gave the door a sour look, "Stubborn ass."

Loki walks out into the snow, wishes not for the first time that Thanos had killed him. Or that Odin would have not decided to just to punish him and had executed him instead, but of course, there could be no messy scandal for the royal family. Then he huffs out a laugh, thinking that truly there could be little more shocking than the fact the second son of Asgard was one such as he, a bastard son of the Aesir's mortal enemies.

Better to lock away the animal than to have him brought before the golden glory of Asgard.

Better to hide him in the dungeons than to admit that Odin had brought a monster into their midst.

Loki bent down and gathered a handful of snow and then he let his normally pale skin bleed to Jötunn blue. He doesn't know who he hates more, the monster that lives under his skin or Odin for revealing the lie to him.

Monster.

Rose heard Loki come back in, then the sound of the bathroom door shutting and the shower coming on. But after a minute of feeling odd flashes of pain from him, she got up and knocked lightly on the door and got no response. Rose deliberated, then opened the door with a shrug. How much angrier could he get at her right now, she thought as she walked into the warm, steam of the bathroom. Then she frowned at the wave of heat coming from the shower, it felt like he was trying to cook the flesh from his bones.

"Loki," she called his name softly, then pulled up short at the sight of him sitting huddled on the floor of the shower with all his clothes still on. He had his head resting on his knees and was shuddering like he was freezing despite the too hot water. She could feel the heat coming off the water, and knew that if he'd been mortal it would have meant a night in the hospital. Rose reached in and turned the temperature to a bearable level, then walked in and sat next to him, leaning her head against his shoulder.

"C'mon, we need to talk," she said as she stroked the wet hair back from his face. "And yeah, I know you don't want to, but humor me." She stood up and offered him a hand, which of course he ignored and got to his feet. Then she watched open-mouthed as his clothes shifted while he walked and his hair was suddenly dry.

"Magic is so cool," she said with a grin.

Loki turned and gave her a surprised look, "Most do not think so. On Asgard, it is a thing to be wary of."

"Well, now you're with me and _I _think it's pretty cool," she gave him a questioning look. "Can you make my clothes dry too?"

Truly shocked now, but oddly pleased, Loki complied and tried not to notice when Rose beamed a smile at him as she walked over and sat at the table.

"I know that our lives aren't the same, that we aren't the same, I killed people when I was working for SHIELD, they weren't good people, they'd done terrible things, but I still killed them," Rose blurted out. God, she hated talking about this, but she needed _him_ to see _her_, see her as she was. Not that their situations were the same, but that the fact they had both done things that they could not forgive themselves for.

She knew she had his attention, could feel his awareness even though he still refused to look at her, "When I went home, when my mom…," Rose saw Loki turn to look at her then, "I _wanted_ to hurt her." Her voice turned brittle as she spoke, "She was telling me everything that I didn't want to hear, and I wanted her just to shut up, to leave me alone. I didn't want to hear about wrong or right. I was so angry then, angry that I couldn't save Katie, angry that Nick kept showing me these horrible things that I couldn't stop." Rose gave bitter laugh, "I was sorry afterwards, would have given anything to take it back, but there was no going back. My dad hasn't spoken to me since we found out she'd never recover. Grady tried to heal her and couldn't do anything. Hell, I tried, but ever since I … ever since Katie, my healing ability has been fucked up, and I look back and I wonder now if I made it worse."

Loki sneered at her, even though part of him had gone hollow at the pain he heard in her voice. "So what is the lesson that I am supposed to learn from your little story? That "sorry" makes everything alright again?"

"If a monster to _you_ is someone that tries to kill a parent and slaughters the masses, then what would you call _me_?" Rose gives him a pointed look.

"You think to compare yourself to me? I am a God! Your life has been but the blink of an eye and yet you dare to-" Loki's face is flushed with anger, and he thinks that now he is the one being told things he does not want to hear. Again.

Rose gave a shriek of frustration, then laughed in spite of herself at the surprised look Loki gave her, "No, I'm not saying we're the same, that's not what I meant."

Loki glanced at her warily, "They lied to me over and over again with their silence. You do not understand. To the Aesir, the Jötunn are no better than animals. They _are _animals, they are the _things _that would come for you in the night if you misbehaved as a child."

He licked suddenly dry lips and found he could bear not look at her, the understanding in her grey-eyes would surely unman him, "You would not understand, there is nothing to compare it to on Midgard."

Rose snorted, "If you think that Asgard is the only place to put a social stigma on people for being different from the norm, then you really have lived a sheltered life."

"What else wasn't acceptable on Asgard? Let me guess. Men that can do magic?" She held up a lock of curly dark hair, "People that aren't blonde with blue eyes? People that want to be different?" She gestured to herself, "How about short girls?"

"All I'm trying to say is that while there could be less blowing shit up and death and destruction, you're not a monster." Rose wanted to hug him, the look on his face was so forlorn.

"Show me," she said softly. "Your Jötunn form."

Loki slowly turned to face her with a look of horror, and all the color drains from his face, "_What _did you say?"

"Show me. Shapeshift. If I freak out and run away screaming then you can be right and I'll call Thor, and you can leave, but if I don't then we get to try things my way." She gave Loki a narrow-eyed look, "And that means no going back on your word."

Loki could feel his heart start pounding in his chest as he watched Rose, she had no idea at all what she was asking of him, "You would truly call Thor after I have done this?" At her nod, he took a deep breath as he closed his eyes. He knew that when she saw him as he really was nothing would ever be the same, and when he opened them again knew that they'd gone from green to blood-red.

She knew he was waiting for something from her, for her to react with horror, with the disgust he felt for himself. For her to turn her back on him, as he so obviously expected her to do. Rose saw his dark-red eyes widen almost comically as she walked slowly over to stand in front of him, then carefully reached out to gently run a fingertip over the raised lines on his face. She traced each one individually while he stood shuddering under her hands, then Loki moaned deep in his throat as something inside of him just _broke_, and he wrapped his arms around her, and buried his face against her neck. She kissed the marks on his temple, wringing another soft sound from him as she tried to show him without words all that he was coming to mean to her.

"Loki," she whispered his name against his skin, feeling him shiver under her hands, then felt a subtle wave of magic as he shifted back to his Asgardian form.

Loki found himself unable to look at her. He was the God of Lies, but if this girl was trying to deceive him, he did not _want_ to know, wanted to revel in the fact she did not seem disgusted by his appearance. He could feel her in his mind like a soft, warm glow, he had shown her the horror that he became and instead of recoiling in disgust, she had embraced him instead. Foolish mortal girl. He should put her away from him right now, he who had always prided himself on his ability to not need anything from anyone, but the calm acceptance she gave him was a lure he could not resist, so he kept Rose tucked against him. Surely there could be no harm in it.

Rose smiled against Loki's chest, then tipped her face up so she could look him in the eyes, "You're mine now Trickster." She laced her fingers with hers tugging him towards her bedroom, and laughed at the exaggerated sigh he gave, "I want to treat the cuts on your back again."

"Is it still hurting?" She ignored the mutinous look that Loki was giving her and just pointed to the bed. "Lay down. Please? I just want to help," Rose gave him a wide-eyed pleading look that she knew he didn't buy the sincerity of for a minute. Can't lie to a liar, she thought. She picked up the bottle that was sitting on the dresser, and shook it so he could hear the sloshing sound of the liquid inside. "I want to use some of this on it. Come on, there's a fire so the room's really warm." Then she watched him roll his eyes at the cajoling note in her voice, but he did as she asked, tugging his shirt off over his head. "This will help keep the skin from pulling as it continues to heal," then she grinned at the disgusted look he gave her.

Loki flopped face down on the bed, then at the first touch of her hands bit back a groan. _Why_ did he think that the girl's hands on him was going to be a good idea? It might actually be one of the worst ideas he'd ever had, and over a millennia a being could have many. Rose ran oil-slicked hands gently over the marks on his skin, stroking her fingers along his spine, then started kneading the tight muscles of his shoulders. Loki heaved a deep sigh, then just gave in and let himself enjoy the feel Rose's hands on him, though it _was_ making him start to think that they would feel equally enjoyable on other parts of his body as well. It had been a very long time indeed since he had taken a lover and after the kiss they had shared (he still wasn't sure how he'd let that happen) it seemed to occupy entirely too much space in his thoughts. He was saved from disgracing himself further by the brush of her fingers along his side that made him make an undignified noise that could have been called a squeak in a lesser being. He felt a flash of humor from Rose, and because she couldn't see his face Loki let himself smile, and stifled a laugh into the pillow.

Rose knew that Loki was desperately trying not to laugh, beneath his dignity and all that, so she deliberately ran her fingertips up both sides of his ribs, making him yelp. She felt his whole body tense up in anticipation, then she tickled him in earnest until he collapsed with laughter before he twisted in her grip, turning them so she was pinned underneath him.

Loki shifted his hold on her hands so he had both of her wrists in one hand, then wiggled his fingers at her. Rose was already giggling before he even touched her, the unholy light shining in his bright green eyes telling her he was going to make her pay. Then she shrieked when he walked his long fingers up her sides.

Rose thrashed trying to break loose, but was going nowhere, "No more, no more! I give up." Then dissolved into a fit of laughter again as he nipped playfully at her neck, growling as he did it. Loki grinned down at her as she twisted trying to get free, and then he dropped all his weight on her, squashing her flat to the bed with a huff of laughter.

"You should truly know better than to wage war against a god. You are but a little mortal girl and I-"

Rose cut him off, "Am going to get some sleep. You look exhausted."

Loki gave her a scornful look, but he _did _let Rose rest her head against his shoulder and even though he _really _wanted to balk at it, he lets her keep her mind linked with his. It seemed so very odd to him, he had had lovers that were not as connected as he was to Rose, and beyond a kiss, he had not touched her. This mental connection though, it laid one bare down to your soul and … Loki watched as she took his hand, wrapping her fingers around his and slowly felt himself start to relax. Lulled by the warm comfort of the girl, he could feel the baffling affection she felt for him and eventually he slept.

And dreamt yet again of pain.

_"Little Liesmith, did I not tell you what would happen if you failed me? Did I not say that you would beg for something as sweet as pain? That you would long for death?" _

And oh, Loki does. Long before they are done with him he is soaked with his own blood and tears are drying on his face, and his voice is a broken rasp from screaming. They have returned him to his cell where the cold darkness makes him shiver, makes him long for the warmth and comfort he had found with his little mortal. And when he rests his head on his knees he thinks of her and longs for home, and for the first time it is not Asgard that he thinks of when he thinks of home. Because home, now, is wherever Rose is.

Then, as in the way of dreams, it shifts and he is once again on Asgard and watches in mute horror as Thanos burns it all down. Then the dream shifts again and he is standing on the Bifröst, and sees Odin and Thanos come together in a clash of weapons and magic that makes the very ground quake. Loki has all the time in the world to see them crash into Rose as they battle, taking her over the edge of bridge with them, and she is just … gone.

When he awakes with a gasp and a pounding heart, Loki knows that was not just a dream, but he hopes it was not a true foretelling. He remembers the grief of it tearing at him, and glances at the sleeping mortal next to him. No, not sleeping. He can see the shine of her grey eyes in the dim light from the fire. There is no use trying to hide it from her, because he knows that it was _his_ distress that called to her even in dreams and had woken her.

Loki lets Rose pull him to her, the remnants of the dream clinging to him, and oh, he wants this, wants _her_. She is startling warm from sleep and he rolls them over so she is on top of him, and wraps his arms around her.

Rose sits up and looks down at Loki, she had felt the terror that had woken him, and right now all she can think to do is try and hold him to the here and now, so she kisses him. He stays passive under her hands and she wants that gone, so she moves down and kisses and licks a warm, wet line down his chest to his stomach. And when he sucks in a breath, she smiles against his skin, and tugs his pants over his lean hips. She lets her hair drag over him as she nips at his hipbone, then looks up and sees him watching her with wide-eyes. It puzzles her until she remembers that she's seen him turn blue earlier and then she understands the startled look. So she opens her mind wide to his, lets him feel how much she wants him as she wraps her hand around him, then takes him into her mouth, feeling him gasp at the sensation.

Loki flung his head back with a strangled moan as Rose runs her tongue down the length of his cock, and takes him in her mouth, and the feeling (that she would do such a thing. With him!) overwhelms him. He has not lain with anyone for longer than he cares to remember, now there is only Rose, and he had not thought to ever be with a woman who knew his truth. He is painfully hard and she does something with her tongue as she pulls his length into her mouth again that sends a shiver down his spine and makes his breath come short. He pulls her up and kisses her messily before flipping her on her back, grinning at her as she laughs up at him. He feels a flash of disappointment from her and tries to explain, "I want to bury myself inside you, until you are mine in all ways."

He kisses her again, licking at her full bottom lip and into her mouth, until she is moaning for him, then fills his big hands with her breasts. For all that she is slim and slight in stature, this is something about her that is not small, so his runs his thumbs over her nipples, then kisses his way down her stomach. Licks the slick skin of the scar tissue that runs it's way across her ribs, across the soft skin of her stomach, and thinks if she had not killed the man, he would for daring to ever touch her. Loki rubs a finger gently against her, feeling how wet she is for him, then curves one inside her and runs his thumb over her clit before closing his lips over her and sucks and licks at her until she gasps and tosses her head back, then crooks a long finger against the perfect spot inside her and she comes apart, saying his name again and again.

That is the moment that Rose loses control entirely, and when she comes, Loki feels it all. Her pleasure becomes his, and he is helpless against the sensation, and he can wait no more, and fills her with one long thrust. Loki feels Rose tense against him, she is almost unbearably tight and hot and he wants her more than he can remember wanting anyone. So he waits until she opens her eyes again, waits until she relaxes against him before he begins to move, slowly at first to give her time to get used to the feel of him, until she starts tipping her hips up to meet his thrusts and he can hold on no longer and just buries himself inside her as hard and fast as he can until he feels her muscles tighten and she shudders. Loki bites her where her neck and shoulder meet, branding her on the outside, while he comes inside her with a blinding rush that leaves his breathless. He rolls them over and pulls her back to his chest and kisses her cheek, licks the mark her made on her neck and basks in the sensation of her in his arms. And Loki, who had given up everything, wishes they could stay locked in this moment of time forever.


	6. Chapter 6

__Warning: This chapter contains graphic sex, some violence and an assisted death scene. (But not all at the same time, 'cause that is too messed up even for me)

Disclaimer: Still own nothing! Meh!

* * *

_"In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you."_

~Oscar Wilde

Loki pulled Rose back against his chest as they sat in the warm, wet water. She had said she was going to take a bath and then had given him a mischievous smile and asked if he'd ever had a bubble bath. Loki had thought the idea rather ridiculous at first, but had to admit that having Rose's lush body, wet and naked against him made him smile with contentment.

"What's so funny?" Rose tilted her head back to look at him, and when Loki just grinned at her, she twisted around to straddle him, running wet hands up his neck to cup his face in her hands. His bright green eyes darken with some emotion she can't name, "You're thinking too hard. You should kiss me instead."

Loki feels himself harden in a rush that leaves him shaking, because he can feel how much she wants him. So he pulls her against him until she can feel what she has wrought and complies, kissing her until they are both breathless and Rose eases down on him. It is odd to feel what another does Loki thinks, especially during sex, because the sensations are so foreign to him. He feels the stretch, the almost pleasure/pain that she feels while taking him inside of her and the tight heat of her against his cock at the same time, and then she moves in a way that has him strangling back a moan, and for a time he thinks no more as she rides him until water is sloshing over the sides of the bathtub and he tangles her hair in his hands, whispering her name against her wet skin.

Later, Rose looks around the house as she makes them dinner (she had told Loki that she was starving and is making steak and pasta) because surely all this sex is burning more calories than a marathon. That's when it occurs to her that in the last few days, they have had sex on pretty much any available surface in her house. The steak is grilling, so she cuts up fruit for a salad, and when Loki comes in the kitchen, and all she can think about is getting him naked again. When he walks over to her she holds up a piece of pineapple for him, and he sucks her fingers in his mouth along with the fruit. Rose watches him for a second, her mind going blank then drops to knees and yanks at the laces on his leather pants, and pulls him out, finding him already half hard and sucks him into her mouth. She tugs on his pants until she has room to cup his balls in her cool hands as she takes him as deep in her mouth as she can. Then she runs her tongue up the thick vein on the underside of his cock and can feel his legs shake as he stiffens in her mouth and then tries to pull away.

Loki moans her name, and tries to pull back, but Rose digs her nails in his ass and pulls him closer and takes him as deep in her mouth as she can, over and over again, until he comes in a rush that has his legs quivering, and is barely able to stand. She looks up at him with a smirk, then Loki yanks her up and tosses her over his shoulder as he walks back to the bedroom and tosses her on the mattress so that she bounces while she laughs at him. Or maybe it is the fact that his pants have slid down to his knees as he walked and are tripping him now, that has her laughing. Either way, he does not care and thinks he could get used to Rose smiling at him like that, and realizes that he has allowed himself to hope.

Dinner is only slightly burned when they get around to eating it.

That night Loki has another dream, and as it is in the way of dreams, he is helpless to do anything other than watch it play out.

Rose is dressed in the way of the women of Asgard, but she is wearing _his_ colors, marking her as his for all to know, and the green and gold gown is glorious on her. Her dark hair is pulled back, but hangs loose in long curls that come to the middle of her back. He knows the minute she becomes aware of him watching her, because she drops the glass she was holding and runs to him. They all know what he is, what he becomes, but Rose runs to him, and has never cared what anyone else has thought, and he is hers, and will ever be hers.

He loves her.

That is the moment he sees that the front of her gown is drenched in blood, then all he can see is how the crimson color slicks his hands. Rose's grey eyes fill with tears, "I'm so sorry Loki." And she is gasping for breath as he begs her not to leave him. But she does, and he holds her until her body grows as cold as the heart in his chest, and Loki looks at the gathering crowd as they watch and say, "That is what happens when you love a monster."

Then he is once again on the Bifröst watching Asgard burn again, as Thanos promises him all he could ever want; power, respect, all the realms united under his rule as king. All Loki can think of is he would give it all up for just one more day with her.

He sees Thanos drag her before him and then he guts her in one brutal move, and he can only stand and watch as she dies once again.

And then it is Loki who is torturing Rose, and she screams and begs for him to stop, and then he debases her in the mess of her own blood and laughs while he does it.

Loki wakes them both up screaming and when Rose touches his shoulder he makes a sound like a wounded animal, and cringes away from her, from the gentle touch of her hands and the concern in her eyes, because he will _not_ be the death of her.

"What is it? What did you see this time?" Rose keeps her voice low, and calm because she can see that Loki is about one step away from bolting from the room, and when she touches his arm he flinches. His green eyes are huge as he gasps for breath, and she can see the shudders that wrack him. She moves slowly so she doesn't set him off again, and carefully cups his face in her hand and runs her thumb along his cheek, and he leans into the comfort she offers and closes his eyes for a minute.

Loki grabs her by the arms so suddenly it's almost a blur of speed and says, "No matter what Rose," his voice breaks at this, so he clears his throat and tries again. "No matter what happens, I will never hurt you. I would never hurt you, I promise you."

Loki crushes her against him and Rose can feel the sweat drying on his skin, and how cold he feels, how he shudders under her hands, and how frantic the beat of his heart still is.

"Loki," she says his name low and firm until she gets him to look at her. "It was a dream, Loki." Rose takes his hand and puts it over her heart so he can feel the rhythm of it, "I'm alright, nothing's happened. I know you would never hurt me." And she pours all the love she feels for him into the link between them.

Loki just blinks at her, and he looks altogether bewildered, so she says it out loud, "I love you." Rose cups his face in her hands and says it again, watching his green eyes pop wide at her words, "I love you."

Loki hears the words that she is saying to him, and while he understands the meaning, he just can't wrap his mind around it. She loves him? How can she love him?

"How can you love me?" he demands. "You have seen what I have done to your world. Seen what I have done to my- to Asgard." He corrects the near slip of the tongue and continues. "I am a liar, and a murderer and a _Frost Giant_. So what exactly is it that you love?" Loki turns to his Jötunn form and thinks that this, at last, (a monster in her bed) will stop this foolish talk.

But he should have known that because it was Rose, she would never do as he expects her to.

A part of her wants to shake Loki to make him see sense, she could care less what color he turns, in fact the combination of the blue skin and the raised markings on his skin gave her a couple ideas that would probably send him screaming from the room if she said them out loud.

"If all the things you say are true, then I wouldn't want you, would I? You can read my mind as easily as I can yours, so do it." She raises an eyebrow at him, and can see the indecision in his eyes. So she projects as hard as she can to him that she wants him, that he, Loki, matters to her just as he is.

So she raises herself up on her knees and kisses him, keeping her mind locked with his, could feel him waiting for her to come to her senses and smiles against his lips. Then she runs her fingers over the markings on his skin, marveling at the silky texture of them. Loki inhaled sharply at the sensation, but stays oddly passive under her hands letting her do as she wants. But oh, she can feel him waiting for her to reject him.

Rose takes his unresisting hand in hers, letting her fingers ghost over the lines on his arm, then licks along the pulse point on his wrist and feels his heartbeat leap against the palm she places on his chest.

It is one of the few times that Loki finds his power of speech has abandoned him, and he literally has no idea what to say to her. Her pale skin alongside the loathsome Jötunn blue is a stunning contrast and he knows he should push her away, she should not sully herself with him, but he finds he lacks the will to stop her. He _wants _her to touch him, _wants_ to feel her soft hands tracing the lines on his skin, that feel oh-so-sensitive right now.

Rose continues her exploration of the patterned ridges that decorate his chest and arms like sigils of a long-forgotten time. Loki is oddly quiet, but she feels him stifle a moan as she runs a fingernail down the line on his chest, then her smile turns wicked as she traces the line again with her mouth.

Loki feels a wave of longing for her that is only partly bound in lust as Rose licks his stomach, and pulls the sheet slowly down, and his over-sensitized skin is making it hard for him to breathe. He licks suddenly dry lips, as he tries one last time to get the girl to see sense, "I'm not sure that this is-" That is all he gets out before she is following the lines on his cock with her tongue and Loki is lost to the sensation.

And he can't _stand_ it anymore, he yanks her up his body and onto her back and drives himself inside her in one hard thrust that makes her yelp in shock. Loki tries to make himself be still, to give her time to adjust to him, but he is shivering with _want_. He needs to move, to mark her, so all know that she is his. Then he feels delicate muscles tighten as Rose arches her back with cry, and Loki feels her orgasm roar through his mind as her body shudders under him. Then he is shoving himself into her hard enough he knows it will bruise her, but is helpless to fight it. Rose tangles her fingers in his hair as she kisses him, and the tight wet heat of her against the raised lines on his cock has him moaning helplessly into her mouth, and the pleasure of it is almost excruciating, but he needs _more. _He pulls out, ignoring Rose's startled protest and turns her onto her stomach, grabbing her hips as he pulls her hard against him, and plunges inside the searing heat of her body. Again and again and again, until he feels Rose tense once more and he can feel her shatter around him again, and with a desperate cry he bites her neck, holding her tightly in place against him as he empties himself inside her, and follows her over the edge.

Rose collapses on her stomach and the weight of Loki crushes her into the mattress as he falls on her, and she hopes he moves soon, because she's not sure she can and she'll probably need to breathe soon. And then she starts to laugh.

Loki felt Rose shaking underneath him, and shame rolls through him in a black wave that wants to drown him. He hurt her. Hurt her and now she is crying because he rutted on her like an animal. He quickly moved off of her, shifting back to his Asgardian form as he does so and braces himself as he turns her over and see she is … laughing?

"You are not hurt?" Loki studies her as she looks up at him blankly.

Rose quits laughing because she can feel how worried he is, but can't help smiling at him. "I can honestly say I've never felt better." Loki studies her carefully for a minute before giving her an almost shy smile, and then she sits up and hugs him tightly, whispering that she loves him against his skin.

Loki pulls her against his chest as they lay together, and then gathers his courage to ask her the question that had been plaguing him ever since she'd seen him first turn into his Jötunn form.

The words come out before he can stop them.

"Rose," Loki said hesitantly. "What do I feel like to you?" As she tilts her head to the side and looks at him curiously, he swallows down the apprehension and keeps going, has to know. "Do I feel different than others?"

Rose smiles at him as she answers, "Of course you do." She sees Loki flinch and close his eyes, and then she gets it. He wanted to know if she could tell he was different as in, "Can you tell I'm monstrous?"

"It's your magic. It feels like sunshine in my mind." At this, he turns to look at her, and Rose sees the doubt shining in his eyes. "You know at the end of winter when you first feel the warmth of the sun of spring on your face? It's like that, Loki."

She holds her palm up, and he slowly mirrors the move with his own hand, then lets their fingers lace together.

Rose thinks that she can't remember the last time she was this happy, so naturally the next day her world falls apart.

She knows that she should have seen this coming from miles away, but of course she is still blindsided when Grady shows up and tells her that they're bringing their mother home to die.

Rose feels numb. She feels raw and exposed, and wishes yet again like a child that there is some way to take it all back. But there isn't, there never will be, so she goes to get dressed so she can go home one last time.

Grady looked exhausted as he spoke "Loki, will you come with us? I know she won't ask you to, it's never been her way, but I think she's better off with you there."

Grady abruptly cuts off what he was saying, and Loki watches Rose walk out of her bedroom, she'd changed into a dark-green sweater and a pair of jeans that she'd tucked into brown leather boots, and Loki thinks she looks very young, and frightened.

"You ready to go?" Grady asks her.

Rose just nods silently, then turns to Loki, "We should be back-"

"I would like to come with you if that would be acceptable." Loki sees hers eyes glitter with tears at his words, and feels the grief that she's barely holding at bay. But she gives him a grateful smile nonetheless, and holds her hand out to him.

It is a long, mostly silent ride to their parent's house, and while Loki finds he intensely dislikes this means of transportation, he will stay by her side, because she has stayed by his.

Grady tells him that they have brought their mother home because it was thought that she would have wanted to be with her family. He meets Rose and Grady's aunt, and a cousin that both seem kind, though they look at him with curious eyes. When Rose's aunt hugs first Rose, then himself, he is startled at the contact, but he allows it. Though the speculative look on her face makes him wonder if she has the ability to sift thoughts as well.

He can feel the maelstrom of emotions trying to drown Rose, so he reaches for her hand before he can think better of it. He can feel how afraid she is, the self-loathing she feels, and realizes for the first time that Rose thinks _she_ is the true abomination, not him. And when her father comes in the room he finds out why.

"Dad, I'm -" and that all she gets out before her father crosses the room in three long strides, then slaps her so hard it splits her lip and knocks her down. Loki reacts instantly and grabs the man's hand, he thinks how easy it would be to kill him for daring to hit her but Grady pushes between them.

"Goddamnit!" Grady shoves his father back farther from Loki. "_**Enough. **_She's suffered _enough, _and you will let her say goodbye to Mom."

Loki helps Rose to her feet and wipes the blood from her lip, and seriously considers killing her father. He _will_ kill him if he tries to touch her again. He sees Rose pick this thought out of his head, and at first she starts laughing, making everyone stare at her in surprise, but it quickly turns to tears.

Rose thinks that up until this point, she'd been keeping her shit (mostly) together, but the combination of her dad hitting her like that, and Loki thinking how much he'd like to kill him … and that's when she just breaks down laughing, because it's _awful_ and then she's sobbing. The sheer amount of rage and _God_, the _hate_, her father feels makes her want to run and run and never come back.

Her voice is hoarse, but steady when she speaks, "I'm going to see Mom, and then I will leave. But I _am _going to see her. After that if you never want to see me again, I do understand." Her father remains silent and she remembers when he used to love her.

Rose turns towards the room where her mother is, and the only thing keeping her sane right now is Loki. She can feel him in her mind, and then he takes her hand because the sight of her mother like this is _unbearable_, and she makes a sound in the back of her throat that has Loki tightening his grip on her, and his green eyes ask her if she wants to leave. And she does. But she can't.

Loki sees the emaciated figure on the bed, can see the shape of Rose's face in her bones, the dark brown hair is streaked with grey, but the wild curls are the same. He can feel no life in her mind, there is the push of lungs and the beat of her heart, but the person inside is gone.

The woman on the bed can't be her mother. It just can't be. The last time she'd seen her had been months ago, but she was just a wasted shell of who she used to be. So Rose climbs on the bed with her mother, and lies down with her, taking her hand and kisses her cheek one last time. She tells her mom how much she loves her, and then she says goodbye. Because this ends today, no matter how much her dad hates her, no matter if it's murder, because it's the worst kind of suffering. She raises her head up when Grady sits on the opposite side of the bed, and she knows he's crying, and then together they stop their mother's heart from beating.

Rose holds Grady afterwards like she did when they were young and he was hurt or afraid. She does not cry, cannot cry, does not deserve the solace of tears.

Rose asks Loki to teleport them home afterwards, her father wouldn't let her stay even if she's wanted to, and she wants, _needs_, to be home. So she walks straight to her room and lays down on the bed, not even bothering to kick off her boots.

Loki watched Rose as she laid down on her bed, and fought a short battle with himself over what to do, before he went to her and gathered her against his chest. This is when she breaks and he holds her until she cries herself to sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

__Warning: There's naughtiness ahead! Also, the next few chapters will have some violence and some really rough times for certain characters.

Disclaimer: Still own nothing!

* * *

_"Who except the gods can live without pain?"_

~ Aeschylus

Rose woke up, then fought a brief war with the urge to just close her eyes again and let the oblivion of sleep take her away. But after a minute she quietly untangled herself from Loki's arms and got up to go shower, she keeps the lights off because the dark seems (a good place to hide) comforting to her right now, she will take what comfort she can, because this is about to get very hard, and so she lets the water run over her she tries very hard not to think at all.

When Rose comes out of the bathroom she sits on the edge of her bed and looks at Loki, who is watching her with an expression that on anyone else she would call worried.

"I'm not going to try and keep you here against your will anymore," she sees Loki's dark brows draw down in puzzlement, then he narrows his eyes at her.

"Why now?" he demands suspiciously, then his eyes widen in sudden understanding and she knows he is reading her mind. Reading her mind, but getting all the wrong ideas judging by the expression on his face.

Rose shrugs helplessly, "What can I do for you? You've healed, the scars will fade soon.

Your magic is restored and -" _And she loves him_. "You can go anywhere you want Loki, I release you from what binds you here," Rose blinks back the tears that she will not let fall as she watches him.

Loki stands up, "You do not want-" and cuts off what he was going to say. He looks like he's going to speak again, and for just a second he looks almost _stricken_ by her words, but then he is just _gone_ in a flash of green light.

Mechanically, Rose turns off the lights, then climbs back in bed and pulls the covers over her head. It's only when she buries her face in the pillow and it smells like him that she lets herself cry. She can't believe she sent him away, but how could she keep him here? How do you keep a person you love a prisoner? And if he didn't love you enough to _want_ to stay, how can you make him? And Rose sucks in a breath that ends on a sob, and she cries until she can't breathe, because there is no answer to her question that doesn't make her heart break.

* * *

Loki tells himself that he is glad to be gone, once more able to go about as _he_ pleases. That he is Loki of Asgard, and wants no one, _needs_ no one.

But while he is the God of Lies, he cannot lie to himself anymore, and he misses her.

She said she accepted him (as he was) and then she sent him _away_. He is not good enough for her, not enough, his mind chants over and over. But now, what he initially took as rejection, he now thinks was Rose's way of trying to (maybe) give him a choice. And of course he doesn't _need_ her, not at all, but he is worried about her. He has been away from her for three _weeks_ and what if she needs _him_? Loki stands outside her house and paces as he scowls at the darkened windows. He can see no lights on inside her dwelling, and even though he can sense Rose's presence inside, he cannot _see_ her so he transports himself to her side. She is curled up in her bed and Loki can feel the sense of melancholy rolling off of her in waves. The room is ice-cold so he lights the fireplace with a wave of his hand, the spell coming easily to him once again. He lays down next to her and pulls her into his arms, and Rose whispers his name over and over, and tucks herself closer to him before breaking down and clinging to him tightly.

Loki can feel the grief, the pain, she is in so much pain, the shame that makes her unable to meet his eyes. Doesn't she know that there is nothing that she needs to hide from him? He keeps her wrapped tightly in his arms and he will not let her go. She is his now. His.

* * *

Three days later, Rose's head spins when Loki scoops her up and takes her in the bathroom. She lets him undress her, and when he sets her in the warm water he climbs in with her and gently washes her hair, and then the rest of her body and it is so the opposite of anything sexual that she gives an involuntary smile at the idea. The God of Mischief and Lies is giving her a bath and mother-henning her like she was a sick child. Rose half-turned and laid her cheek against his chest and listened to the steady thump of his heart. She loves him.

"I missed you," she whispers the words against his wet skin. She can feel that he is worried about her.

Loki mock scowls down at her, answering her unspoken thought with a sneer, as is her very words are ludicrous, "I am a _God_, I am not _worried_ about a silly mortal girl." He picks her up and uses magic to dry them both as he walks, and he hears Rose sigh as he lays her down. Loki thinks that even though they have lain together skin to skin like this for days now, he will never get enough of it, of her. Get close enough. He has drenched himself with her scent and if at first the feel of her inside of his head seemed daunting, now it has brought him a sense of peace that he did not know he even wanted. She is his, and he feels content.

He tilts his head and looks down at her and thinks she's lost weight, and when he sees her rolling her eyes at his thoughts he finds he doesn't really mind. Loki rubs his cheek against her hair and huffs a laugh, thinking anyone who ever knew him would never believe he was cuddled up to (anyone) a mortal like this. He feels her warm skin under his hands and feels himself harden in an out of control rush, and thinks he will go mad from _want_. The urge to have her under him, filled with him, to secure her to him in every way that he can, and … he hears (_he_ _feels) _Rose laugh softly as she presses back into his aching cock in a move that has Loki grabbing her hips to still her.

He has better control than this, Loki thinks rather desperately in an effort to regain some dignity, but his voice is still embarrassingly hoarse when he speaks, "You need to rest, and I-" The rest of his good intentions dissolve as Rose twines her fingers in his hair and kisses him softly.

"I've done nothing _but _sleep for days," she says as she arches back against him again, and still she can feel him hesitate. So she tilts her head back so she can deepen the kiss, running her tongue along his bottom lip until he is shuddering and rock hard against her, and responds by pulling her tightly to him.

Loki kisses and licks along her neck, then tugs her thigh until it's draped over his hip as he slowly runs his hand up to the curve of her breast, smiling when she moans for him. He skims the lightest of touches back and forth across one taut nipple then the other until she is shivering, then he runs a palm up her thigh, and when he touches her, he finds she is already wet for him. Then he slowly pushes a finger inside her, and stifles a helpless sound when she pushes back against him once more. His fingers are slick when he traces a circle around her clit, keeping the contact light until he feels her start to tense under his hands, then Loki pulls her hips back into his cock as he pushes himself inside her in one hard thrust. The angle and the tight heat of her almost undoes him as he feels her muscles clench around him, and he grits his teeth as he runs nimble fingers over her clit again. He can feel the orgasm building in her and allows himself to thrust in and out of her more quickly, until he is hitting the spot inside of her that makes her arch her back so she can take him deeper still. Loki runs his lips down to the crook of her neck and when he hears Rose call his name as she stiffens in his arms, he bites down hard, holding her in place as he spills his seed inside her.

Loki kisses her cheek, then laughs when he sees that she is smiling slightly, but her eyes are shut.

Rose opens an eye and looks at him, "I've had more sex in the last month than I've had in my entire life. Not that your ego needs stroking, but if I'd known what I was missing, I'd have gone looking for _you_ years ago." At first Loki gives her a startled look at the praise, but then she sees the look of sadness in his green eyes and it makes her ache for him.

"If I had met you before … all of the other _things_ happened, I would not have known what to do with you," his tone is light, but his eyes are bleak, as if he is confessing something much more serious.

Rose sat up, then leaned over and kisses him until Loki's breath hitches and the lost look is gone, "I bet you would have figured something out."

"I may have," he allows and waggles his eyebrows at Rose making her laugh. Loki pulls Rose to him, and wraps his arms around her as he smiles into her hair. He thinks that for the first time in longer than he cares to remember he feels content with himself.

* * *

Thor comes to him the next day and Loki realizes that his worst nightmare is about to come to life.

They're in the kitchen and Rose is making them breakfast when they hear the knock on the door. He thinks when Rose leads Thor into the room, that he is lucky that they were clothed when his bro-, when Thor arrived. Rose is wearing one of his shirts, and while she is covered and far from bare, he can see Thor glance at her legs (she is his, and no one else's to look upon) and Loki is up and between them in a flash of green.

"What do you want?" Loki scowls at him as he speaks. But he can see that Thor's face is set in harsh lines that spoke of sleepless nights and fear, and he dreads the answer to his question.

"Brother, I need your help. Vanaheim has been invaded by the Titans, and without your help Thanos will have them overrun in a matter of days. You know how his mind works and I-" Thor paused, then continued in a rush, "I need your help."

For the first time since he had learned that inside him lived a monster, Loki felt a thrill of fear run through him. It was his dream come to life, Thanos had come back to claim his world and everything he holds dear will perish under the Titan's fist. He couldn't keep his eyes from drifting to Rose, she was safe here on Midgard, everything in his dreams had taken place on Asgard and if he went to Vanaheim to aid them, she would have no way to follow. She would be safe.

He saw the mutinous set of her jaw, and knew she had gleaned at least something of the direction of his thoughts and for the first time Loki carefully shielded his mind from her. It was curious how quickly he had become dependant on the link between them, because when he cut himself off from her, the loss of her actually _hurt._

Loki kept his eyes on Rose as he answered Thor, "I will aid you." The relief on Thor's face is immediate, and while he has given him every reason to doubt him, it still stings that he believes Loki would let Vanaheim burn for nothing more than to settle a grievance.

Rose watches the two of them and isn't sure if she wants to grab Loki and demand he take her with him, or kick him in the balls for thinking he can just leave her behind. The ball-kicking urge is becoming the more prominent of the two, so she just hopes she that can appeal to Thor.

She takes a deep breath then tries a winning smile on Thor, "I can help. People will be hurt and you'll need more healers."

"You have said before that you cannot heal as you once did," Loki says calmly, because he can feel how very angry she is with him for using her own words against her now, and for wanting to leave her behind.

"I can help and you _know_ it," Rose narrows her eyes at him as she speaks, and she wants to scream in frustration, and she can feel Thor watching them with a curious look on his face, but he doesn't interrupt as they argue.

_"No," _Loki's voice is hard. "I will not have it."

"You won't have it? You won't _have_ it? Rose grits out between gritted teeth. "Damn it, I can help and you know it. I can keep people from dying and I-"

Loki crosses the room and takes her arms in a surprisingly gentle grip, "Do not ask this of me, for I cannot, will not, change my mind on this." He draws his hands down her arm and takes her hand and presses a kiss in her palm, that she immediately clenches into a fist.

"Do this for me Rose," he keeps his voice soft, and he can feel the emotions swirling around her for all that he has blocked his mind from hers. "Please."

Rose wraps her arms around his waist tightly, "I am so kicking your ass for this later." She surprises a huff of laughter out of him, and she's glad he's shielding himself because as soon as she figures out how, she's going after him.

She glances at Thor, who is watching them and sees the small smile he suppresses before he speaks.

"I will give you a moment to say goodbye," he gives Rose a short nod before walking outside leaving them alone.

Rose knows that Loki thinks she will try and change his mind, so she raises up on tiptoe and kisses him hard instead.

Loki froze in place, then picked her up and pulled her to him. He rests his forehead against hers and closes his eyes and just for a minute wishes he could run to the ends of the realms with her. Far away from Thanos, and damn all the realms that would try and take her from him.

"Come back to me," her voice is fierce, because if this is the last chance she gets, she doesn't want him to remember her crying.

He just kisses her sweetly, and it is that one thing that almost breaks her, because she knows that he thinks he will not survive, and the minute he leaves she is going after him.

"When I come back, I want to spend days in bed with you next to me," Loki laces their fingers together as he speaks. "Until all you can say is my name." He presses a kiss to her cheek, then sets her lightly on her feet.

"Be safe," she whispers, but he is gone in a swirl of green light.

Rose swallows hard until she is sure her voice won't break, then looks over her shoulder and speaks, "You can come out now. They're gone."

She watches as the woman is slowly revealed in a shimmer or light, long blonde hair is done in a braided bun, and she is dressed in a flowing gown of the deepest of blue that matches the color of her eyes, and the smile she gives to Rose is kind. "You are very astute if you were aware of my presence and my son's were not."

"Well, to be honest, I only picked up on you after Thor left," Rose wants to laugh (or cry) because the Queen of Asgard is standing in her kitchen. She gives the queen her best dance lesson curtsy, her mother would have been amazed that she still remembered, then thinks introducing herself would probably be in order.

"I'm Rose O'Neill. I've been taking care of-" She pauses, because she doesn't want to make his mom think that she's making him seem weak. "I've been helped Loki when he was injured." And yeah, that's probably not the best thing to bring up when he was injured in her husband's torture-chamber. Luckily for her, Frigga doesn't seem to want to talk about how Loki was injured either.

"It is a pleasure to finally meet you, and I will be forever grateful for all that you have done for my son." She comes over to stand in front of Rose, "I am Frigga of Asgard."

It isn't lost on Rose that the queen had been told about her, but she was wondering what exactly she had been told, or who had been talking about her. "I wouldn't have thought that Thor would have told anyone where he had taken Loki."

"He didn't want to, but I have had much practice getting the boys to talk when they are trying to keep secrets. And of course Heimdall is always watching." She laughs at the look of abject horror on Rose's face at that, "Never that closely, my dear. There are some things a mother doesn't need to know." She takes Rose by the hand, "Thank you for giving me back my son."

"I cant just sit here while he goes off to fight," Rose says this, because she really wants to say she loves him, and she can't say that to his mother until she finds out just what kind of person she is. "I can help. I can help the healers and I-"

Frigga cuts her off gently, "It never ceases to surprise me that men think that women need protecting, when we are the ones that fight to bring them into the world." She gives Rose a wicked grin that has Loki written all over it, "Gather what you need and I will take us to Vanaheim."


	8. Chapter 8

__I want to give a big shout out to everyone who has read, reviewed or favorited this. You guys are the sauce of all awesomeness and I can't thank you enough for the kind words. Or just the fact that you took time to read it. I loves ya all!

Disclaimer: Still do not own anything. Bummer

* * *

_"Hope is faith holding out it's hand in the dark."_

~ George Isles

* * *

And what should have been a really simple conversation turned into a scream-fest that had Grady yelling profanity in the phone at her. And truthfully, no one can do guilt like a family member, or at least not with as much accuracy anyway.

"Fuck you Rose! You are not leaving without me, and you damn well better keep your ass on Earth until I get there, or I'm gonna de-ball your alien love-god," Grady shouted at her.

Rose holds the phone away from her head so she doesn't go prematurely deaf, and because Grady' so angry that she swears she can practically feel it vibrating through the phone lines at her. "Will you just calm down and listen to-"

"No, I fucking well won't shut-up and listen! This isn't even half-cool and I … you … you're the only family I have left Rosie," this time his voice breaks as he speaks. And there's the kicker, because while she knows that he's never blamed her for what happened to their mom, it will always be her fault.

"You are such a pain in my ass," she mutters before she agrees he can come with her, and thinks that if she had a dollar for every time she's told her brother this, she'd be rich. She can hear the relief in his voice as she tells him they will wait for him, and she can never be mad at him for long, because they've always had each other, no matter what.

"It is good that you are bringing him, you will have need of your brother," Frigga says softly, and the words send a frisson of fear down her spine.

"You have the gift of foresight, don't you?" Rose says flatly. She wants to ask, wants to know if she's making a big mistake taking Grady with her. Wants to know of Loki. But the words stick in her throat and die unasked.

She spins the bracelet on her arm and smiles slightly when Frigga asks what is says.

"HIC ET NUNC," Rose turns the silver band on her arm in a circle, smiling involuntarily while she does it. "It means Here and Now. Grady got it for me on my birthday one year. He thought that it would help me to remember to stay in the present and not …well, to not dwell in the past with things I couldn't change."

Frigga walks over to the woman her son has chosen and looks into her worried grey eyes, "Then you had best not worry over things that you cannot change then." She smiles at the pained look Rose gives her, "It is always easier to be the one to give the advice than to be the one to take it, I think."

"I know what Loki's been dreaming. Thanos will come, and he will tear Asgard apart to get what he wants," she blurts out. She can feel the burn of tears, and fights not to let them spill over, because what Thanos wants is Loki, and he can't have him.

Frigga takes her hand and squeezes it tightly, and her voice is fierce, "Then he shall be denied what he wants; for what he wants, he cannot have."

She cants her head to the side and studies Rose for a moment before she speaks again, "Loki is responsible for the deaths of many of your people. Has done monstrous things. But you care for him, do you not?"

"There many things on my life that I regret, but loving your son will never be one of them," Rose says keeping her eyes locked on Frigga as she speaks. She can tell that this is what Frigga has been waiting for, a sign that someone else believes in her son.

"It will be dangerous for you as well," Frigga warns her. "If you have seen what Loki has dreamt, then you know that Thanos will come for you as well."

"I don't understand why," Rose says, because this has puzzled her since she'd first seen Loki's dreams. "I'm not magical in the sense that I could do anything to help him," Rose feels her blood run cold at the sympathetic smile Frigga is giving her.

"There's nothing I have that he wants," she insists, but her voice is weak, and then the other shoe drops, and she just _knows _what Frigga is going to say before she says it.

"It is not _you_ the Titan wants," Frigga agrees softly.

"I'm sorry, but this has got to be a mistake. I'm not able to have … I can't _have_ children. Ever. So I think that you've got the wrong girl." It was hard not to squirm under the circumstances, because she was painfully aware that several hours before she'd been doing everything that _could_ get you pregnant. With Loki.

She flinches at the mildly pitying look that Frigga gives her, "Please excuse me for a moment." Then she bolted from the room before she'd even finished the sentence.

Rose shut the door to her room and took a deep breath, then looks at herself in the mirror and didn't know whether to laugh or cry. All the color had washed out of her face, making her freckles stand out like ink spattered on white paper. And oh yeah, and let's not forget about the hair that was worthy of a walk-of-shame, and the outrageous bite mark on her neck.

_God, _she was just glad that Frigga hadn't come earlier and walked in on them naked and screwing on the kitchen table. Naked and under Loki (or on top of) was not the way to meet anyone's mother. Rose blew a breath out through her nose and walked in the bathroom and wet her hair and ran a brush through it until she no longer looked like she'd been electrocuted, and finally let herself think about Frigga's words. There was no way. The doctor's had told her years ago that she'd never be able to have children, that when she'd been stabbed, that there had been too much damage.

Of course, that's before you had marathon-sex with a fricking _magical_ being, she thought. She told her brain to shut-up, then ran an uneasy hand over her flat stomach, and tried to cast her thoughts inward. Even if (and there was no way) she could be pregnant, a baby wouldn't have any sort of consciousness for her to read this early. She felt nothing and had just started to drop her hand … then she senses it. Delicate and fragile, almost like butterfly wings against your skin, another mind reaching out for hers.

And just like that, her world changes forever.

"Oh, holy Jesus," Rose whispers to her startled reflection. A baby. How can this happen? How can she have a baby? How is she supposed to tell Loki that she's pregnant? He can barely stand that he's a Jötunn, and she's going to surprise him with a half-breed baby. A half mortal baby too, because let's not forget the other race he despises.

At least she can tell Grady, she thinks with a only slightly hysterical laugh. He'll make some weird joke about her little mutant baby and make her feel less like running and hiding. Then she tries to focus and dresses in record time and when she comes back out Frigga is still waiting patiently, and resumes the conversation like Rose hadn't had a momentary freak-out.

"It is not you the Titan wants, it is the child," Frigga says sympathetically this time. "The baby will have the blood of three magical races in it's veins, and Thanos cannot be allowed to take the child. The safest place for you now is with us. We can keep you both hidden from his eyes."

Rose opens her mouth, shuts it again, then gathers her courage and just says it, "Loki is going to hate me for this." She motions between her and Frigga, then at her stomach, "The idea of a baby-"

Frigga takes her hand, then places her own over Rose's stomach, and smiles, "Sometimes the best gifts you receive are those you do not ask for." She squeezes her hand, "Strength now child. All things will work out as they should. Now gather your things quickly, we must be off."

* * *

Rose had been a doctor in training before she'd quit, and between that and the work she'd done for SHIELD she would have thought there would be very little left to shock her. She was so wrong.

Nothing was like an actual war.

Rose watches as the healer she had been assigned to help tightens the tourniquet around the man's leg as he screams and begs her not to take it. Thinking for the thousandth time that she hopes she doesn't puke on one of her patients, she puts her hand over his pain-filled blue eyes, trying to ignore the agony in his leg long enough to compel him to sleep.

Her ability to heal has been all over the place since they've came to Vanaheim. What before would leave her weak and shaky for hours, no longer seemed to phase her, and healing came easily to her again. She had spoken of it somewhat to Adelis, and the older healer said it was very common for healing ability to strengthen as you became older. Rose really thinks it has much more to do with the fact she's carrying the child of a sorcerer than the age thing, but it's not like she can ask. She knew Adelis was curious about where the father of her child was, but had let Rose keep her secret without pressing her. Telling your tent-mate that you're pregnant with the Prince of Asgard's child is not exactly discrete, so she had avoided the topic as best she could without outright lying to the woman.

Adelis pats her on the shoulder lightly, "You need to rest little one. It will not do you or the babe any good if you drop from exhaustion." She smiles kindly and points in the direction of the tents the healers share. Adelis had taken Rose under her wing since the first day and helped her learn her way around. The Vanaheim healers had asked no questions of the Queen, had just agreed to accept the extra help and had hidden the two Midgardians without asking any questions.

Rose nodded wearily, and then started the long walk back to the tent where they sleep. She hadn't seen much actual fighting, the Titan's would strike seemingly on a whim in the dark of night, then she and the others would help ease the wounded or the dying during the light of day.

The pattern of the attacks was not lost on her though. It was obvious that he was searching for something, and he didn't mind tearing Vanaheim to shreds looking for it. If it were just her she would give herself up to him, but as Frigga had said, what the Titan wanted he could not have.

Inside the tent it was pleasantly dim and quiet, and she pours steaming water from a pitcher into a basin and starts scrubbing the blood from her hands. They have a neat spell for keeping the water always hot that she envies as she dumps the basin and starts again with clean water. Rose took off her stained tunic and her shift and tosses them in the basket with the other clothes that will need to be washed. She upends the pitcher over her head, rubbing wet hands over her body down to the barely noticeable swell of her stomach, wondering at it yet again. She dries off, then tugs a clean shift over her head and plaits her still damp hair into a loose braid. Adelis said that the tiredness of early pregnancy would pass soon, but for right now she was so tired she ached with it.

And if she's being really honest, it's more than that. She misses Loki.

Rose thought that she'd done alone for so long it had become second nature to her, but she didn't _want_ to be alone anymore. Didn't have to be when she was with Loki, and she misses him.

She curls up on her cot and runs her palm over her stomach, and reaches out with her thoughts until she can feel the baby, and projects love and well-wishes to her unborn child until they both fall asleep.

And then she dreams of Thanos.

He holds a knife to her throat and laughs as he threatens Loki, "I will not kill her Little Liesmith." He runs a hand over the mound of her stomach, and huffs out another laugh at the shock on Loki's face, "You didn't know you'd bred a child on the mortal whore, did you?"

"I will kill you a thousand times if you dare harm her," Loki's voice is seething, and his eyes burn with hate as he stares down the Titan.

"I would not hurt the girl," he gives Loki a smile as he trails his fingers through Rose's dark hair, making her shudder. "Your child has the blood of three races running through it's veins, the united magic of three realms, and it will be mine," he taunts, and the things in his mind are unspeakable.

Rose shrieks in denial and tries to twist in his arms, but Thanos holds her immobile by shifting the knife point and jabbing her in the side with it until she feels blood trail down her skin. "Try that again and I will gut you while the Jötunn watches," he whispers the words in her ear.

The guards point their weapons at Loki while Thanos whispers in her ear, "If you come with me willingly, I will let him live."

And what do you choose? The person you love the most or the life inside you? And that is the point where she awakens, trying not to scream.

They had always been sensitive to one another's minds, and Grady must have felt her panic because he is suddenly there, and pulls her against him and holds her while she tries not to lose her mind. Because there is no choice.

"It'll be okay Rosie," Grady rocks her like she did him when they were children and he was afraid.

Grady hands her a cup of water, then pours one for himself and waits for her to take a drink before he gives her a smile that she just knows means he's up to no-good, and is trying to distract her, "Another dream where you tell Loki that your having his alien super-spawn?"

"I hate you," Rose says with a laugh, and blesses her brother for his attempt to divert her from her fears, because it's either that or go insane.

She moans and holds her head in her hands, then glares at Grady because he's laughing so hard at her he's doubled over, "Stupid Norse God sperm anyway."

Grady chokes on his drink, and gives her a horrified look, "I could have gone the rest of my life without hearing my sister use the word _sperm_ in a sentence."

"Oh my God, seriously? Remember when Mom found a pair of girl's panties in the couch cushions that one time and I covered for your horny ass and said they were mine? God only knows what the hell she thought I was doing, so I can say the _"s" _word as much as I want, you jerk."

Rose narrows her eyes at Grady as he snickers at the memory, then takes a cheap shot just to mess with him. "Sperm, sperm, sperm," she chants, then she watches him gag and pantomime vomiting into his cup.

Rose's voice turns serious, "What am I going to tell him? I think to say that he's _not _going to be excited about having a Frost Giant/Mortal love-child is probably the understatement of the century."

Grady did an exaggerated spit-take with water that makes her smile in spite of everything, "I never thought of that! What if the baby's blue?"

Rose snorts, "Never mind the blue part. Blue's not the problem. It's the _giant_ part that's freaking me out."

Grady gives her a sanguine smile, "Be glad that whole horse-rumor thing isn't true, otherwise the baby could have multiple legs too."

"I dare you to say that in front of Loki," she's giggling helplessly, because her dumbass brother does not get the fact that she's going to have to get the baby _out_ somehow.

"So what's going on with your dreams? Cousin Lily was the one who had the whole seer thing going on," Grady smiles at her gently, but his tone is worried. "You can tell the attacks are running in patterns now and the Vanir will figure out soon that they're looking for us."

"No. Not us," Rose corrects softly. "Me. Thanos is looking for me." She starts to tell Grady that she can't choose between them, when she notices the complete absence of sound outside the tent. She looks at her brother and feels like she is free-falling and is just about to hit bottom, "Why is it so quiet Grady?"

There is instant alarm in his eyes, and he pulls her to her feet and tosses her clothes at her, "Hurry and get dressed, we need to go _now_."

They walk out of the tent and it is eerily quiet as they look around, then it becomes obvious that it is the lull before the storm, because the world erupts in smoke and fire. There are people running and screaming now, because the Thanos has given up subtlety and is burning all in his path. The healers try to help the wounded escape their tents, and those with offensive magics try to slow down the flames, but the fire burns like nothing Rose has ever seen before. It is a sickly shade of blue, and when touches the skin of one of the Vanir sorcerers, it crawls over his skin, then it burns him alive from the inside out while he screams.

Rose grabs Grady's hand and together they run to where the least mobile of the wounded are kept. She sees Adelis is helping the ones who can't walk un-aided into carts, then the healer looks at her and Grady with wide, horrified eyes.

"Go now," she tells Rose, she gestures in the direction of the two cloaked sentries. "Follow them to the where the Bifröst can be opened, they will call to Heimdall and he can take you all to Asgard from there." She gives Rose a nudge to get her moving, "If this mad-man finds you what he is doing now will be nothing compared to what he will do to the Nine if he gets his filthy hands on the babe."

She gives Rose a quick kiss on the cheek, then pushes her in the direction of the waiting soldiers, as the balefire light from the flames come closer, "Run as fast you can."

They come to the rise of the slight hill above the encampment, and when they look back on those they left behind there is enough light to see that the healers tents are now swallowed by blue flames, and the screams of the dying are the only sounds left.


	9. Chapter 9

Author's Note: There is le smut in this chapter. Descriptions of violence and Loki gets his Jötunn on... Ye've been warned...

Disclaimer: Still don't own anything!

* * *

"_All the things one has forgotten scream for help in dreams."_

~ Elias Canetti

* * *

Loki thinks the fact that the All-Father has yet to say anything about his return to Asgard is telling of just how concerned he is about the threat that Thanos is bringing with him. He and Thor had gone to Vanaheim, and so far the Titans were still striking at night. It is becoming pointedly obvious that Thanos is looking for something, and while a part of him was so sure that Thanos was looking for him, he is now starting to have doubts. The biggest because he had been to Vanaheim several times and had taken no particular care to hide himself. If Thanos had wanted him, he would not have been difficult to find.

There is a persistent feeling in the back of his mind telling him that something is amiss, and while it has been plaguing him for days, he cannot determine the source. He suspects that it has something to do with Rose.

Loki scowls down at his wine goblet, thinking if he were being honest, it is the _absence _of Rose that is really the problem. He had had lovers before, but all prior affections he'd had for others seemed to pale in comparison to the bond he had found with the mortal. She had somehow carved a place for herself inside his heart and would not be put aside easily, or at all it would seem. But more to the point, he does not _want_ to put her aside. He wants her with him, by his side.

Loki has ever been the Trickster, the Silvertongue, the Liesmith, but Rose sees him true, sees inside him the way no one else ever has. He had always been a solitary creature, never needing anyone to stand at his side, but he is filled with a pang of longing for her that is breathtaking in its intensity.

Loki sighs as he watches Thor listen to whatever Odin is saying, because he himself had ceased listening about a half-hour ago if he were still of the mind to be forthright. There was another thing, this concept of being honest about things was a distressing new tendency he was showing. What next, he wondered gloomily. But he liked talking to Rose, she was genuinely interested in what he had to say, and if he did tell her an untruth she was quick to call him out on it. They had conversed on all manner of things and the most disturbing part was the fact he was interested in what her opinion was on different subjects they had discussed. He had cursed Thor for his sentiment for others, but he no longer had any leeway to cast stones. He was just as guilty as Thor for allowing sentiment to rule his heart. He gives the glass of wine another dark look, as he realizes he is now brooding like a youth at the onset of first lov-

Loki rubs his temples, because he has evidently run mad again. He has been tormented nightly since his return to Asgard over month ago with dreams that have no conclusion, or not any conclusion that he will accept at any rate. He will not allow Rose to die at the hands of the Titan. She is safe on Midgard, and he will kill Thanos long before he ever has a chance to know she exists.

He has gone about his days with Thor and the Warriors Three trying to get in sight of the Titan, but so far Thanos has proved adept at eluding them. Loki had thought at first that he would be drug before Odin to be tortured once more upon his return, no matter what Thor had said to the contrary, but the All-Father seemed had content to suffer the presence of a Jötunn in silence if it meant ridding Asgard of the threat of the Titans.

He is lost in his thoughts, and that is never a good place to be when in Odin's private counsel-room, but oddly enough the distraction comes in the form of a maid bending Frigga's ear with an apologetic look, rather than the All-Father reprimanding him for his lack of attention.

The servant scurried over to Frigga, and Loki watched as his mother's eyes widened in alarm at whatever the woman was telling her. Frigga quickly excused herself to her husband and sons, then followed the maid out of the hall. It was the furtive look on her face that had him following her and eavesdropping shamelessly on her conversation.

"Tell me, what has happened with her?" Frigga kept her voice hushed, as she spoke to the Einherjar who was waiting to talk to her.

The healer looked taken aback, "The girl has woken up, and I believe it was the fact we had restrained her that has her frightened so. They had given her a potion for pain, and she does not appear to understand we are trying to come to her aid. She has injured Inge already because we cannot get her to calm herself."

"Her arm-" The healer took a breath. "She has been sore abused by someone before. I think if she had someone she trusts we could get her to understand, but she is too trapped by past fears to settle." Margrethe lowers her voice to almost a whisper, "She has been calling for Prince Loki."

"Have you run mad?" Loki asks her as he allows himself to become visible. He is gritting his teeth to keep from shouting at his mother, "You, who have the gift of foresight, would bring the woman I lo-" He stops before he says the rest aloud, as if he does not voice the words aloud to her it will not make them be true.

Frigga gives Loki a pitying look, she has ever been able to see into his heart and just tells him, "You need to go to her." She knows he is furious with her, but he gives her a stiff nod, then disappears in a swirl of magic.

Loki pulls up short at the sight of Rose. Her hair was a wild tangle around her face, and she had her teeth bared at the group of healers that were trying to get close to her, and as he watches she flings herself backward again. Even as she moans at the pain it causes her, she still thrashes against the restraints, and then Loki could see what she had done to herself. The front of her gown was spattered with crimson from where she'd cut herself, and from the elbow down her arm was a bloody mess. They had bound her arm and she had pulled back as far as she could get and was trying to tear herself free, and from the looks of it she was in a blind panic.

"We had to pin her arm so she could not move it and make the injury worse, and when she awoke she went mad," Silje said quietly. "She is too frightened to be made to see reason, and she will not let anyone close."

The healer touches his arm to stay him, "She has been calling for you."

"Rose," he says softly. Loki opens his mind to hers, and for a moment all he can feel is her fear beating at him. The pain in her arm is a sharp stab of agony that has him gritting his teeth, and he watches in shock as she flings herself back with a shriek trying to free herself once again.

When the girl had been killed Rose had said that she had woken up shackled, and from what Loki had seen she had peeled the flesh from her arm in a effort to get free and come to the girl's aid. Something in his heart wrenches at the piteous sounds she is making as she thrashes in vain to free herself.

"It is not as you think," he tells her. "You are safe here, and I will allow no harm come to you." Loki takes out his dagger to cut the binding that is tethering her to the bed, and she makes a soft noise like a wounded animal as she collapses to her knees, and it sickens him inside to watch her scuttle back from him in fear.

"Have a care," Silje says in warning. "She badly injured Inge earlier." Then she watches open-mouthed as her prince knelt next to the Migardian girl while calling softly to her.

Loki crouches down in front of her saying her name and pulls Rose to him, and he can feel the link between them click into place, like a key being turned in a lock. She said his name, and her pale eyes fill with tears as she grabbed a handful of his shirt and buried her face against his chest. Loki scooped her up, then he asks the Einherjar to have his mother meet them in his quarters and then carries her to his room. By the time he gets there she has gone limp in his arms, and he wonders once again how she came to be injured like this, how she came to be in Asgard at all for that matter.

He carefully lays her on his bed, and while she moans softly, she doesn't seem to fully awaken as he removes the blood spattered shift, and cleans the wound on her arm. Loki rewraps it, and then carefully props it on a pillow so she does not hurt herself further. He has pulled a chair up beside the bed and is watching her worriedly when Frigga comes to him. For a moment Loki does not see her, and when he looks up he sees that Frigga is watching him with a small smile on her face.

For a moment Frigga just studies her son as he attends the girl, and while the mother in her aches for the trials her youngest son has been through, she is also fiercely glad he has found happiness with the Midgardian. She knows he would deny it, but the raw look in his eyes tells the truth that he will not allow himself to believe.

She knows he has avoided any serious conversation with her since his return, and for now she allows it because it is easier for him to focus on the dark-haired mortal than on other matters.

"She loves you very much," Frigga says quietly. She sees Loki stiffen at her words, but he says nothing for a long moment as he watches Rose sleep.

"I do not understand," he confesses, and she feels her heart breaks a little for him.

"When you were a child you would ever question all manner of things," she says as she leans over and presses a kiss to his cheek. "She's a smart girl, and brave as well. They were cut off trying to leave Vanaheim, and she put herself between the others and harm. She slew two the Titans single-handedly."

She checks Rose's injuries, unwrapping her injured arm and applying a healing salve to the raw skin. She rewraps and splints it lightly to keep it immobile, and gives Loki a small vial, "Try and keep her from injuring herself any more. This is a potion for pain if she wakes again soon and needs it, but I think she will rest peacefully now that you are with her."

She ignores the dark look Loki gives her and ruffles his hair gently, "I will be back come the morning to check on her, and we will speak more then."

Loki watches his mother leave, then he lies down behind Rose so her back is to him, and carefully wraps his arm around her. He can feel her slowly start to go lax in his arms, and when she is sleeping he whispers that he missed her, and that he will keep her safe. Loki can feel some part of himself that he refuses to acknowledge finally calm now that she is by his side once more, and he sighs as he tucks himself closer to her.

Rose woke-up with a gasp of fear in the middle of the night, and then she instantly feels Loki against her skin, inside her mind, and she makes a strangled noise in her throat that has him tightening his arm around her. She ignores the grinding pain in her arm, and turns to face him, tracing the lines of his face with a shaking hand because he's here, and she can finally touch him again.

"I knew you'd come for me," she says. The quiet sincerity in her voice has Loki frowning in confusion, then he realizes she is still groggy from the pain draught.

"He had me alone in the dark for so long," her voice trails off, and her eyes are almost closed before she speaks again. "He wants her … the things he'll do to her … we won't let him."

Loki sees she is sleeping again and puzzles over her words. He will ask her when she is once again clearheaded he decides, and then he kisses her cheek and this time lets himself sleep as well.

The next time Rose wakes up she thinks she can't breathe, and realizes that Loki has her tucked almost completely underneath him. Her arm is propped on the pillow once more, but Loki has put himself between her and the door, between her and harm, and has draped himself over her protectively, his long arms wrapped around her and holding her close.

She thinks she should get up and go help with the wounded. She also thinks she really needs to tell Loki that she pregnant. That while he cannot make peace with the fact he's Jötunn, he's going to be a father of a child that's half-Jötunn and half-mortal. And in all reality, probably half-Aesir as well, because that's what she really thinks Loki's parentage is, and is yet another conversation to postpone until later. And won't all_ that _probably go over well?

Rose decides that for just a minute it all can wait, and she can let herself just enjoy being with him again. The link between them is a soft warmth in the back of her mind and she missed him more than she would have thought was possible, now that she's with him again she can admit it. Rose closes her eyes again and listens to Loki snoring softly and smiles to herself, then huffs out a laugh when he answers her thought aloud.

"I do not snore," he says sleepily. He was loathe to admit it, but it was the first good sleep he has had since they had been parted.

Loki tightens his arms around her, "How are you feeling now?"

"Better. I'm sorry about going crazy like that. I think I really hurt that Einherjar," Rose closes her eyes and tries to remember what happened after the Titans had almost captured them.

And then all comes flooding back.

She had killed one of the Titans that had captured Grady, and she remembers how easily his heart exploded in his chest, blood suddenly pouring from his mouth, and she stood and watched as the light died in his eyes.

And she was glad. Glad she killed him, because he would killed all of them if she had not.

The other one had tried to run and she had killed that one as well. More of them had tried to stop them from fleeing through the Bifröst, and the guards had held them off with swords and magic. She remembers that she'd taken a blow that had broken her arm, and then the rest is just bits and pieces until she'd woken in Asgard.

The pain in her arm and waking tethered to the bed had driven her wild with fear, forced her back to the dark time where the taunts of a madman, and the lost screams of a child played through her mind again and again and again.

Loki leans over, as he can feel the direction her thoughts are taking her, and turns her head so she is forced to look at him, "The healer will be fine."

He kisses her until he can feel that she is back with him, and not trapped by the past in her mind, "Do not think such dark thoughts. You are with me now, and I will not allow you to come to any more harm." He turns her so that she is sprawled over his chest, and Rose sighs and rests her head against him and listens to the steady beat of his heart.

She raises herself up on her good arm and turns and looks down at Loki. His black hair hangs in his eyes, and she tucks a stray piece of it behind his ear. Her hair is curlier, but his has a long wave to it that she thinks is prettier, and then she laughs when his eyes widen in outrage at her thoughts.

"I do _not_ have pretty hair," Loki growls at her. "I will shave my head if you keep thinking such." Then he says no more because Rose is kissing him, and she is sifting her fingers through his hair, and it feels so good that Loki no longer cares about anything except for the feel of her in his arms. He had stripped her of the bloody gown before putting her to bed and she is all warm skin against him, and Loki runs his hands down her back to the curve of her hips and revels in the feel of her. He huffs out a surprised laugh when Rose tugs him upright with her good hand, and then she raises up on her knees and takes him inside her in a slow move that has him gasping her name.

And Loki is lost because she is his.

Rose nipped his bottom lip, then licks inside his mouth, as she sucks on his tongue in a motion that mimics the way she is riding his body until Loki pulls back with a moan. She carefully balances her splinted arm on his shoulder as she stills, keeping him as deep inside her as she can, then she kisses her way along his jaw and down his neck. She raises her eyes up to meet his, and the raw hunger in his green eyes is breathtaking in it's intensity. He is shuddering under her hands, and she can feel Loki tense under her in anticipation as she nips teasingly at his collarbone, then she licks the curve of his neck, and when she bites down he throws his head back with a strangled sound.

Loki's fingers dig into her hips as he pulls her down onto him, keeping her firmly pinned to him as his orgasm overwhelms him. He can feel her muscles tighten; and she comes as well, and he loses all pretense of control, and shifts without thought to his Jötunn form, leaving Rose blinking down at him in surprise.

He is still hard inside her, and he wants her teeth on him again, so he tilts his head to the side in silent invitation. And he _needs_ this, and when Rose bites him again Loki bucks his hips up into her, as another orgasm has him growling her name. He rolls them over gently, and starts thrusting inside her in long, slow strokes until they are both right on the edge, and she is almost unbearable tight, and the heat of her … Loki moans as he pulls out, sitting back and pulling her legs apart, running his tongue across her clit slowly until he can feel her starts to quiver under hands. He sucks at her then, long fingers finding the perfect angle to make her arch against him, and then he drives himself hard inside her again. He thinks the sensation of the markings on his cock rubbing against her is all it takes to for both of them, and when Rose comes with a cry, Loki comes as well.

She can feel Loki shaking against her, and despite the Frost Giant title, he feels hot inside her. She shifts under him to settle him more deeply because he is still rock-hard, and is staring down at her with wild eyes. It was harder to tell with the dark red eyes, but there is a look of shock on his face that is impossible to miss. He is shuddering as if the sensation is almost beyond bearing to him, and she rolls him onto his back and braces her good arm on his chest and slowly rocks against him.

The feeling that she is picking up from him isn't hard to decipher because it is just a litany of: mine, mine, mine. Rose can feel what he wants though, what he needs from her, and she pulls him upright and tilts her head back and can instantly feels him react to the sight. Loki has his teeth set his in her neck before she can blink, and this time it hurts. It burns like he is setting a brand upon her skin when he bites down, but any words of protest are lost as she feels him spill his seed inside her, and she feels his orgasm so intensely it makes her vision blur, and she collapses against his chest as the sensation rocks through her as well.

It is all Loki can do to cradle Rose against his chest as he tries to relearn to breathe. He knows he hurt her, and the shame of it is dark and bitter, and it cuts him worse than blade ever could. The one person that has never born any ill feeling towards him and he has willingly hurt her. Loki shifts back to his Asgardian form and can think of nothing to say as Rose crawls off him silently. He thinks if he keeps his eyes shut for a moment longer he will not have to see the disgust in her eyes for him, the base urge to rut on her in his Jötunn form is disconcerting to say the least. He had never known before that he was … not Aesir, and had never had the desire to do what he had done to her with anyone else before.

"Um, Loki," Rose is looking in the mirror at her neck and can't quite believe it. She looks over at the bed and sees that Loki is lost to his thoughts, and none of them are good from what she's feeling.

She studies him for a minute, he is Asgardian shaped once more and has an arm thrown over his face, no doubt to shield himself from the disgust he expects to see in her eyes. She frowns in the mirror, then runs her fingers over the mark on her neck and can hear Loki gasp at the sensation from across the room. He'd sat up in shock and was staring at her now, green eyes wide with shock.

Rose understood why the bite on her neck had burned now, it had settled into her skin like the marks of a brand. It ran up her neck, then trailed down over her collarbone slightly, the lines of it were very slightly raised and it wasn't much darker than her natural skin tone, but it was definitely visible. It was only about three inches long, and looked like an ornate version of an infinity knot, and evidently closely tied to Loki because he inhaled sharply when she trailed a fingernail over the sinuous lines of it.

She smiles slightly at the expression on his face, "I take it this is new for you as well?"

She's trying to keep her voice calm because she can tell that Loki is about one step from bolting from the room. It is without a doubt some sort of sigil, and from what Loki has told her and what she has seen in his thoughts, he has no more idea than she does what it truly means.

What Loki is thinking and refuses to say aloud, is that he thinks it is some sort of bonding or mating symbol of the Jötunn. He can see the exact moment Rose picks up on that thought by her next words.

"Do you get one too?" She looks over her shoulder at Loki, and waits for him to answer her.


	10. Chapter 10

Author's Note: I've taken some liberties with the Chitauri and Thanos to fit them into my world.

Disclaimer: Still don't own it...

* * *

"_There are things so horrible that even the dark is afraid of them."_

~ Terry Pratchett

* * *

Loki inhales sharply, and he can feel hot color flooding his cheeks as Rose grins over her shoulder at him. Her pale eyes are sparkling with humor, and something inside him just snaps at the sight of her smiling at him like that, utterly without guile, like she hadn't just seen him act completely depraved. Will the foolish girl never do as he expects? He has shown her the very worst of himself, and yet she is still _here_. Still professing to love him, he can _feel _it. And while he had mocked Thor for the sentiment, Loki wants this, wants her, wants to keep her with him for all time. Before he can even give himself time to think, he's up and across the room before Rose can do much more than blink at him, and then he pulls her against him and buries his face in her hair.

"I missed you," he says almost accusingly as he pulls back so he can look her in the eye.

Rose reaches up and pulls him in for a kiss, brushing her lips softly across his, "Good." She huffs a laugh at the petulant expression on his face, then wraps an arm around his waist and rests her head against his chest and listens to the steady beat of his heart, "I missed you too."

"_Why_ are you here? _How_ are you here?" Loki cradles her splinted arm in his hand, "You are lucky to be alive." He wants to shake her. Does she not know that she could have been killed? He scoops her up and settles her back in his bed, placing a pillow on her lap for her to rest her arm on, and sits down as well.

"Tell me that you wouldn't have done the same thing if the situation were reversed?" Rose can feel tears welling up in her eyes, and curses the pregnancy hormones for making her so damn emotional all the time now. "Tell me that you would have left me to fight alone instead of doing everything you could to keep me safe?"

She can feel myriad emotions swirling through Loki, but he is spared having to answer her by a knock on the door. He gives her an aggrieved look, then dresses them both with magic before opening the door.

"I beg pardon, but the Queen has requested that I bring this to the Lady Rose," Silje says with a curtsy and a shy smile. The Einherjar has a covered tray with food on it, and when Loki stands back and bids her to enter, she brings it over to the bed and sits it next to Rose.

"The Queen also wishes to speak with you," she says to Loki. "I would be honored to stay with your lady until you return, if you wish."

Loki nods in assent, "I will return directly." He hesitates at the door, "Rose, I- we will speak when I get back."

Silje hands Rose a small cup after the door closes, "This will help you get your strength back."

Rose takes the cup from her and takes a small sip, "This tastes wonderful." She takes a larger drink, then smiles at Silje and holds her arm out when the healer beckons to it. The older woman gently tests Rose's mobility of her broken arm while she finishes the potion, and Silje is unwrapping the splint when a wave of dizziness makes the room go out of focus for a minute.

Rose rubs her eyes with her good hand, and when she looks at the blond Einherjar again … she looks … _wrong. _The gentle hand on her arm turns into a bone crushing grip that makes her moan in protest, and when her vision wavers again, the lines around the older woman ripple and blur. Rose staggers to her feet, then collapses to knees as her legs refuse to hold her, and she watches in horror as it is revealed who really has her.

The glamour that was wrapped around the Einherjar has dropped completely now, and the slim fingers on her arm turn into a masculine hand that is tipped in _claws_ that carve lines into her skin, and the healer with the kind blue eyes slowly transforms into the tall, hooded figure that has been haunting her dreams.

Rose wants to scream for help, to _run_, but her vision is swimming in and out of focus, and the words die in her throat as whatever she had drank takes a deeper hold on her body. She thinks she should try to kill the Titan before he can take her, but her mind feels _numb_, and even as she tries to pull away her body simply refuses to respond.

Thanos bends over her and pulls her gown up, and at first all she think is that he is going to rape her, but instead he sniffs along her skin and inhales deeply instead as he does it. The action reminds her of animal scenting something it likes and he makes a pleased sound, then the Titan drags his tongue over the skin of her stomach and it is all she can do not to retch at the sensation.

"Very good," he croons at her. "The Jötunn has done well for himself this time." He reaches down and picks her up, carrying her out of the room and down the hall for all to see, and soon Rose can hear cries of alarm being raised, and then the sounds of fighting.

Thanos has brought Chitauri with him, and the shapeshifters slaughter all in their path as they make their way to the observatory.

"I want him to _suffer_. I want him to bleed forever from the pain of this," he whispers in her ear. "I want the Liesmith to know who has you, to know that he has brought this upon himself, upon _you_, for failing me." And it doesn't take long before he gets the reaction he wants, and she hears Loki's speaking.

"You will release her at once," Loki's voice is cold as he addresses the Titan.

Thanos turns, and Rose can see Loki standing with Thor. They have a cadre of guards with them as well as the Warriors Three and the Lady Sif, and dear God, _Grady_. They all have weapons drawn and pointed at Thanos.

Rose can feel the laughter rumble through the Titan's chest, and he shifts her in his arms until she can feel the dagger jabbing her in the side, and her dream has come to life.

"I will not hurt the girl," he rubs a hand slowly over her stomach as he speaks, and chuffs out a laugh at the look of dawning comprehension on Loki's face. "You truly did not know you had bred a child on your mortal whore, did you?"

"I will kill you slowly a thousand times over if you dare to harm her," Loki's voice is seething, and his green eyes burn bright with hate as he stares down the Titan.

"I won't kill her. At least not yet. The child has the blood of three realms, the blood of three magical races running through it's veins, and it will be mine to use as I see fit," Thanos taunts Loki, and rubs his face against Rose's hair.

Rose can see into his mind then, and the awful clarity of it makes her shriek in denial at his words, and as she tries pull free of his arms he jabs the knife harder into her side. "Try that again and I will kill the Jötunn in front of you," Thanos snarls at her.

The shapeshifters have their weapons pointed at the Asgardians, and then Thanos says the words that damn her, "You love him do you not?"

"You choose girl," he murmurs against her ear. "Does he live or die? The babe or your lover?" And just like in her nightmare, it is no choice at all.

"_No! _Rose, don't you dare!" Grady shouts at her. He's pushed his way between the Warriors and Thor, and she can hear the panic in his voice.

"He's lying. He's planning on killing-" And the rest ends in a choked gurgle when one of the Chitauri plants a knife in his chest.

Rose screams her brother's name as she twists in Thanos' grip, and concentrates on the feel of his heart, the feel of the blood pumping through his veins, then she wraps all her power around it and crushes it. And for a moment, she has him. Can feel the pain explode in his chest as they crash to the ground together.

Loki can see that Rose is doing her best to kill Thanos, and feels a wild surge of hope when she drops him to his knees, and he can see a dark river of blood pouring from his mouth. He is fighting his way to her when he sees the Titan bury his knife in her side, and he can feel the pain of it like he'd taken the blade himself, and it staggers him. Thanos spits a mouthful of blood on the ground and picks Rose up again, Loki can see that her gown is soaked with crimson, and she is trying in vain to pull away from him, and then they are just … gone.

The last thing Rose hears is Loki roaring in protest as Thanos takes her between the realms, and it is cold and black and _empty_, and it hurts like nothing she's ever felt before, and then there is only the dark as she finally passes out.

* * *

The cell that have put her in is dark, and she can hear the far off sounds of others and the whispers of whatever is crawling on the floor. Rose pulls her feet up on the stone bench so she is sitting in the middle of it and rests her head on her knees, and thinks she doesn't know what is worse, waiting for them to come for her, or if they do not come at all.

* * *

She has lost track of how long she has been here, because the world is consumed by darkness. They feed her enough to keep her from starving, but she doesn't want to think too hard about what it is they feed her, and she is always cold. Rose thinks she can tell the passage of time by the changes in her body, her stomach is no longer flat, and the baby is a warm presence in her mind now. She runs a palm along the round curve of her side, and the baby responds with a ripple of movement at her touch.

When Thanos had first brought her here, she had been sure that he would kill her in a fit of rage. She had killed the Chitauri that had healed her before he had realized that whatever he had drugged her with had worn off, and Thanos had gripped her by the chin hard enough Rose thought he was going to break her jaw, as he turned her head to look at the body.

"You should have a care girl. I won't be so quick to save you next time," Thanos dug his fingers harder into her skin. "Next time I will let the Chitauri have you."

Thanos' bright blue eyes are cold as he ran a finger over the knot-work of the sigil on her neck, "This is a Jötunn mating symbol." He laughs as she tries to jerk back away from him, and despite how afraid she is, she is also curious about what he is saying. "Your prince wouldn't be able to tolerate having another male touching you like this." He digs the tip of a claw into the lines of the mark until she can feel blood start to slide down her neck, then he slowly licks the blood that runs along the curve of her neck.

"He would be compelled to fight for you," Thanos bared bloodied fangs at her in a cruel parody of a smile. "I will have him bound in chains and let my men spread your legs and rut upon you until he runs mad from it."

"Most think the Frost Giants as little more than animals, but they know fealty to one another in a way that most other beings will never begin to comprehend." Thanos grins at the growing fear he can see in her eyes. "Once they are mated they are scarce able to bear the touch of another."

"If I did not need the child, I would let the Chitauri rape it from your belly in front of him," he says almost absently as he lets her go.

* * *

And after that, time starts to get away from her.

* * *

Rose is beginning to wonder if she'll end up dying here, but the part of her that refuses to give up, also refuses to have her baby in this shithole, and she tells herself she will find a way out of this.

Thanos had moved her from the cell they had initially put her in to an actual room of sorts, and she has a series of guards that are with her always now. The Chitauri guard Uial was the one that noticed she was slowly fading from lack of mental contact, and brought it to Thanos' attention.

Thanos had seemed almost disgusted at the weakness, but a few days later she got Uial, Tafeer, and Argass as her fulltime guards. The Chituari's minds were unique in the fact there was little deception in their thoughts, and she wonders if they would even be capable of real subterfuge despite the ability to change their forms. She could tell that Tafeer and Argass still believed that Thanos would lead them true, but Uial was doubting, and the longer the Chitauri was with her, the more she could see him drifting from the Titan's side.

Uial had taken her to bathe, and he sat impassively with his back to her sharpening what looked like a short sword while she washed her hair and body. The first time he had brought her to the shower, all she could think about was what Thanos had told her about having his men rape her, and she'd panicked and tried to run. Uial had picked her up, and carried her back in the room, shoving her under the water, and it was the slight thread of amusement she felt in his mind that kept her from losing it completely.

"You stink, human," he had grumbled as he pushed her back under the stream of water when she tried to run again. "If I am forced to guard you, then I require you not to smell thus."

Rose had pushed her wet hair out of her eyes as she stared at him, then had started laughing at the revulsion in his voice. She laughed until her sides ached from it, then (thank you hormones) had started crying. Uial had narrowed his golden eyes at her, then just picked up a bottle and poured some soap on her head and started washing her hair.

"You are mate-sick," he said as he carefully rinsed the soap out. At her blank look, the shapeshifter cocked his head to the side, and then gestured to the mark on her neck, though he took care not to touch it. "It is … unusual for a mated pair to be long away from one another."

The Chitauri aren't mind-readers exactly, but they can communicate with one another mentally on some level, and Rose listens to the hum of the shapeshifter's thoughts as she showers. It is the complete lack of interest in seeing her naked that got her to calm down enough to scrub away what feels like years worth of crud off her body. Uial handed her a clean shirt and pants to dress in and took her to her new room, and when he turns to leave she thanks him.

"Do not waste your platitudes on me. I am only doing what I was ordered to do." The Chitauri bares his teeth at her, "I was one of the few that Thanos thought would not try to crawl between you thighs in the dark. You are a ugly thing, but I may be persuaded to change my mind if you try my patience."

And just like that, Rose can feel he is lying, knows he would never touch her like that, and the knowledge makes her bold.

"You're lying," she says softly. "You lost _your_ mate. _Your _child. Didn't you?" Uial had snarled at her then, and had stormed from the room.

Since then, she no longer worried about what he saw her doing.

"Uial," Rose says his name, and he looks up from the blade he was sharpening. "What does Thanos want with the baby? What is she going to be able to do that no one else can?"

His alien golden eyes widened at the question, "Have you not worked it out yet?" Uial runs a clothe over the gleaming metal, then sheathes the sword.

Uial stands up and walks over to her. "You, as a mere human, hurt him badly. Could you imagine what your daughter will be able to do to him? To anyone?"

At her confused look the shapeshifter leans closer to her and, lowers his voice, "Under the Titan's reign she will have all the worlds at his feet. And then he will have her destroy them."


	11. Chapter 11

Author's Note: This one's a shortie because it's the prelude to the storm!

Disclaimer: Still does not own Loki...

* * *

"Pain, unlike pleasure, wears no mask."

~ Oscar Wilde

* * *

"_Loki!" _Thor bellows his name as he throws open the door to his chamber hard enough it cracks after hitting the wall. He bounds into the room like he had done countless times when they were children; with endless enthusiasm, because he wanted Loki to accompany him on some adventure or another.

Thor skids to a halt, and he is shocked momentarily speechless at the sight of the mess that Loki's room become since Odin had confined him to it. His normally neat brother had let his bedroom devolve into something even _he _would object to, Thor thinks as he looks around with wide eyes.

Books were scattered across every available surface, wads of paper were balled up in drifts on the floor, and then there was Loki himself. His pale skin was spattered with ink, and he looked like he hadn't slept in weeks. His brother was sitting at his desk working on what looked like a drawing of the pathways of Yggdrasil, and his green eyes are haunted as he looks up at him.

"Loki, I have wonderful news!" Thor burst out. "It is-"

Loki scowls as he cuts him off mid-sentence, "Do you no longer bother to knock?"

"Never mind the knocking! Mother has gotten Father to agree to speak with you about the Lady Rose!" Thor said excitedly.

Loki has Thor by the shoulders, and is shaking him _hard_ before he can get another word formed in response. "_How? _How has she done this?"

"I believe that Mother has shown him the error of his ways," Thor said with a short laugh.

At Loki's icy stare he capitulated.

"She has shown him how necessary the girl will be to the future of Asgard. That and I believe he is weary of locking horns with Mother," Thor said with a grin.

Loki snorted out a humorless laugh, "If Odin ever thinks that crossing Frigga would end well for him, then he has not been paying close enough attention these long years."

When he makes for the door, Thor grabs his arm, "You cannot go before Father looking like that. Take a moment to make yourself presentable."

"Is it true then?" Thor asks, as he waits for him to change.

"Is what true?" Loki replies absently as he starts changing clothes. He tugs the clean tunic over his head, then runs a brush through the tangled mess of his hair. He scrubs his face clean of ink, and when he looks at his reflection he decides that it will have to be satisfactory, because he isn't going to take time to do more.

"That you are to be a father?" Thor says curiously. "We all heard the Titan's words."

Loki swallows hard, then meets Thor's blue eyes, "I did not know then, and now … even if Thanos spoke true-" He has to clear his throat before he can speak again, "The Titan will hurt her for my failing him."

"We will get her back for you," Thor says gravely. Then he pulls Loki into a hug, "Then we shall have the celebration of our lives after we do. You are to be a father!"

* * *

Loki wonders if the All-Father can his hear his heart trying to pound itself free from his chest, because he does not remember the last time he was so afraid. He has come to ask him for help, and he knows there is no chance, no hope at all that Odin will aid him in this, but still he has to ask, because the only other option is to fail her, and that he cannot do.

Odin looks up at him, and the All-Father's pale, blue-eyed gaze is as unreadable as it has ever been. Frigga is sitting with him, and it is the worry in her eyes for him that makes him feel like he is but child again that has done some mischief, and is about to be punished for it.

"I need you to help her. The Titan will see her slain if for no other reason than to punish me for failing him," Loki looks up after he speaks, and sees Odin studying him.

"And what is it exactly that you would have me do? Go to war with the Titans over _one_ girl? She is not Asgardian, not Aesir. What is her value to us?" Odin raises a brow as he waits for Loki to answer him.

"Thanos wants her child for-"

"_Her _child?" Odin cuts his words off sharply. "Is it not _your _child as well?"

Loki swallows hard, "Yes, but it will not be-" and the rest of what he wants to say - _that the child will not be one of us _- dies in his throat. Because _he_ is not one of them.

And he wants to howl at the pain of it.

"It will be an abomination. A monster," he whispers.

The loud _thwack _of his mother's hand slapping the polished wood of the table breaks him loose from his thoughts.

"You are my _son_," Frigga's blue eyes were filled with tears. "And that is your _child_ of whom you speak. I have seen her, and she will be-"

"She?" Loki swallows hard.

"Yes," Frigga says. "I have seen your _daughter_."

Odin waves her words aside, "Do you not see? It makes no difference to him. Any of it. This daughter of his that he will not claim? He just named her monster. His Rose, as you called her. What does she matter? She is just one more worthless mortal in his eyes."

Loki stands up and grips the back of his chair so hard he can feel the wood creak under his hands. "Thanos will _kill_ her. I-"

"It does not _matter_ what the Titan does with the mortal. The child will be powerful, yes, but it will be many long years before she comes into her powers and such a future would come to pass," Odin says bluntly.

When Frigga makes a sound of protest, Odin silences her immediately.

"_No. _He has to decide which way he wants this to play out. He can keep punishing us, keep punishing himself, or he can move beyond this and start living again," Odin says harshly. "But he has to make a choice."

Odin asks it of him again, "What do you want?"

"He will _kill_ her," Loki's voice breaks shamefully, and he grips the chair harder to hide how badly his hands are trembling now.

"It matters not. She is one mortal out of many. What is one person worth?" Odin demands again.

Loki grabs the back of the chair and hurls it at the wall with a wild cry of pain. "She is worth _everything_," he screams it at his father. "Everything that matters."

And truth of it drops him to his knees, and Loki knows he will not survive this.

He feels Odin grip his shoulders, and when his father gives him a gentle shake he thinks back on easier times, and it breaks him so completely he almost misses the All-Father's next words.

"Your Rose has brought you back to us, Loki. She will be mother to our grandchild. We will not leave her to suffer such a fate," he says gently.

Loki is weeping when he looks up at him, and he thinks for the first time that maybe his father didn't abandon him after all.

Loki finds his mother- _for all his protestations she will never be anything _but_ his mother- _in her weaving room, and he can tell that she has been expecting him by the way she doesn't look up from the tapestry she is working on. It will be a massive work when it is completed, and the border of it is composed of runes. Loki can see that they are invocations for protection, and the sense of foreboding it gives him sends a frisson of fear through him.

Frigga looks up from her needlework and answers his unspoken question, "Her journey will not be easy, but she will be made all the stronger for it." She gives him a gentle smile, "She will be so beautiful."

He realizes then that she is talking about his unborn daughter, and has to clear his throat before he can speak, "I had not thought to have children. Even before …"

He walks over to look at Frigga's shelves of thread. They cover row after row in every imaginable color and texture, and he runs a finger over a soft grey silk as he continues, "And afterward, when I found out that I was Jötunn … How could I force a woman to love me?"

Frigga makes a soft sound, and walks over to him and tips his chin up so he has to meet her eyes, "You would never have to _force_ anyone to love you."

Loki gives her a thin smile, "When Thor first brought me to Midgard I truly no longer cared if I lived or died."

He sighed, then scrubbed a hand over his eyes, "Rose opened her home to me, and in doing so made it mine as well. I had never thought to want to be anywhere but Asgard, but now home to me is wherever Rose is. She sees me true in a way I thought no one ever would."

Frigga wraps her arms around him and hugged him tightly, "It is a rare thing to have a person see the heart of another. She is a true match for you then."

Loki huffed a laugh, "She is a thought-sifter. I was horrified at first. I didn't think my illusions could hold up under her scrutiny, but in the end it did not matter to her."

He sighs, then walks over to study the tapestry again. "I have tied her to myself like you twine the threads together, and I do not know how to unbind her," he confesses.

"Why, if something has been made stronger would you wish to undo it? Sometimes the finished work is made all the finer by the new additions," she says archly. "Sometimes you need to leave well enough alone."

Loki raises a brow at her, "And when have you ever known me to show such wisdom?"

"She will suffer for my failures," he whispers, because he can barely stand to say the words aloud. Thanos will hurt her because of him, and the knowledge carves its way into his heart like a blade.

Frigga purses her lips as she looks at him, "Rose will endure. This is not the first time she survived the attention of a madman."

* * *

She knows she is dreaming, because if Grady were really dead she would have known. But in her dream, he is dead.

She can feel his cold fingers grip her shoulder, and before she can turn around and see his face she knows that he is dead. He tightens his grip on her as he whispers in her ear, and she can feel her skin crawling at the feel of him.

"Do not look him in the eyes, for he is the God of the Lost. The god of all things that are pain, and darkness, and everything that makes you hold a hand out in the night and pray for someone to come for you. Do not let him _see_ you, for what is once seen, cannot be unseen. And then he will know you," he whispers the words to her, and she starts to cry.

And when he finally lets her turn, Rose can see that he is long dead. His grey eyes are filmed with a milky-white and she can feel the scream building in her throat.

"Do not let him see you."

"Do not let him touch you."

And she can feel the scream fighting to get out …

and Grady cannot be dead.

_Please. I need to wake up_, she thinks.

he cannot be dead.

oh my god, please make it stop …

GRADY IS NOT DEAD!

_wake up, wake up, wake up _…

"_**NO!" **_And she screams herself awake.

* * *

Rose can feel her hands shaking as she pushes the hair back from her face. She doesn't want to think about her nightmare. Grady is fine. She knows it. She also knows that she doesn't want to think about what he was telling her in the dream, because if the God of the Lost is real, nothing in the world could stand against that. The sick dread of it makes her bury her face in her hands.

_It can't be real, can't be real, _she thinks over and over. It is a long time before she falls back to sleep.

The next morning she is trying to remember the dream clearly, but in the light of day it eludes her, and it seems the harder she tries to recall it, the more it fades away. She turns her attention to the shapeshifters and Rose can tell the three Chitauri are arguing, but they are speaking in the guttural language of their home-world and she doesn't know what they are saying. Except she knows it has to do with her because they keep looking over at her. Tafeer had been giving her looks that are making her skin crawl, and her suspicions are confirmed when Uial switched to English.

"You will not touch her," Uial growls at Tafeer.

The words eerily echo Loki's when he had threatened Thanos, and Rose is up and on her feet as she keeps a wary eye on the Chitauri. For all that they look amazingly alike, there is a sense of _something_ about the slightly thinner shapeshifter that makes her not want to turn her back on. She doesn't trust Argass as she does Uial, but Tafeer scares the shit out of her in a way the other two do not.

"Thanos only said that she needs to be kept alive," Tafeer snarls at Uial. "He said nothing about her being untouched."

"_I _say she will be untouched, and anything you visit upon her will be done to you as well," Uial growls at him.

Tafeer spits on ground at his feet, and Uial lashes out and grabs the other Chitauri by the armor and pulls him closer until they are face to face, "I will rape you until can no longer walk, and then I will let Argass finish you."

Tafeer's eyes dart between Uial and Argass, and when Argass bares sharp teeth at him, he storms from the room.

Uial gives Argass a command in their language, and whatever he says makes the other shapeshifter laugh before he leaves the room.

"What-" her mouth is dry with fear, and Rose has to clear her throat before she can continue. "What was that about?"

Uial's eyes are bright gold with rage, "He will not touch you. He is afraid now."

"I need to get out of here," Rose says hollowly. She can not, _will _not have her daughter here, and-

"You will never escape from here," Uial rasps at her.

Then he takes her by the hand and places it on his temple, and she knows what he is planning.

"I will take you out for your walk now." Uial hands her a cloak as he ushers her from the room, "Come human."

As they walk through the barren landscape of whatever world they are on, Uial begins talking after they are away from the prison.

"I was mated," he said gruffly. "My youngling died during his first year after the Titans took over my world."

All Rose can do is stare at him, and then he nudges her to get her moving again.

"Keep walking in case we are being watched." They walk in silence for a few minutes before Uial deems it far enough, and stops to continue speaking, "Liet died trying to fight off a Titan." His eyes shine with a fierce pride, "You have her spirit, I could see it in your eyes when you slew Arkhe. You have a rare courage."

Rose feels tears slide down her cheeks, because for all his stoic appearance the Chitauri is still bleeding inside over his mate's death. "I don't feel like I have courage. I feel scared to death inside."

"True courage is fighting even when you are afraid," Uial puts a huge hand on her shoulder. "Thanos will burn all the worlds to ash and use your child to do it. We cannot allow this to happen. The Chitauri will not be slaves to the Mad-Titan any longer."

"Argass and I have vowed to see you safe from here. When it is time, you will call to the Asgardian gatekeeper, by now they will have him looking for you."

Rose gestures to the round curve of her stomach, "It has to be soon or I won't be able to move quickly enough."

"It will be soon," he agrees.


	12. Chapter 12

Author's Note: I am so sorry it took me so long to get this posted. My life went insane and so did I, but things are mildly back on track now. Again, very sorry about the long delay.

Disclaimer: Still not mine.

* * *

"_All my life my heart has yearned for a thing I cannot name."_

~ Andre Breton

* * *

"Have you seen her?" Every day Loki comes to the Observatory and asks Heimdall the same question. And every day he has gotten the same answer.

Today, Hemidall turns his far-seeing gaze to Loki before he speaks, "How is it that this one mortal has wrought such a change in you? Before you would have not thought twice about the fate of a mere girl, let alone be so desperate to find her."

"When we were children, Thor and I, he asked me what the one thing was that I valued above all others, and I really could think of nothing other than my magic that truly mattered that much to me," Loki said quietly. "Thor laughed, and said that some day there would be one thing that I could not live without, and I never really believed him. Nothing could matter to me that much. I would never _let _it matter that much."

Loki huffed a laugh, but there was little humor in it. "And then there was Rose, and I finally realized that Thor was right." Loki met Heimdall's eyes then, "She is the one thing I cannot live without."

"I have not seen the girl," Heimdall says after a long moment. "But I have seen Thanos, and he will not escape my sight now. It is only a matter of time before I can find the girl."

The relief staggers him, and all he can do is say what he should said long ago, "Thank you."

* * *

Grady was standing out on the balcony that overlooked Asgard when he found him. His face was still pale, but he had healed well from the wound the Chitauri had given him that had almost claimed his life.

"She's alive," Grady said fiercely after a moment of silence, as if by saying it aloud he could make it be true. "If she were dead, I would know."

He cocked his head to the side as he studied Loki for a minute, the God of Mischief on the other hand, looked like hell.

"You look like hammered shit," Grady said bluntly. He grinned when Loki's eyes widened in shock at his words before he scowled at him. "What, not used to the plebians speaking so boldly to your royal ass?"

"No," Loki replied with a sneer. "The commoners of Asgard know their place better than to speak so to the royal family."

Grady snorted a laugh, "I dare you to say that shit in front of Rose. She'll hand you your ass on a plate."

He tiredly scrubbed a hand over his face, "So what did Heimdall have to say this time?" He rolled his eyes at the look of surprise that Loki gave him, "C'mon, it's not a big secret that you've been to see him daily. I've been all over his ass too, but he just gives me this look like, _"know your place mortal" _and tells me that he hasn't seen her, and that he's not a crystal ball."

"He has seen the Titan, but as of yet has not caught sight of your sister." At Grady's crestfallen look he continued, "He will find her though, nothing can escape Heimdall's gaze once he has seen you, and where the Titan is, Rose is sure to be as well."

Loki poured a glass of wine for himself, and a second for Grady and they drank in companionable silence as they looked out over the city.

"He will pay for what he has done to her," he said suddenly, surprising himself with the need to comfort the boy. "Any harm that has befallen her will nothing as to the pain Thanos will feel when I am done with him," he spat viciously.

"Promise me," Grady said fiercely. "Promise that he'll die for what he's done to her." He sat the glass down and walked over to the edge of the balcony before he continued speaking. "We've always been able to read each other, even when we didn't want to. It's been that way our whole lives."

Grady sighed, "She thought that I'd hate her for what she did to our mom, and for a while a part of me _did_ hate her for it. I thought if she hadn't gone to work for SHIELD, if she had just let herself heal after Katie died …" His voice trailed off, and he took a shaky breath before he continued, "But she was just wild with grief, said it was all her fault. That if she hadn't been so fucking arrogant, been smarter, she could have saved her." He paced as he talked now, as if by moving he could escape his own thoughts, "After I calmed down, I realized that nothing I could say or do was worse than what she was doing to herself. She completely closed herself off from everything and everyone, like she would never be able to be worthy of being able to enjoy life anymore."

"It didn't help that she could feel how much Dad hated her for it," Grady gave a bitter laugh. "There's the real downfall to being a mind-reader. No one can ever lie to you. Even when you'd really want them too." He gave himself a mental shake, and looked at Loki who had just been listening to him talk, "She was different with you though. I could hear it in her voice when she asked me to help heal you. It was like she was coming to life again, like she was finally giving herself permission to go on living again."

"You scared the shit out of me when I first met you," he confessed. "Rose had been so fragile, like one wrong move and she would just shatter into a million pieces, and that's never been her." He laughed, "She'd be so pissed at me for hearing me talk about her like that, but it's true. You scared me, because I could tell you could be the one to help her bring it all together again, or be the one to destroy it."

"And that's all the girly confessional I have in me for today," Grady said as he drained his glass in one long pull.

"She has wrought many changes in me as well," Loki said grudgingly.

"You love her, don't you?" Grady asked, then roared with laughter when Loki choked on his wine. He gave Loki a companionable whack on the back as he watched the Norse god gasp for air. "I think that-" He stopped speaking, and froze in place as they both saw the flash of light coming from the Observatory that heralded the Bifröst coming to life.

"Rose," he whispered. "I can feel her."

They looked at one another, and then Loki vanished in a swirl of light that had Grady cursing him as he was left to follow the old-fashioned way.

* * *

Loki skidded to a stop in the hall at the sight of his mother, and felt his heart give a wild thud at the sight of the smile on her face, and he knew, _he knew, _that she was alive, and the relief staggered him.

"Where is she? Is she well?" The words seemed to tumble out of him unbidden, "She was gone when I arrived at the Observatory, and Heimdall said she was taken to the healers immediately."

Frigga gave him a gentle smile, "It was just a precaution, since she is with child. She is thinner than I would like, but I believe she is well enough. One of the Chitauri is with her. He helped her to escape, and has sworn his fealty to her." Frigga shook her head at the thought, then laughed quietly, "He will be one of the most unusual guards at the palace now."

Something in her eyes belies the lightness of her words, and is making his hands want to tremble, and he can feel the breath hitch in his chest, "What is wrong?"

"She has been through a true trial by fire I think, but she has the heart of a warrior. I believe she will be fine given time," Frigga says, and stands on her toes to kiss his cheek. "She needs you Loki. Go to her now."

Loki can think of nothing to say to that at all, the idea of anyone _needing_ him is still so foreign to him, so he just bows to his mother and goes without another word.

He knew to expect it, but Loki still pulls up short at the sight of the Chitauri standing guard by the door to his chambers. He is massive as are all of the shapeshifters of his kind, and he watches him closely as he approaches but when he comes to a stop in front of him the Chitauri cocks his head to the side studying him as well, and then he _growls_ at him.

Loki summons a dagger to his hand, and the Chitauri unsheathes the sword at his hip with a smooth practiced motion and a whisper of sound.

"You would offer to protect her now? When you failed her so miserably the first time?" He snarls the words at him, then spits on the ground at his feet.

Loki can feel his eyes widen, and rage washes over him at the insult. He can feels months of worry and fear inside him ignite, because he _finally _has a target, and he has the dagger at the shapeshifter's throat in a blur of speed, "How _dare _you speak-"

"She is mate sick. Has been for months because you did not seal your bond with her," the Chitauri snarls at him, contempt dripping from each and every word as he speaks. "How could you leave her unprotected like that?"

"What would you know of it?" Loki demands.

"More than you do Jötunn," he replies with a sneer as he taps the side of his neck. "If you had truly bonded yourself to the girl you would have a mating mark as well. Instead you tie her to you with no honor at all."

Loki can feel himself bristle at the shapeshifter's barbed words but saved having to answer, _though in truth he doesn't really know what to say_, by the healer opening the door.

She blanches visibly at the sight of the Chitauri, but regains her composure and curtsies to Loki. "Your Lady is bathing now. The Queen has given her a sleeping draught to take after her bath so she will be able to rest. She and the babe are well but for some cuts and bruises that should heal cleanly."

Loki finds himself nodding mutely at the Einherjar, and he gives the Chitauri one last dark look, then takes a deep breath to steady himself and goes to her. He can feel the awareness of her thrumming through him, and wants nothing more than to _see_ her, to reassure himself that she is well and unharmed.

Rose is lying back in the bathtub with her eyes closed, but he can see that she is aware of him by the way she stiffens when he walks in the room, then she sits up with her eyes downcast as though she is afraid of_, please don't let it be me_, something.

"I haven't been brave enough to look in a mirror. How bad is it?" She glances up, then slowly turns so that Loki can see the whole of her face.

Rose has a black-eye that stands out in stark relief against her grey eyes, her bottom lip is split and swollen, and she has a bruise running along her jaw that is turning a spectacular shade of purple and black. Long dark hair is plastered to her head, and she looks like she hasn't slept for days.

And yet, she has never been more beautiful to him. This Midgardian girl has captured what is left of his heart, and made herself intrinsic to him in a way he would have never believed to be possible, and it strikes him to the very core of his being the truth of what he has been denying to himself.

He loves her.

The knowledge hits him like a blow to the heart and steals the words from his mouth. All the things he had planned to say to her vanish under the onslaught of this damning wave of sentiment. The irony of it should strike him dead on the spot, but all he can do is stare at her in disbelief that she is sitting before him, alive and well, and _his._

Loki walks over to stand beside her, and silently holds a hand out to her to help her up and she takes it, then just as quickly lets go and sinks back in the steaming water with a look on her face he cannot begin to read.

Realization dawns then, and Loki backs up and he can feel the shame and sting of her refusal of him all the way to his bones. He swallows hard as he looks down, and finds he cannot bear to meet her gaze. Cannot bear to see the refusal of him in her eyes. His voice is hoarse when he speaks again, "You are right to blame me, if I had not-"

"No! That's not it at all!" Rose shakes her head as she denies his words. She runs a wet hand over her face, and winces when she touches the bruise along her jaw.

Loki can see frustrated tears glimmer in her pale grey eyes and is at a loss, "Then what is wrong?" He is baffled at her apparent shyness. Then he blanches as he thinks of Thanos, and wonders what horrors were wrought upon her by the Titan to make her so.

Rose sighs, "You asked for it."

And when she gets up, all Loki can do is stare.

Loki watches with widening eyes as she stands up, the water sluicing down her body and is shocked speechless. In reality, he had known before she was taken that she was with child, but truthfully they were just words thrown at him, the taunts of any enemy. But now? Well, it is obvious. Her stomach is now full and round, and the skin is taut over the bulge of the child, and as he watches there is a ripple of movement under her skin that has her pressing her hand to her side.

"Are you well?" Loki asks tentatively.

"I'm alright," she whispers, but the words catch in her throat, and he can see a tear run down her cheek.

Loki teleports himself to her and pulls her to him without another word, luxuriating in the feel of her with him again, and at first he ignores the hard press of the baby until he feels a flurry of kicks against his side, and it makes him draw back with a start.

"I think the heat from the water woke her up." Rose huffs a laugh at the round-eyed look of surprise on Loki's face. Green eyes flash from her stomach to her face, and she answers the question he does not ask.

"Yes, of course. She's your daughter too," she says quietly.

Loki gingerly places his palm on her side, and he can feel the life inside of her respond to his touch with a sense of awareness that has him glancing up at Rose in stunned disbelief. He can feel her, and she is … curious about him.

"Yeah, she's kind of a force of nature," Rose says with a wry laugh when she can feel the baby respond to Loki.

He reaches out with his mind to the baby again, and this time he smiles involuntarily at the soft touch of her mind reaching back out for his.

He kisses Rose carefully because of her split lip, and when she buries her face against his chest he lets himself hold her as he has longed to do all this time since she was taken. He runs a shaking hand over her wet hair, and dries it with a thought and then scoops her up and carries her to his bed, their bed now, because he will not be parted from her again. Foolish mortal girl, she should have ran the first time she laid eyes upon him for she is his now and he will not let her go. His mother was right, she was too thin. For all the bulk of the baby, he can feel her ribs under his hands all too easily, and the shadows under her eyes tell how many sleepless nights she's had.

"You need to rest, then I would know how you escaped the Titan," he says as wraps his arms around her. She has her head resting on his shoulder, and when he runs a hand over her skin, a part of him wants to laugh as he feels the baby squirming under his palm.

"If it hadn't been for Uial and Argass I would have died," Rose can feel tears burn in her eyes at the thought of Argass. "_We_ would have died," she says as she runs her hand over her stomach where the baby is kicking her. "Argass gave up his life to save us." And that is when she breaks, and Loki holds her while she cries and long after she has fallen asleep.

* * *

The two Chitauri had taken her out for a walk in the never-ending desert landscape where it is always hot, though the heat never seems the penetrate the chill that seems to run through her constantly now. The baby seems to like it though, and reacts to the wave of warmth from the evening sky like a cat stretching in the sun. The thought makes her smile, the Frost Giant's daughter who loves the bask in the heat. They had been walking a slow circuit around the outside of the Titan's hold when she has the conversation with Argass and Uial that leaves her mouth hanging open in shock.

"I can't do magic!" Rose said with a laugh, and it's then that she realizes that they're serious because the shapeshifters just stare back at her in silence. "If I could have done it, I would have turned Thanos into a fucking cockroach and stamped on him." She can feel the rising hysteria in her voice, but can't make herself quit now, "And Tafeer? I would have lit that creepy little prick on fire!"

"Are you kidding me?" Rose shrieked in fury. She knows the Chitauri are baffled by the vernacular, but months of bottled up fear and anger are making her brain want to explode.

"All I want to do is get out the fuck out of here!" She screams it at them. "I just want to go home," she whispers as she drops to her knees, and starts to cry. Rose cries until her throat hurts and she can't breathe and she can feel one of them crouch down next to her, and then the weight of a hand on her shoulder.

"You can stay here, like this, or you can learn to fight. What do you choose girl?" Uial says tonelessly.

"I'm scared," Rose says as she looks up at him.

"You can be afraid, but you have to fight. You have to fight or your mate and child will die," Argass tells her.

Rose takes a deep breath, "What do I do?"

"The first magic is usually fire," he replies. "You are inclined to magic with your ability to read minds, and the way you can heal." Argass growled out at laugh, "Or kill. You just need to channel it in a different direction."

"Picture it in your mind," Uial tells her. "Your child is the daughter of a god, he is one of the most powerful sorcerers that has ever lived, let her magic help guide you."

And she can feel a brief flicker of … something at his words. She ignores the heat, the twilight sky that never seems to change and closes her eyes. She pictures the fire that she'd seen on Vanaheim, the cold blue light that seemed to move with a will of its own, and she extends her hand with the palm up.

When she opens her eyes, there is a small green flame dancing in the palm of her hand. The color makes her laugh, and she wipes a tear away as she whispers his name.

The two Chitauri exchange pleased looks, then Argass ruffled her hair and gave her a rare smile. "Again," he says.

Rose closes her hand, putting out the viridian flame. "Again," she agrees.

Later she would swear that Thanos could read minds as well, and knew what they were planning. His visits which had been infrequent since he first assigned the Chitauri guards to her, suddenly seemed to be daily. And they were getting weirder. He would come and just stare at her until she wanted to throw something at him or scream just to break the tension. Other times he would run his hands over her stomach, talking to himself or the baby in the language of the Titans. She knew her daughter was aware of him, but she would never respond to him, like she realized he was a danger and would do nothing to draw his attention. He would lick her skin, and when she couldn't hold back a cry of revulsion, he snarled at her, and then left without saying anything.

"Why does he do that?" Rose scrubbed a shaking hand over her skin as she spoke.

"Calm yourself girl, he will not hurt your babe," Uial said quietly, as he gripped her shoulders. Then he took her hand and placed it on his temple, and Rose felt her eyes widen at what he was thinking.

* * *

Rose screamed her way out of the nightmare and clung to Loki like he was the last solid thing in the world, and just let him hold her. She was shivering almost non-stop as she told Loki what had happened before and after their escape, "The Chitauri taught me how to conjure fire." She held out her hand palm up, and a tiny, emerald flame danced over her skin.

"The baby," Loki whispers, even as his eyes shot wide at the sight.

"I know. The color, right?"

"So when they took me out for my evening walk, I lit the building on fire," Rose gave a ghost of a smile. "I was so nervous I didn't think that magical fire would respond to my emotions like my other abilities do. So what was supposed to be a small, controlled fire went off like a nuclear-bomb instead, and half the compound blew up."

"There was another guard, Tafeer," Rose can feel her breath hitch in her throat, can feel scalding tears trail down her cold skin, and had to swallow hard before she could continue. "He caught us as were running, they had me call to Heimdall to summon the Bifröst, and it was opening, I could see it, we were _so_ close to making it."

"He was just _there_, in front of me and all I could see was the sword coming at me, and Argass pushed me into Uial, and he took the blow meant for me. It almost cut him in half, but he grabbed Tafeer long enough to slow him down, and then Uial killed him. He died telling me that the baby would be the one to end the Chitauri's slavery."

Loki pulled her tightly against him, "Then I will forever owe them a debt for seeing you back to me."

"I know Thanos didn't die in the explosion," she said. "He'll be coming for her."


	13. Chapter 13

Author's Note: This chapter got really smutty, so you may want to skip this one if it's not your thing. Ye've been warned!

Disclaimer: Still doesn't own a thing

* * *

"_Do not be afraid; our fate cannot be taken from us, it is a gift."_

~ Danté Alighieri

* * *

Loki green eyes were cold as the ice of Jötunheim as he spoke, "Then let him come. He will not catch me unaware twice. He will never lay his hands upon her." He took her hand and pressed a gentle kiss into her palm that was at odds with the hard look on his face. "The Titan will have a war on his hands if he dares try to bring a fight to Asgard again."

Rose kissed him, then threaded her fingers through his dark hair. "I've missed you for so long," she whispered. She rested her head against the hard muscles of his chest and closed her eyes as he wrapped his arms around her, and listened to the steady thump of his heart until she could finally feel herself finally start to relax enough to go back to sleep. She had almost drifted back off when Loki spoke again, and then his words jolted her awake with the force of a slap.

"Why did you not tell me about the babe?" Loki asked the question casually, as if he was inquiring about the weather, but she could feel every muscle in his body draw tight, as if he were bracing himself for a blow. Could feel a wave of sadness from him that must have prompted the question, the trepidation that she can sense has him dreading her answer, and so she sits up so he could see her face in the soft glow from the fireplace.

"I thought that you would hate me for it," she said simply. Whatever he had been expecting from her, that wasn't it because she watched as his green eyes shot wide at her words.

"Why would I hate _you_ for it?" Loki was completely bewildered by her answer. "I thought at first you would despise me for breeding an abomination on you."

Rose drew back away from him feeling sick, and it is her turn to dread the answer to a question that has to be asked.

"Is that how you really think of her?" She fights back tears as she fights down the urge to run from the room, but it is a near thing. "Is that what you thought when you felt her?"

Loki took a deep breath, and found he could only tell her the truth, "When Thanos first threw the words at me? I did. But now? No. Not since I-" He rubbed his hand over his eyes tiredly, and swallowed hard. "But I would not have blamed _you_ for thinking so," he said quietly. Loki made himself look at her, and found it was one of the hardest things he had ever done. The confusion on her face drove him to try and explain himself more fully to her, no matter how loathe he was to do so.

"I can never be … other than what I am. No matter how much I wish it to be otherwise." He watched as the comprehension dawned in her grey eyes then, and when a tear trailed slowly down her cheek he brushed it away with his thumb.

"I cannot promise you that she will never be looked down upon, or that she will never be thought as of something that is less than. Not all in Asgard know of my true parentage, but enough do that there will be … talk. Life will not always be easy for her."

Loki sees her draw back from him then, and he feels something inside him crumble into dust when she does it.

"I am sorry," he says, and to his utter horror his voices breaks when he says it.

She will turn from him now, he is sure of it. The world in which she was raised never had _monsters _in it that were real¾and she surely had never thought that her child would be treated as such, and, … and he cannot_ do_ this, he thinks. He will never survive it. Never.

Loki got up and walked over to stand in front of the fire, and he cannot stop himself from flinching when he feels the soft touch of Rose's hand on his back. He shudders when she kisses his shoulder, but he turns to face her when she tugs on his arm.

"Loki," Rose says his name as she reaches up and cups his face in her hands. "You did nothing to be sorry _for_. You've done nothing to hurt me. Nothing to hurt her." And it is the last that drops him to knees before her, the knowledge that his child, his _daughter_, would be branded a monster because of who her father was.

Rose runs her hands through his hair trying to think how to soothe him, and she can feel the pain that is tearing him up inside. She knows that she needs him; he has become as intrinsic to her as the need to breathe, but maybe, just _maybe_, for the first time she thinks that Loki might need her as well.

"Hear me sorcerer," Rose said gravely, and when he didn't respond she gave his hair an ungentle tug. Loki met her eyes then and gave her a look that had probably been making grown men piss themselves for longer than she's been alive, but she ignores the dark look, and gives his hair another hard yank.

"All that you are Loki Odinson, all that you've been, you are mine now." She kissed him hard then, could feel the cut on her lip start bleeding again, can taste the blood on her tongue. "You are mine, and I will not have another."

Loki wraps his arms around her and lays his face against the curve of her side, and when he looks up at Rose again, she bends down and kisses him softly this time and when she tells him she loves him, he can _feel _it as well, and it is like a hand being held out in the night when all hope has been lost. He is greedy and selfish, and if he had an ounce of honor he would let her go; but he is a bastard in every last sense of the word and she should have _run_ from him when she had the chance because he will never give her up.

"Min elskede," he says as he stands and he picks her up. He carries her back to the bed and sits down with her in his lap and kisses her. He can feel her in his mind, knows that he is finally _home_, and for the first time Loki opens his mind to hers and holds nothing of himself back.

He can taste the blood from the cut on her lip, and brushes a thumb over the mark and heals it with magic. Kisses her again, and runs his lips along her jaw and the bruise that marred her skin fades, then vanishes. Loki lies back and pulls her to him, and while the feel of her warm skin against him sends a wave a heat through him, he is content to just hold her and luxuriate in the feeling of having her in his arms again.

And even though Loki knows that Thanos will not give up, he feels oddly happy.

Rose raised up on her arm and looked down at him. Loki's black hair had fallen across the side of his face, and dark lashes stand out in bold relief against his pale skin. He is beautiful, and it sends a stab of pain through her heart that anyone would see him as less than he was, and she sees his lips quirk up in a smile when he picks up on her thought.

"You are mine now, Trickster," she whispers, and watches his lip quiver as he tries unsuccessfully to hold back a laugh.

"Alright, what's so funny?" Rose demands, as she tries not to laugh.

Loki gave her a broad smile, "I think you are the only person in the Nine who would dare lay such a claim on me."

"Good," she said with a smug smile, then she bends down and kisses him. Need swamps her then, and it's like she can't _breathe, _can't stand to not be touching him. Rose trails a hand down his body until she can wrap her hand around him and strokes him, feeling him harden under her fingers as he kisses her.

Loki sucks in a sharp breath in surprise at the contact, then catches her hand with his own. "You need to rest," he says a bit hoarsely. His skin tingles under her touch though, and he wants her as well.

"I don't want to rest," she said with an edge to her voice. "I want you to touch me and I want to feel you inside me. Inside my mind and inside my body." She kissed him again, then nipped his bottom lip when he didn't kiss her back.

"The Chitauri said that you had been ill from my not sealing the bond between us," Loki said intently. "I did not know that I could bond myself to another. I did not mean to-"

Rose can feel the rising anxiety in him, and put a finger against his lips. "I know you didn't, I can see it in your mind," she said. "I didn't know about the mate-sickness either until Uial explained it to me. I was … well, he said I was fading."

She sat back as she tried to think how to explain to him what it had like for her, "It was the weirdest thing. I'd lived out in the middle of BFE West Virginia for years by myself and I never had a problem with it, then a few weeks in a cage and I couldn't stand it."

Rose shivered as she remembered the awful aloneness of it; the constant ache for Loki that made it seem like her nerves were scrubbed raw, until she thought she would bleed to death inside from the longing for him. She knew Loki was waiting for her to continue, but she wasn't sure how to put it all into words; and she couldn't seem to get enough air in her lungs, and why wouldn't he touch her when he could see that she needed it so badly …

Loki could see the rising panic in her eyes, the fear that he would leave her. Foolish girl, he would never do such a thing, and he did the only thing he could think of to calm her.

He kissed her.

The bond between them roared to life in such a way that it made what had come before seem pale in comparison. He could feel the need that was drowning her, and Loki feels any sense of self-restraint break under the onslaught, and gave a ragged groan as he shoved himself inside her in one hard thrust. He froze when Rose flung her head back with a cry, and he worried for a moment that he had hurt her until he felt her nails scoring his back as she tilted her hips up to bring him closer, and he feels her inside his mind like a brand against his skin.

And he _wanted. _All the gods above and below he wanted her would never want another like he did her.

Loki didn't realize he had spoken the words aloud until he heard Rose answer him, and even then the words make no sense to him. He rolled them over so she was on top of him, sitting up so he could kiss her, he filled his hands with her breasts and ran his thumbs over her nipples, and he could feel how sensitive pregnancy was making her as she threw her head back with a moan. He ran his tongue up her neck, ran his lips over the lines that claimed her as his for the whole world to see and could feel Rose orgasm around him, through him, until he was shaking from it.

Rose was limp with pleasure, and Loki cradled her in his arms as he tried to calm his racing heart .The bond between them thrummed like a living thing and he can feel she is satiated and content. The panic that had driven her earlier is gone, and while everything in aches for release he will not see her injured just to satisfy a base urge. He had thought to seal the bond between them, but decides it can wait, even though the damnable words the Chitauri had thrown at him still buzz through his mind, and his thoughts are derailed by Rose wrapping her hand around his cock and stroking him slowly, and what blood is left in his brain vanishes at the sensation.

Rose ran a finger over Loki's bottom lip, then kissed him again. It started slow, but she can feel him tremble under her hands, and he moans as she runs her tongue over the skin on his neck as she strokes his cock with nimble fingers.

"Bond with me," she whispers the words against his lips. He gives her puzzled eyes until she asks him to shift to his Jötunn form, and then he gives her a mutinous look. "It only makes sense. Think about what we were doing right before my mark appeared," she insisted, then bit back a laugh when he flushed at her words. Equal parts lust and despair tangle inside him, and she can feel how much he wanted to deny what she was saying, how much he didn't want _this_ to be tainted, and …

"I love you," she said. Loki gave her an indecipherable look, but after a long moment he did as she asked without further protest. His deep blue skin seemed hot under her fingers and he shudders when she runs her a fingertip over the lines that decorated his chest then trails her hand back down his stomach.

Loki wants to argue, to protest but now the over-sensitized skin is covered in raised lines and the breath hitches in his chest at the feel of her fingers on him. When she takes him in her mouth he cannot help the soft groan that escapes him as she runs her tongue over the head of his cock, and as she licks the pearly drops of fluid off his cerulean skin he bites his lip to keep from spilling himself in her mouth.

Rose raises her eyes to meet his as she sucks him harder, and Loki cannot help arching his hips as she takes him deeper. He can feel a rush of heat down his spine, and he knows he is so close, and he can _scent_ her now and it is maddening to him, Loki starts to pull back but Rose murmurs a sound of protest as she keeps the pace slow and measured, and he feel his balls tighten as she runs her fingers over them, and then wave after wave of pleasure rolls through him, and he comes with a long shuddering moan.

When he can catch his breath he sees Rose grinning down at him, and he sits up and kisses her deeply, can taste himself on her tongue, and he wants her again. Loki rolls her onto her back, and kisses her neck, her breasts, and places a kiss on her round stomach as he slides down her body. He pulls her legs apart and drags his cheek over the soft skin of her thigh then licks her in a wet swipe that makes her cry out, and swirls his tongue over her clit. He smirks up at her, then closes his lips over her, sucking gently and alternating the motion with flicks of his tongue until she is quivering under his hands, and when he reaches up and plays his fingers over her stiff nipples she gasps his name as she comes against his tongue. Only when she is boneless with satisfaction does he draw back from her.

Rose has her eyes closed, but she can feel Loki crawl up next to her so she reaches out and pulls him down for a kiss. She runs her hand down his erection, and rubs her thumb over the slick crown and Loki inhales sharply at the feel of her hand on him. She pulls him to her by the cock and he pushes inside her in one long thrust, and she can feel the mark on her neck throb in reaction. She cants her head to the side and it is all the invitation he needs, because he bites down _hard_, and Rose comes with a startled shriek, and Loki shudders as the feeling rocks through him as well. He carefully rolls them over so she is on top and, she can see that his dark red eyes are wide and full of longing, and when she raises up her knees and slowly pushes down on him she can feel each line marking his cock as she takes him inside her.

Loki tightens his hands on her hips and sits up and the sharper angle tightens her around him, the heightened pleasure making him shiver in reaction. She rides him slowly as he thrusts his hips up to meet her, and he sees her bite her lip as she closes her eyes, and when he runs his tongue over the bond-mark on her neck and he can feel her muscles tighten around him.

Rose kisses him hard then, until they are both gasping and Loki pulls her tightly down on him as he tilts his head to the side. She runs her fingertips over the curved lines on his chest and over his collarbone , then follows the motion with her tongue. The raised marks are like satin against her lips and when she kisses the long muscle of his throat, he gasps, then sucks in a breath as he feels the graze of teeth on his skin.

He is seated to the hilt inside her when she bites down and finally, _finally_, claims him as her own. It burns like fire and Loki welcomes the pain as he feels her mark upon him settle deeper into his skin. He didn't realize he had closed his eyes until he opens them and sees Rose watching him¾and when he feels her light mental touch he reaches back out to her and she shatters around him and takes him with her in an endless loop of pleasure.

Later, Rose is draped over him, and by the feel of her thoughts is barely awake. He hears her huff a soft laugh against his chest and then she shifts to the side so she can look at him. He is once more Asgardian shaped and smiles at her as she gets up and pads naked across the room to the wash basin¾and Loki, almost, stifles a laugh at the slight duck-waddle to her gait.

She mock scowls over her shoulder at him, then freezes in place as he bolts upright, green eyes shot wide with surprise, and then bursts out laughing.

"What exactly is so funny? And you better not say me," she says with narrowed eyes.

"You might want to take a look in the mirror," he replied, then broke down laughing again.

"Way to make a girl feel good," she said dryly, then looks at her reflection to see what got him going.

"Holy shit," she yelps in shock. The bond mark had darkened to a find black scroll-work of lines, and looked like a really elaborate tattoo. She ran a fingertip over the curve of it and hears Loki suck in a breath at the touch.

Rose looked at Loki, and when she sees the matching mark on his neck, she gives a snort of laughter. "Uh, you might want to take a look in the mirror yourself," she said with a snicker. "We've got his and hers tattoos now."

Loki was across the room is a flash and stands behind her as he examines the mark upon his skin.

The lines on his neck are thicker, darker, but the eternity symbol is clear to see, and when he touches it he hears Rose huff a laugh. When he turns to face her though, there is a sheen of tears in her grey eyes and he pulls her to him with a sinking feeling in his chest. Does she regret this? She has tied herself to him now and-

"No, don't be an idiot. It's these damn pregnancy hormones," she said with a watery sniff. "They're making me all emo, and I love you," she blurts out. "All the insane shit that's going on and all I could think was that I was happy and everything goes to complete _shit_ for me when I'm happy and-"

Loki kisses her then, and pulls her close. "Then let us for now just enjoy this, and not worry about what is to come."

"Ha," Rose said. "Not worry? I can feel your brain plotting already."

Loki blinked at her, nonplussed at what she had said. "Just how well can you sift my thoughts now?"

"Easier than before," she said. "I think people of Asgard are harder to read than normal anyway because of the immortality. It makes your brains function differently than the people of Earth."

"But I am not of Asgard," he said looking away from her then.

Rose studied his face, sees the shame, and answers him bluntly. "At least part of your parentage is Asgardian Loki, it has to be. All the people of this realm have a similar pattern to their thoughts, and so do you."

"That cannot be. No person of Asgard would lie with a Frost Giant." Loki shook his head, "You must be mistaken. I think-"

"It's something to worry about later," she cut in. "Right now, there's someone at the door."

He wants ask her more questions, she has to _wrong, _but the distinct thud upon the door can only be Thor, and as if on cue, the door opens.

Loki spun around so Rose was behind him, and pins Thor with a glare for the intrusion.

"Brother, I need-"

"Will you never learn to knock?" Loki demanded. He can feel Rose shaking with laughter behind him and he cloaks her with magic to keep her from his brother's sight.

Thor ignores him and shoots a wink at Rose that has Loki growling in irritation at him. "Father wishes to speak to you immediately. He needs to speak with the Lady Rose as well, and asks you to bring the Chitauri when you come."

"Heimdall says he has lost sight of Thanos," he says gravely now. "Mother is coming with maids to attend your lady and will be here momentarily to help her dress." He gave Rose a wide smile as he clapped Loki on the shoulder, and was gone as quickly as he'd come in.

Bemused, Rose gave a short laugh. "He doesn't have a subtle bone in his body does he?"

Loki rolled his eyes, "Truly, you have no idea." He kissed her quickly, "I will see you in the All-Father's council-room." He was dressed and gone in a swirl of magic that made Rose laugh at the suddenness of it.

Rose held the neck of the robe closed as she went to open the door, only to give a squeak of surprise when Uial opened it from the other side for Frigga and two maids.

Frigga directed the servants; one who was carrying a tray with food, and the other one, who looked like she was buried under yards of material, to put the things on Loki's desk.

"Odin needs to speak with you, but you have time to eat and dress," Frigga says, and presses a kiss to her cheek that makes Rose smile.

"Ada will help you dress and bring you to the council-room when you are ready." She gives her a quick hug and is gone much in the manner of her firstborn, leaving Rose to prepare for her visit with the King.

And before she knows it, she's back in the tub, and out again, and a shy blonde girl is helping her do her hair.

Ada had pulled her hair back, and secured it with golden-combs that were decorated with moonstones. She'd worked magic on Rose's dark curls and instead of their usual untidy mess, they hung neatly down to the middle of her back in glossy waves.

The gown was amazing Rose thought as she looked in the mirror. It was a deep, dark green and was trimmed in gold cording that crisscrossed between her breasts, and the material felt like the finest silk against her skin. She took a critical look at herself; the mound of her stomach was obvious¾there was no disguising the pregnancy, but considering her usual fare was jeans and a t-shirt, she actually felt kind of girly for a change. Ada had lined her eyes with kohl and darkened her lashes, making the pale grey of her eyes stand out in stark relief against the black. Loki's bond-mark was bold upon her neck, the inky-dark lines of it on her pale skin made her smile at her reflection. _Mine, _she thought, then felt an immediate mental query from Loki in response that makes her laugh.

"Are you ready Lady Rose?" Ada asked. "I will show you to the King's chambers now if you are."

Rose blew out a breath, then nodded. "As ready as I'm going to be. Thank you Ada, my hair never does what I tell it to."

The maid gives her a quick smile, "You are most welcome Lady Rose. My sister says that I have a good hand with it." She hesitates, then speaks again, "She has curly hair like yours and when we were younger I would help her with it. She always fretted over her curls."

The maid bobbed a curtsey at her then that made her wince, but she followed the girl out into the hall. When Uial falls into place walking with them silently, Rose turns to look at him. "I thought that you had gone ahead with Loki," she said, surprised to see the Chitauri waiting for her.

"My place is with you and the child, not the sorcerer," Uial says in answer as they walk, earning a quick glance from the maid, though she offers no comment at his surly reply.

Rose feels a stab of pity for him, and hopes that she hasn't made him trade one type of slavery for another. She can feel the tension rolling off him, and when she puts a hand on his shoulder she can see Ada's eyes widen at the sight, but the girl keeps nothing even when Uial growls at the contact.

"Thank you Uial. I'm glad that you waited for me," she said. He hates her thanking him, she knows he feels that it is an inane and useless sentiment, but other than giving her an odd look, the shapeshifter says nothing and just silently nods at her.

When they come to a huge set of golden-door that are chased with runes, she can see the guards that are posted there bristle at the sight of the Chitauri, and it immediately pisses her off, and even though she knows they had good reason to be wary of the shapeshifter, it smacks of the reasons why Loki feels that their daughter would be an outcast among these people.

The guards are going for their weapons, and Rose makes her voice harsh with a note of command in it when she speaks. "_Enough," _she tells them and backs it with a firm mental push. "He is my sworn shield and the King of Asgard has requested our presence."

She ignores the guards, and turns to Ada in a panic then as she realizes she has no idea the proper way to address royalty in Asgard. "What's the proper way to address the King?" It hadn't occurred to her until then, and she curses herself for not asking Loki this earlier.

Ada studied her curiously, then smiled. "You would call him Your Majesty and you should kneel until he gives you leave to rise." She gives Rose's hand a reassuring pat, "You are consort to Prince Loki, but I would err on the side of caution."

Uial gives a derisive snort, probably it's the idea of her even having a cautious bone in her body, and she gives him a dirty look in return. "Be at ease. You are carrying an heir to the throne, he will not spurn you," he rumbled at her.

Rose took a deep breath, and then nodded. "Ok. I can do this," she said to Uial, then she straightens her spine as she gestures for the guards to open the door.

* * *

Min elskede - my beloved


	14. Chapter 14

BAM! This is what happens when I'm on vacation and get to do whatever I want!

Author's Note: Shit is hitting the fan in the next chapter! *shifty eyes*

Disclaimer: Still don't own it!

* * *

"_And he took her in his arms and kissed her under the sunlit sky, and he cared not that they stood high upon the walls in the sight of many."_

~J.R.R. Tolkien

* * *

Odin was deep in conversation with Loki and Thor who were seated on either side of him at a large table, which Rose was amused to note was _round_, when the guards announced her. They all stood as she walked in the room, and then Rose dropped to a knee and knelt before the King of Asgard. She sees Uial follow suit behind her and wonders if the Chitauri is as nervous as she is, somehow she doubts it, as he was used to dealing with Thanos. She keeps her head bowed as she hears footsteps approach, and then he speaks to her.

"You may rise," Odin says formally - but when she looks up, he offers her his hand. Rose takes it, and lets him help her to her feet and studies the King of Asgard for the first time.

He didn't have Loki or Thor's impressive height, but she could feel the weight of lifetime upon lifetime in his blue eye as he looked her over as well. Long whitish-grey hair flowed over his shoulders, and the white beard lend him a kindly appearance that was at odds with what she had heard about the Asgardian king. He was the All-Father - and somehow she thought that kindness couldn't always be a factor when you were the leader of an immortal race of beings. He hadn't had Loki executed for his crimes, but she remembers all too well the lash marks on his back that had carved their way to the bone beneath. No, she thought, not necessarily kind at all.

"I must thank you for attending this meeting. I know you must be worn from your ordeal, but the matter of the Titan cannot wait any longer I fear," he said. Odin placed her hand upon his arm and walks her over to the table, pulling a chair out for her to be seated next to Loki.

He walks back to where the Chitauri still kneels, and Rose can feel her heart trying to beat its way out of her chest as he looks with contempt at the shapeshifter's bowed head. Odin pins her with his gaze her as he gestures to Uial. "This is the one who assisted you in escaping from the Titan?"

"If it weren't for him I would not have survived. _We_ wouldn't have survived," Rose answered. Thinking it wouldn't hurt to remind him that she carried his son's child, she puts a hand on her stomach as she speaks again. "Thanos would have used her to destroy all the realms. He said she would be able to do what he could not, and put an end to it all."

"That is why he is known as the Mad Titan. His obsession with death and destruction have ever been ceaseless," Odin said dryly, then he turned back to Uial.

"You have betrayed one master for another. Why am I to believe that you will not do the same to the girl? She places great faith in you, bringing you here before me and speaking of your valor, when I believe that you have none," Odin says harshly. "Will you swear fealty to the girl before all? I think you would break an oath to me with the same dispatch that you have shown the Titan, but I believe you will find reason to stay loyal to your mortal."

"You will swear fealty to her now," he stated with finality. "Your sword," he said, and extended his hand for the Chitauri's weapon.

Uial looked up at the King of Asgard, then looks at Rose, and she sees no fear in his golden eyes. "I will swear my allegiance to the Lady Rose," he said. It is implied in the derisive tone that he owes Odin _nothing_, and she can see the All-Father narrow his good eye at the shapeshifter.

Rose got up when Odin gestures for her, and walks over to them on shaking legs. So many things could go wrong and if she's brought Uial here with her only to have him killed she doesn't think she can live with the guilt. She keeps her eyes down, because she's afraid of what Odin would see if he looked too closely at her now.

"Do you, Uial of the Chitauri, swear your fealty to the Lady Rose of Midgard? Will you protect your lady against all foes, even at the cost of your own life?" Odin asks.

"Yes. I will guard her and hers for all time. May my life be declared forfeit if I fail in this duty," Uial says the words gravely, and then he makes a cut across the grey skin of his palm and wipes the blood on the gleaming silver of the blade and offers it hilt first to Rose.

She took the sword from him, and makes a shallow cut across her own hand and blooded the hilt. "I accept your sword and protection." She hands the weapon back to him, and then says clearly for all to hear, "Rise and stand with me Uial." The massive shapeshifter stands and follows as she makes her way back to her seat. He stands formally behind her at the table, and some small part of her feels better knowing he is with her. Loki says nothing as she sits back down next to him, but she feels through their bond that he is not exactly pleased about the interaction. He takes her hand and gives her a reassuring smile, and she lets it go for now, though she will ask him about it later.

Loki stares hard at the shapeshifter, and while he knows that he is being petty and childish, a small part of him wants to say that she does not need the Chitauri's protection, that _he _will keep her safe. As if Uial can read his thoughts he lifts his lip in a silent snarl at Loki, as if he knew what he was thinking and was unimpressed thus far with his abilities.

"Now that that is out of the way, can we discuss the matter of Thanos being out of Heimdall's sight?" Thor said with a touch of impatience in his voice. "We need to take the fight to the Titan this time. His ceaseless contempt for the might of Asgard cannot be allowed to continue unchecked." He thumped his fist on the table for emphasis and earned a scornful look from Loki.

"If he has escaped the sight of Heimdall, how exactly do you expect us to find him?" Loki asked derisively. He sees Thor's blue eyes brighten with excitement and knows what he is going to say before he opens his mouth.

"If we can lure him in with Lady Rose and the child, make it seem that they are unprotected and vulnerable, he will be sure to come after them," Thor replies.

It is this very thing_, _the careless disregard for others that were in the path of what he wants that had helped to drive a wedge between them, and Loki slams his clenched fist on the table and can feel his temper snap as he surges to his feet in a blind fury.

"Absolutely _not_. You will _not _put the woman I love in harm's path just so you can have another tale to tell about your heroics at the next Thrimilici Festival!" Loki is leaning over his brother raging at him, and it takes him a full minute to realize that Rose is tugging on his sleeve. He turns to her, ready to berate her as well if she thinks to side with his brother against him in this, but her grey eyes are wide and full of emotion as she buries her face against his chest. The action surprises him, but then he notes that he has cracked the surface of the table where he smashed it with his fist, and he _had_ just blurted out that he loved her.

While yelling at his brother.

Loki sighs and pulls her close, resting his cheek against her head as he tries to calm his racing heart.

"I have Heimdall searching for him, and have warded the city against any intrusion," Odin says evenly, as if nothing untoward had happened, but there is a kindness is his blue eye that makes something in Loki's chest twist as the All-Father watches him cradling Rose to his chest. "Be at ease my son. We will not allow any harm to befall her or the child."

"The mighty Loki, brought low by the love of a mortal," Thor says with a wry laugh.

Loki itches to hit Thor with a blunt object, possibly Mjölnir, but instead huffs out a brief laugh when his brother holds up his hands in gesture for peace.

"We should celebrate," Thor proclaims as he lifts his goblet to Loki and Rose. "My brother has found happiness at last." There is a genuine kindness in his blue eyes that reminds Loki of when they were children, and Thor was the first one that he had ran to when he wanted to boast of an accomplishment, because his brother would always praise him and make him feel like he was worthy of being the younger son of Odin.

He cannot help but laugh at the irony of it then, it seemed it had always been the way between them. Thor had ever been his biggest tormentor and staunchest defender, it was their relationship in a nutshell.

"I believe the joy of new life is cause indeed for a celebration," Frigga says, then pins her eldest child with a steely look. "I am going to pretend that you did not just insinuate that we should use my first grandchild as _bait_ to lure in a madman."

Thor has the grace to flush at his mother's words and is shamefaced when he turns to Loki and Rose. "I would beg your pardon Lady Rose, Loki. It would seem you are right and I will never learn to think before I speak," he says quietly. "Is it no wonder that you have grown to despise me?"

Loki opened his mouth, then closes it with no idea how to reply to this, and is saved having to answer by Odin.

"We will speak of the Titan later," Odin says. "Tonight we will celebrate new life and new beginnings."

* * *

Rose flings herself at Grady like she'd done ever since he'd gotten so much taller than her, and he grabbed her and spun her around like he'd done countless times before. Grady draws back laughing, and it is an echo of when they were growing up when she'd been the one to catch him when he was the smaller one.

"Oh my God," he said laughing. "You look like a snake digesting a hippo." He grinned down at her, and ruffled her hair.

"More just like the hippo part, but thanks for the lovely imagery," she says with snort. "Let me see you." She tugs open the front of the loose shirt he wears and inspects the vivid scar that is on his chest. It must have missed his heart by inches and she fights back tears at the sight of it. "I'm so glad you're okay," she hugs him again hard, and she is fiercely glad to see him.

"Hey now, no girly tears Rosie," Grady gives her an shake. "Let me see my niece." He places his palm against her side and she can see his mind turned inward as he reaches out to the life inside her. He pulls back after a few minutes and laughs, "She's like a lightning bolt isn't she?"

"Okay, how are you really?" He tugs her hand and they start walking along the terrace that overlooks the city proper. Grady shook his head in amusement, "All the time I've been here now, and it still reminds me of something out of a movie."

Rose nodded and gives a short laugh, "Yeah, a really big budget one like _Cleopatra_." She sat down on an alabaster bench and runs a fingertip over the gold veining in the pillar next to it. "It was weird and scary as hell, and I thought for sure I was going to die." She gives a miserable laugh with no humor in it. "Uial and Argass saved my life. They look like the scariest of monsters, don't they? But Uial has been one of the truest people I've ever known."

"Yeah, I've met Uial," he said. "I don't get the impression that he's a big fan of all this." Grady gestured with a hand to encompass Asgard, the people, and the sprawling city below them in all it's golden glory.

Grady looked at her out of the corner of his eye, "You know that he loves you, don't you?"

"Grady, please don't," Rose groaned, then buried her face in her hands. "I don't want him to trade one kind of hell for another."

"Sis, if it's one thing I've learned is that people have a tendency to throw away more love in their lives than they keep," he gave her a one-armed hug. "It will work out." They watch the city unfold below them in silence before he speaks again. "Now what's this about a party tonight?" Grady laughs at the look of sheer horror on her face, and kisses the top of her head. "Well, at least there's going to be food."

"Thanks Grade, and you're right, there will be food," Rose leans her head on his shoulder and lets him regale her with stories about what he's been doing in Asgard while she was gone; but in the back of her mind, she keeps feeling like there is something she's forgetting and should remember to ask her brother but like the remnants of a dream, it is gone when she chases it too hard. Rose decides to sit back and just enjoy being with her brother. They are both alive and well, and she thinks she can worry about it later.

It is only later that she thinks if she had been able to recall what she had been made to forget it might have changed the outcome. But by then it was too late.

* * *

Odin is seated with Frigga, and watches as various nobles approach the table where Loki and Rose are seated and offer them well-wishes on the birth of their child. If they also ask in the veiled manner of court politicians if there is to be an upcoming marriage as well … Odin has no idea, and would admit at least privately he would like the answer to that question as well.

He had seen the shocked look that the Midgardian girl had given Loki when he had shouted at his brother that he loved her. He gives a brief chuckle at the memory, and thinks back to when his younger son had buried all feeling under a polite mask that he had shown to the world, with no one ever truly knowing his real thoughts. Not so any longer. Loki had shouted his love of the girl for all the hear, and while he was angry, nay, _raging_ at his brother, the feelings he had for the girl were real. It gave Odin hope that all might not be as lost for Loki as he had once feared it to be.

He studies the girl that has so captured Loki's heart and takes a critical look at her. She was slightly built, and for all the bulk of pregnancy she is slim under the green and gold gown she wears. Her arms were bared, and he can see lean muscle in her movements. Her hair hung in long, dark brown curls to the middle of her back, and delicate brows arched over her light grey eyes. Eyes that missed little, he thinks as she feels his scrutiny and turns, giving him a brief look that gives away nothing. He sees her laugh at whatever her brother has said to her, and when she turns her gaze to Loki, Odin can see love in her eyes when she looks at his son.

"She is lovely, is she not?" Odin says quietly to Frigga. "The girl who has won our Loki's heart."

"She is strong and she will need to be. But yes, she loves him and will make him happy," Frigga replies. "And whether he will say the words or not, he loves her as well."

"Say the words?" Odin huffed a laugh as he grinned at his wife. "He fairly screamed them for the whole of Asgard to hear." He kissed his wife's fingers as they watched the celebration of the news that there was to be an addition to the royal family of Asgard, and if Odin nods his head in the Midgardian girl's direction, well, it cannot hurt for her to know that he blesses their union as well.

It is the first time that Loki has been to a royal assembly of any kind since his return to Asgard with Thor over a year ago (unless you count his trial, and he does _not_) and he finds he has little stomach for the pomp and circumstance of it. Some of the very self-same people who had stood witness to his downfall and sentencing for punishment now congratulate him, and he finds the hypocrisy unpalatable. He struggles to bury the resentment, for he can feel that Rose is ill at ease with all the attention focused on her (though she handles it with the aplomb of someone born to it) and he would not make things more difficult for her. He knows that she is far out her element with all of the court's interest focused on her like this, and then he is drug from his gloomy thoughts by the deliberate feel of her hand upon his thigh.

Rose takes a sip of her water, then walks her fingers up Loki's leg to make him laugh. She can feel how abhorrent this whole thing is to him and she has a good idea why, so she gives him a wicked smile over the rim of her glass. He takes the offending hand and places a kiss on her palm in a not-so-subtle hint. She raises a brow at him, giving him an innocent look, then runs her fingertips over the bond-mark on her neck and hears him inhale sharply at the sensation.

Loki leans over to whisper in her ear. "I will make you pay for this later," he says with a heated glance, then he tugs her hand back down to his leg.

This time she can feel the hard ridge of his erection under her palm and she rubs her thumb along the length of him, making him squirm in his seat. Rose leans closer and then lowers her eyes demurely, "And how will you make me pay for such insolence Prince Loki? How should I beg for your forgiveness? On my knees perchance?"

At the vivid imagery he chokes on a mouthful of wine but recovers quickly, and laughs at her antics to distract him. She is wearing a green and gold gown, boldly wearing his colors for all to see and Loki feels the tightness in chest loosen at the sight of her smiling at him like that. Is it any wonder that he loves her?

"You made need just such a punishment, min elskede," he says solemnly.

When Rose makes a gesture with her tongue that is somewhat obscene, he is so taken in by her playfulness that he doesn't notice with Thor approaching with Fandral in tow for an introduction.

Later he will think that this is where he should have been paying more attention, but afterwards it was too late.

"Fandral has begged me for an introduction," Thor said with a quick grin. He offers Rose a hand and helps her to her feet. "My I present Lord Fandral, he is one of the Warriors Three and one of my closest friends."

"Lady Rose, I see that the claims to your beauty do not begin to do justice to you," Fandral says with a sweeping bow as he presses a kiss to the back of her hand. He gives Loki a smirk as he lingers over her hand altogether much longer than was proper.

Loki tightens his hand around the goblet and the wine freezes before he crushes it in his grip, shattering the glass. He sees Thor give him a worried look, but he cares not. He knows he should not be bothered by Fandral's clumsy attempts to goad him but he is _touching _her, and Loki can feel the shards of glass dig deeper into his hand as he seethes with fury at the insult being dealt by the libertine.

"What is that intriguing mark upon your neck Lady Rose?" Fandral runs warm fingers over her skin, and freezes when she draws back with a startled yelp of pain.

Rose claps a shaking hand to her neck as pain burned through her, but is saved having to come up with an answer by the crash of a chair overturning, and she hears someone give a startled oath. Loki has Fandral up on his toes with the tip of his dagger under his chin, and is between them before she can draw a breath to speak.

Loki eyes had turned from green to dark red, and he walks Fandral back away from Rose by digging the point of the knife in deeper into the blond man's skin. "I will break my fast with your balls if you dare touch her again," he says murderously. He can hear shocked gasps and the tittering of laughter, and Loki wants to _kill_ him where he stands, but he must attend to his mate. He can feel that she is in pain and confused, and without another word Loki scoops Rose up and teleports them back to his room.

Loki sits Rose down on the edge of the bed and kneels in front of her, tugging her hand down from her neck. The bond-mark looks the same, delicate black lines wend the symbol for eternity across her skin, but Rose looks ill. All color is gone from her face, then she turns a shade a green that has her running for the wash basin to be sick.

He pulls her hair back and runs a hand over her back, rubbing soothing circles between her shoulders. She gives him a miserable look, then retches again.

Rose moaned and ran a shaking hand over her face, then takes the damp cloth from Loki and wipes her clammy skin. "I have no idea what the hell just happened," she says in a hoarse rasp.

Loki wants to say that he truly wanted to kill Fandral, had wanted to gut him in front of all the nobles who had watched with such amusement, but somehow he thinks that is not what she is asking. "I am not sure either. It pained you greatly though," he is suddenly furious all over again with his brother's friend.

"I need to talk to Uial," she whispered. "When I was with Thanos, he had said something about not being able to tolerate another's touch." She leaves out the part where Thanos was threatening to have one of the Chitauri rape her in front of Loki. He still looks like he's plotting Fandral's death and somehow she doubts it would help the situation.

Loki looks somewhat less that thrilled by her request, but he steps into the hall and brings the shapeshifter back with him.

Uial's golden eyes take in the ashen shade of her skin, and the tremble in her hands as she runs the cloth over her face, and gives her a perfunctory bow that normally would have made her laugh.

"How may I serve?" Uial intones matter-of-factly, but she can tell he's amused and trying his best not to laugh at her.

"Oh, stop that shit," Rose fires back. "What happened to me?" She gestures to her bond-mark and the fact that she looks like she's half-dead.

"You are a true-mated pair," Uial said. "I have told you this before."

"But what does that mean _exactly," _Rose says with an edge to her voice. She wants to scream at him to just say it in plain English, but he would just give her a puzzled look, like he has no idea what she is talking about.

"_Exactly, _it means that you are _his, _and cannot withstand the touch of another male," he says gruffly. He answers the question in her eyes, and continues speaking without being prompted this time. "Others may touch you, but if there is intent behind it, the bond between you will reject it, violently if needs be."

Uial looks down then, and Rose feels like she's going to be sick thinking what he must have endured when his mate was killed. "Uial, I am so -" she wants to say she is _sorry, _but it is useless, and he would not welcome her pity. "I understand now," she says quietly. And she does.

The Chitauri relents a bit, seeing the misery in her eyes. "If you reconnect with your mate you will feel better," he says, and for once there is no hint of the disdain he normally shows for Loki in his voice.

Uial bows before he leaves the room, but for the first time he includes Loki in a gesture of respect that leaves her bemused and wondering what had brought on the sudden change of heart. She has her suspicions that it was the fact that Loki almost stabbed Fandral for just touching her, which just goes to show that men were men no matter where they hailed from.

Loki watches the Chitauri leave and he is stunned by what the other had said. He had equated the shapeshifters with the Jötunn's in the fact they were little better than animals, but now he is being proved time and again that what he has believed for so very long was in fact far from the truth. He drops to his knees in front of Rose and pulls her close burying his face in her hair. He will never regret the fact she is tied to him, and he hopes that this will not be the thing that drives her to wish she was not bound to him as well.

Rose burrows into his warmth and clings to him like he's the last solid thing in her world. She can feel the swirl of emotion in him and pulls back, smoothing a lock of inky-dark hair back from his face and kisses him, stealing his words with a kiss and the feel of her hands upon his body.

This at least he can give her, Loki thinks. He breaks off the kiss to run his lips over her neck and Rose cries out and he can scent her again, and just like before he loses all control of himself.

Loki is fumbling with the laces to his pants with trembling hands as Rose pulls her gown over her head, and he can think of nothing but to get inside her as fast as he can. He finally frees himself and when he touches the dark curls between her legs, she is wet for him. He sees Rose bite her lip to stifle a moan at his hand upon her and he thrusts inside her while he is still standing, she wraps her legs around him to pull him closer and he can feel his legs shaking as the pleasure steals the breath from his chest. He can't keep his lips from her neck, and he nips at her skin without giving in to the urge to truly bite, until she makes a frustrated sound and shoves herself back from him and sits up.

Rose pushes Loki back a step and drops to her knees in front of him, and gives him a playful smile that makes him suck in a breath. "I believe that I was supposed to beg for … something," she says, then runs her tongue around the head of his cock. She works him with exquisite slowness until he tightens a hand in her hair and she smirks up at him. His face is flushed with bright spots of color, and he gives a strangled moan when she wraps a hand around stroking him slowly.

"Well my Prince, have I been sufficiently chastised for my brazen behavior?" Rose puts a breathy note in her voice as she stands up, then laughs when Loki just stares at her blankly for a minute before he smiles at her widely enough that she can see dimples in his lean cheeks.

"I believe the punishment should suit the crime, my love," Loki spins her around and puts her hands on the bed. He licks the mark on her neck, and smiles against her skin as Rose throws her head back into his chest with a moan. He thrusts into her, and she pushes back in such a way he swears he feels like his eyes are rolling back in his head. "You are appalling short, but I suppose I will be able to endure," he laughs when she bites his arm in retaliation for the slur, and this time when he sets his teeth on her neck he bites her, holding her in place as she orgasms around him and Loki comes with a ragged moan as well.

Later, he is curled around her and is making shadow animals on the wall by the light from the candle. He trots a new one out, and while she has guessed them all correctly so far, this time he can tell he has her stumped.

"What the hell is that?" Rose laughs sleepily. "I even guessed Sleipnir right, you're just making things up now."

"No, 'tis a real thing," he insists. "It's Bilgesnipe." He tells her about them, and how he and Thor had once hunted them so very long ago. Rose has her head pillowed on his shoulder, and with her stomach pressed to his side he feels a flurry of kicks from the baby that make him laugh.

"She's wide awake," Loki says, then strokes his palm over his daughter to soothe her restless movements.

"What are the customs here? Do you pick out names before they're born or wait until afterwards?" Rose asks curiously.

"It is customary to decide a name beforehand, but it is kept secret between the parents until the child's name day," Loki tilts his head so he can see her face, "Have you a name you wish to call her then?"

Rose smiles against his skin, "I had thought to name her after you."

"You wish to name her Loki? That is a perfectly horrid name for a girl," he says with a snort of laughter.

"I think it's a really girly name," Rose snickers as he gives her an affronted huff. "But I meant more something that reminds me of you."

Loki feels his chest tighten and for a minute he is hard pressed to draw a clean breath, as images of ill deeds swamp him. "Really? What then, Liesmith, Jötunn, Monster? Which of these things would you wish to call her?" He says bitterly.

Rose sat up and looked down at Loki, and thinks he cannot, will not meet her eyes, "I was going to say Anora, though Monster-Liesmith does have a certain ring to it."

"Honor? What exactly about me makes you think of honor?" Loki closes his eyes, he cannot bear to see pity in her eyes when she looks at him.

"Everything," she says simply. She grabbed him by the chin and turns him to face her. "Everything that you are now, Loki Odinson."

Her words are an echo of what she had said to him earlier, and a lure he cannot resist and Loki kisses her. He realizes then that he has finally allowed himself to think of a future with her, and for the first time in many long years has allowed himself to think of what may come without the bitterness that had plagued him for so long, and he feels young again and full of hope.

And surely he can trust her with what is left of his heart, he thinks. She has stood by him time and again, nonetheless, it takes him two tries and more courage than was pretty before he can make himself admit the truth to her. "I love you Rose," he says. For a moment he thinks she's fallen asleep and his confession has been for naught, but then she takes his hand and laces their fingers together over their child.

"I love you too Loki," Rose tells him. Her grey eyes shimmer with tears, but she gives him a radiant smile and she is beautiful.

He kisses Rose again, and this time when he wraps his arms around her, they both drift off to sleep and do not dream.


	15. Chapter 15

Author's Note: Thanks to all who have read and reviewed!

Disclaimer: Still not mine. Boo!

* * *

"_Walk while ye have the light, lest darkness come upon you."_

~John Ruskin

* * *

In the beginning there was nothing but the cold blackness of eternity until I made the world dance with the light, but I have ever lived in the shadows. I have walked alone always, and I will see the worlds rent into pieces before I give her up.

_I am the darkness that you fear._

_I am eternal. _

_I am Erebus._

* * *

Rose is walking with Uial through Frigga's extensive gardens the next day, and she looks at Uial out of the corner of her eye after they sit, and as usual the Chitauri polishes a weapon, today it was the long knife he carried in a sheath strapped to his belt. Loki had gone with Thor to Vanaheim on orders from Odin to check and see how they were faring after the last attack from the Titan, and she told Uial she needed to go for a walk before she went crazy from being cooped up. Okay, so she really wanted to ask him a few more questions without being overheard too, and she knows that he's aware of the fact as well, because he gives her an aggrieved look when she asks if she can ask a question.

"So why is Loki's mark affected so much more by touch than mine is?" She means sexually of course, but can't say it because she knows that he wants to laugh at her, the bastard. Uial has kept running a cloth over his knife while she was talking, but he has an unholy light of amusement in his eyes.

"Because then the Jötunn males are bound to see to their mates in that fashion. He will be drawn to you, driven to claim you and mark you as his then," Uial looks right at her now (naturally) and he huffs a laugh at her obvious embarrassment. "I've told you this before. Are all human's as dense as you are girl?"

Rose narrows her eyes at him for the slam, but as she thinks about the almost constant need for Loki that she's had lately, and can feel hot color flood her cheeks as she blushes her way through the next question. "So, will it lessen after time? I mean that would be only natural, wouldn't it?"

Uial only laughs harder at that, "No. That is why they mate for life, and only have one true mate, because they only _desire_ to please the one they are bound to. It will be stronger betimes, such as when you are able to conceive, and obviously now, given the way you two are constantly rutting on one another."

"You did not just say "rutting" did you?" She has to laugh at that, but then something he said about being able to conceive made her cringe inside. "So would it be stronger when I'm able to get pregnant?" _Please say no, please say no, please say no. _Dear God, she'd end up ripping Loki's clothes off (or her own) no matter where they were.

Uial just gives her a toothy smile then, "Oh yes, when Liet was ripe for breeding we were scarce able to keep our hands from one another."

There has to be some sort of magical birth-control she can get her hands on or else she's going to be constantly knocked-up, Rose thinks faintly.

When Uial finally quits laughing, he gives her a fond smile. "It is only so if you are a true-mated pair. Even the blind could see the boy's love for you. You are blessed in your union, never think it to be otherwise."

* * *

Later she will think that his words about the blind being able to see Loki's love for her was the thing that saved her life.

* * *

Heimdall could feel the unimaginable force behind the push to open the Bifröst, and his copper-colored eyes widen in horror as he realizes he cannot stand before it, and so the bridge opens.

The figure coalesces from the shadows that swirl around his booted legs as he strides along the bridge, and the opalescent structure turns black and dead under his feet with every step closer that he takes. He is tall with tangled black hair that hangs down past his broad shoulders in a messy braid, and he is covered in heavy muscle that speak of lifetimes of battles. His eyes are unsettling in the fact there is little color to discern from the whites of his eyes, and what color he has is of the palest ivory, and Heimdall feels ill when he turns that eburnean gaze upon him.

The night, dark shadows ripple around him like they are living things and he stares hard at the ground like he is seeing something else beneath his booted feet before he turns his attention back to Heimdall.

"Bring her to me and I may yet allow you to live Gatekeeper," he says. "Bring the mortal to me and I may not destroy your realm. Defy me and I will turn Asgard into a smoking wasteland."

* * *

Rose is frozen is place, and thinks even with Thanos she had never been so scared. Odin had summoned her to the Bifröst, and she can see the nightmare she could not recall standing before her. He slowly materialized from the darkness, and he is the horror from her dream. The whole of it comes back to her and she moans and drops her to her knees, and knows nothing will be able to withstand him.

The black haired man towered over her, and he is taller than even Loki or his brother. He is dressed in unrelieved black and when he turns his gaze to her she closes her eyes, because in her dream Grady had warned her not to look at him.

But what is seen, cannot be unseen. Grady had told her that as well.

Darkness swirls around in a ouroboros of endless night around his legs as he walks in a slow circle around her, and she gets the distinct impression he is sizing her up in some fashion. It was making her skin crawl, and she thinks that even in the beginning Loki had never seemed as alien to her as this man does. He stared at her like he hadn't seen another person in a very, very long time, and when he finally speaks his voice is low and deep, but pleasant and cultured, and at odds with his wraithlike appearance.

"You shine like a beacon through the darkness girl. I am amazed that it took the Titan so long to find you," he cocks his head to the side as he speaks, but his eyes keep darting to the side like he is seeing something no one else can see.

He crouches down so he can look in her eyes, and it is far from reassuring, he only looks stranger close up. He would be handsome she thinks if not for the odd disjointed look in his pale eyes. It was the cliché come to life about "staring too long in the abyss." She can tell he is reading her mind when he tries to smile for her, and she shudders but cannot look away now.

"You think me mad?" He asks her, and reaches out and places his hand gently along the side of her face, [paying no mind when a whine escapes her and she cringes back from his touch. "It is said that the Titan Thanos is mad as well. How did you find him little one? Did you find the Titan to be mad as well?"

Rose opened her mouth to answer and nothing comes out, so she clears her throat and tries again. "Who are you?"

"That is a question, is it not? I have been known by many names."

"What are you known by now?"

"I am Erebus."

"What are you?" Her mind whispers _God of the Lost_, and she shivers helplessly in reaction.

He answers as her thought as if she had spoken aloud to him. "I have been called such before. Nothing is so lost as what is in the eternal darkness, is it not?"

He stands back up, and paces back to look at her with his pale eyes glowing with purpose and she can feel something, _pain/longing/desperation_ from him, and then her world dissolves in agony and there is nothing but pain.

"Give her to me," he commands, and Rose shrieks, no _screams _in pain as blood gushes down her legs in response to his demand. She can hear Uial roaring in rage, and shouts from her brother and the guards, but Erebus blocks them from coming to her aid with a wave of his hand in their direction.

She can see the anguished force in Erebus's glowing eyes as he calls to her daughter even as the pain wants to drive all thought from her mind, and Rose screams again as more blood pours from her, and she would beg him to stop if she had the breath for it, but she can only writhe in agony at his feet as he kills them both.

Rose puts the last of her energy in a mental cry for him to _**stop**_**. **That he would kill the very one that he so longed for if he didn't end this now.

Erebus cocks his head at her, "What is it girl? He crouches down next to her again. "Why do you try and gainsay me?" His eyes are puzzled, as if he truly does not understand why she would try and deny him this.

"You're going to kill her," Rose whispers. "It's too early for her to be born."

Erebus looks hard at her then, and she feels that this time he is really seeing her, and then he picks her up and strides along the Bifröst with her in his arms to where Grady waited with the others.

"Help her," he says imperiously to Grady as he lays her down.

"Grady, don't let her die," Rose begs. She can feel Anora's life slipping away in the blood that pools under her. "Please," she whispers.

Grady places his hands over her contracting sides and she can feel him try to heal her, stop the bleeding and the contractions, but he shakes his head in frustration as he glares up at Erebus.

"What the fuck did you _do_?" He grabs Erebus's arm with a bloody hand and yanks him down next to Rose. "Tell her it's okay and that you won't leave her. She's still trying to answer your call even though it's going to kill her," Grady tells him.

Erebus nods then, and splays one huge hand over her and Rose can feel some of the awful pressure lesson at whatever he is telling her daughter. This time when Grady feeds his energy into her Rose can feel the pain start to subside, and she sags against the dead light of the Bifröst in relief.

"I understand now," Erebus said gravely. He draws a dagger and for a minute she thinks he means to gut her and take the baby, but he makes a slice across his wrist instead and holds it to her mouth. "I bind you to me, and me to you," he said as he drips the blood on her tongue. She tries to jerk back, but he merely holds her jaw in an iron grip as he compels her to drink. "I will not let her go, even if it means that you and I are bound forever," he tells her, and it is the last thing she hears before the world goes black.

* * *

"Where is she?" The pain had driven him to his knees on Vanaheim, and only Thor catching him by the shoulders had kept him from collapsing. They had left for Asgard immediately, and the sight of their mother and father waiting for them when they returned had driven the breath from his lungs as fear gripped him hard.

"Loki, I need you to stay calm. You will not help her if you lose control of yourself," Frigga has a tight hold on his hand as she speaks, and he can feel her nails dig into his skin and it helps to ground him, but it nothing to the crushing weight of fear in his heart.

"What," he has to swallow hard twice to be able to continue. "What has happened? Where is Rose?" Frigga and Odin look to one another, and he cannot bear it. "What has happened to her!"

He sees the other man then, and he knows, he _knows _that he is responsible, and even as Thor tries to hold him back he cannot. Loki hurls a ball of green fire at him so fast even his brother's lightning cannot stop it, but the man just held out his hand and catches the glowing green flame, crushing it to dust in his palm.

"Is that all you have?" Erebus laughed as he turned his hand over and shakes off the dust. "I surely expected more from you boy." He disappears in a swirl of shadow and materializes behind Loki catching his arms up behind his shoulders and pins him, and he cannot break free when the other man takes him to his knees. "We used to fuck the ones like you that thought to best us in battle." He presses a kiss to Loki's cheek, and then gives him a hard shove before he springs back and lets him go.

Loki watches as Erebus's eyes flash from ivory to a pale golden-brown, and he sees awareness surge into the other man's eyes. "We cannot hurt you," he whispers. "She would not be pleased with us if we did."

It is unsettling to say the least that he keeps talking about himself in the plural, at least that's what Loki thinks he is doing. "What did you do to her?" His voice shakes, and if he could kill him he would. "Where is she?"

"I am sorry," Erebus replied gravely. "I did not let her die though. She is with me now, always."

His words make Loki's blood run cold. "What do you mean she is with you?"

"She would not have survived otherwise," Erebus said. "She had lost too much blood to survive it. I did not understand that she could not answer my call, and in my haste I almost slew the mother." He shrugged, as if her life or death were of no great import to him really. "I have shared my immortality with her, she cannot die now."

Loki turns to his mother, "Take me to her."

* * *

Loki curls himself around Rose and tries to calm his racing heart, but she is so _still_. He has seen corpses on the battlefield with more color, her lips are bloodless and she is cool to the touch. The healers had cleaned her before they put her to bed, and had stoked the fire high to help warm her, but she is chilled from blood loss and pain, and he longs for her to awaken.

"You will not leave me min elskede," he whispers to her as he runs a shaking hand over her hair. "Come back to me."

The light from the fire casts the room in shadows before she stirs against him. "Is she alright," Rose's voice is a thin whisper of sound when she speaks, and he can see she is crying when she looks at him. Her pale eyes beg him to tell her that all is well, and he can deny her nothing.

"Anora is well." He laces their fingers together over their daughter as sobs wrack her body. "He will not harm either one of you again," Loki says quietly. He can see in her mind then all too well, how the Greek almost killed them both, feels the terror she felt when she almost bled her life away and was helpless to stop it.

Rose raises her eyes to meet his then. "I don't think he can," she said. "He linked my life to his immortality."

Loki blinks down at her in astonishment, as his mind buzzed with possibilities. Mortals were betimes made Aesir, but it was not something to be taken lightly. He had planned to petition his request to make Rose one of them to Odin, but now it had been taken out of his hands and he was gravely concerned of the consequences of the Greek making her immortal, and the outcome it would have for her.

He is drug from his thoughts by a soft knock at the door and when it opens it is none other than Eir herself, the Goddess of Healing.

Eir nods to him, "Prince Loki your mother had requested I see the Lady Rose's care personally." She looks at him with piercing blue eyes, and even though he waits for it, he sees no censure in her eyes for being ordered to care for his consort.

Loki watches as Eir looks Rose over, and he sees the healer's hands glow with a soft light as she places them on the sides of her stomach. Eir looks at him and he feels his heart sink when she shakes her head as she pulls the blanket back down to cover her.

"The child is fine," Eir tells Rose with a gentle smile, "but the damage to you was extensive. You will need to remain abed for the next few weeks until you can safely deliver Lady Rose."

Loki expects Rose to protest, and is surprised when she just sighs then nods. But he is shocked to his core by her question.

"I'll do whatever it takes to keep her safe," she says quietly. "But will I be able to have more children after this?"

"Possibly, but I think that you would have great difficulty carrying another to term." Eir takes her hand, and smiles when Rose finally looked up at her. "Let us worry about that later. Right now, you need but to rest and your babe will be fine."

"Prince Loki it would be best if you remain with her as much as possible. She may get up to bathe and for very brief periods of time, but it is best if she is kept quiet and content." Eir fixes him with a gimlet stare that always made him do her bidding as a child with any argument.

The healer gives him a considering look as he sits on the edge of the bed next to Rose, then says, "Her life-force brightens when she is in proximity to you. I would think she will benefit greatly from your presence if you can keep as much in contact with her as possible until she is able to safely deliver the babe."

Eir pours a vial into a goblet, then hands it to Rose. "Drink this, it will help you rest and restore your strength to you."

Rose looks at the glass, then at Loki remembering all too well the last time an Asgardian healer had fixed her a potion, but Loki nods at her so she drinks in down with only a slight grimace at the disgusting taste, then hands the cup back.

"You will sleep soon, I think it would be best if Loki stays with you for now." Eir gives Loki a stern look, and while he wants to laugh at her scolding tone of voice he wisely does not. Eir takes her leave of them, and Rose is oddly quiet as he lays down with her. She pillows her head on his shoulder as was her wont to do, but says nothing for long enough he thought she had fallen asleep before she speaks again.

She tell Loki of her dream then, and she can feel by the growing tension in his body that it means _something. _"What do you know of the Primordial Gods? I saw some of his thoughts and I-" Rose blinks her eyes hard to keep from crying. "He thinks that his future is linked with Anora's in some way."

Loki pulls her snugly to him then, and kisses her temple. "I will speak to Odin on this further, and see what he knows of the Greek. Not much is know of the Primordials, but all have heard of the God of Darkness," he says reluctantly.

"God of the Lost," Rose corrects him. "Nothing's is as lost as what is in the eternal darkness." She shivers as she remembers Erebus telling her this, and is afraid to close her eyes and sleep, but can feel the potion lulling her and fights to stay awake.

"Rest," Loki tells her, as he senses her fear. "I will allow no harm to come to you. You are safe now min elskede. No one will take you from me."

He is awake long after Rose succumbs to the potion, and watches the fire burn down to glowing coals before he sleeps as well, but he does not rest easy. Not at all.


End file.
